Best Guzzler Poems

CAR   COURT


Enter,   the older   heavyweight  steel  giant,
The bailiff,  a   1954 Hudson,  reads unhesitant : 
On the docket for this morning :  guilty by implication  -  a  Trabant, 

In close...

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Life's gaze guzzler
Drowning face deep in flaked soot
shines waxing crescent....

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The tank's getting low
The needle's on 'E'
And I already owe
A gold mine to BP.

So I look at the prices
Anything under four bucks?
I'll be eating beans and rices
Because this gas guzzler sucks...

...My account dry and flaccid.
On the verge of poverty.
I'll need an antacid 
'Cuz this gas...

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Repeal Day

In terms of holidays, it’s not in the same league as Christmas and New Year’s Day.  Still, anyone who enjoys a cold beer ought to raise a glass in honor of Repeal Day. 
On Dec. 5, 1933, Congress ratified the 21st Amendment to...

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People say my poetry is mostly doom and gloom
But I’m a funny person and I’ll prove it to you soon
My wit and sharp ripostes are a constant delight
Let’s see if I can tell this story to prove I’m right.

I had three friends who loved booze
And...

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People say my poetry is mostly doom and gloom
But I’m a funny person and I’ll prove it to you soon
My wit and sharp ripostes are a constant delight
Let’s see if I can tell this story to prove I’m right.

I had three friends who loved booze
And...

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People say my poetry is mostly doom and gloom
But I’m a funny person and I’ll prove it to you soon
My wit and sharp ripostes are a constant delight
Let’s see if I can tell this story to prove I’m right.

I had three friends who loved booze
And...

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Don't stand there looking like,
you don't understand,
I am speaking clearly,
you show off man.

Riding on my bumper,
then I had to stop,
oh your breaks didn't work,
your head is full of rocks.

You were in a hurry,
with no where to go,
and then you got mad,
I was driving to slow.

Don't...

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Ding
The dryer just went off
I swear the timer just said 10 more minutes
Time to put my happy face on
And leave for work

Don’t forget to brush your gums
With fluoride issued toothpaste and
Wipe your butt with bleached trees
Made in some Chinese factory

Time to exit your box shaped...

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A guzzler from Lollapalooza
just joined the parade - P. J. Sousa.
    ‘twixt his  trombone and feet
    he's a trifle off-beat 
The cops coax him "off" to their cruiser.

July 2, 2019...

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I'm a restless dream rustler
Tryin to catch what I can't keep
I'm a fine wine guzzler
Who can't seem to get no sleep

Bases loaded and I'm pitchin
I'm like the bases basically
When I awoke was in the kitchen
Drinkin coffee in my sleep

I had a lifetime to be lonely
But...

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“dreamer”


i’m a restless dream rustler
tryin’ to catch what i can’t keep
i’m a fine wine guzzler
who can’t seem to get no sleep

bases loaded and i’m pitchin’
i’m like the bases basically
when i awoke was in the kitchen
drinkin’ coffee in my sleep

i had a lifetime to be lonely
but...

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Backyard dandelions
have parachuted upwards,
        on heavenly breezes.

The mower gave them a kick-start,
then they ascended; some to tickle
            ears and noses.

Ride along garden cowboy,
your straw fieldhands hat,
 ...

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when holded Earle a too large cup
of water heapied one inch up
drankied drankied Earle guzzler
and wetted chin and all his beard
slurping gulping could be heard
‘til emptied was the too full cup
and Earle’s hair grew ‘bout one inch up



...

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