Best Fit Up Poems
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
I'm sure we have one going spare
You see that pink sofa that you brought with you
Just won't quite fit up our stairs
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
I see you like it on the floor
But the ground, whilst sound for bums big and round
Could make your skinny bottom just sore
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
My! That's a fetching trampoline
But whilst a bounce is good for your health
It'll turn our other guests quite green
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
You're sitting in a bowl of fruit
I'm not one to judge, or to try give advice
But squashed peaches aren't good for your suit
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
Please don't sit on the cake
I know it's delicious and the icing is firm
But it did take me hours to bake
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
That's a smashing helter-skelter
It's got to be said, though it hurts my head
It really is quite a belter, but…
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
I'm wincing at your new choice of seat
That rat and mouse trap, could make your bum snap
And I've just got this place nice and neat
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
Where did you find all those balloons?
44 on each arm and your legs in a hammock
And assisted by 14 baboons?!
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
You've squeezed into a window pane
That's quite a talent, and I'm truly impressed
It's a sight I shan't see again, but
Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood?
I know it sounds boring and dull
Compared to that bouncy castle you've brought
But you see, the room's already full
Ah! Thank you for choosing a chair Mrs Atwood
Please let's make amends
I do like people with random ideas
So, let's sit together as friends
On CHAIRS Mrs Atwood, on good solid CHAIRS
Yes, let's sit together as friends
If your fingers were made out of sausages
I'm sure that your dog would like those
but the problem would be you could not tie your shoes
and they certainly won't fit up your nose!
For contest 'write a funny poem for a 7 year old', sponsor Kevin Shaw
3rd february 2018
Eyes open as you inhale the morning air, The body still heavy from slumber loosens with each stretch and yawn, Standing slowly you walk to the window, Peeking through the inviting sun beams onto you its warmth, You head for the front door, Every subtle step the floorboards beneath your feet creak and groan as you near the doorway arch you step down onto the entryways stone floor, Ice cold to the touch of your skin, Shivers run down your spine swiftly you step onto the welcoming mat, Your feet warm once again you grasp the door handle turning slowly you hear the door peel away from the frame, Cool dew air swooshes in with the draft smacking against your face as if you were splashed by a sprinkler, Goosebumps appear in a matter of seconds, Peering out beyond your house the soft blankets of fog thinly cover the landscape as far as the eye can see, Dewdrops speckled all about your yard you hesitate to proceed, You choose to carry on seeing the possession in which you seek is only a few feet in-front of you, One foot proceeds after the next, Once on concrete, twice on concrete, Thrice you pause, Looking down the lush green sea at your feet an the tears of last nights cold temperature beckoning, Forth step the grass bristles between your toes slashing at your ankles, The icy cool strips of grass feel as though it were cutting deep within to the bone, Fifth step you reach down picking up the prize you sought after, With haste you rush back through the icy sea of green without fear or hesitation, Leaping onto the concrete an bounding for the front door, Closing the door behind you chills rise once again as the warmth bellows out from the fireplace, Your lashed with wave after wave of hungry flames only feet away, You exhale with triumph striking a silly victory pose as you wipe your feet on the mat below, Moving to the recliner you sit back propping your fit up and unleash the paper from within it's clear wrapping, Your morning has only just begun.