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Would You Not Prefer a Chair, Mrs Atwood

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
I'm sure we have one going spare 
You see that pink sofa that you brought with you  
Just won't quite fit up our stairs  

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
I see you like it on the floor 
But the ground, whilst sound for bums big and round 
Could make your skinny bottom just sore  

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
My!  That's a fetching trampoline 
But whilst a bounce is good for your health 
It'll turn our other guests quite green  

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
You're sitting in a bowl of fruit 
I'm not one to judge, or to try give advice 
But squashed peaches aren't good for your suit  

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
Please don't sit on the cake 
I know it's delicious and the icing is firm 
But it did take me hours to bake  

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
That's a smashing helter-skelter 
It's got to be said, though it hurts my head 
It really is quite a belter, but…    

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
I'm wincing at your new choice of seat 
That rat and mouse trap, could make your bum snap 
And I've just got this place nice and neat  

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
Where did you find all those balloons? 
44 on each arm and your legs in a hammock 
And assisted by 14 baboons?!  

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
You've squeezed into a window pane 
That's quite a talent, and I'm truly impressed 
It's a sight I shan't see again, but    

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? 
I know it sounds boring and dull 
Compared to that bouncy castle you've brought 
But you see, the room's already full  

Ah!  Thank you for choosing a chair Mrs Atwood 
Please let's make amends 
I do like people with random ideas 
So, let's sit together as friends 
On CHAIRS Mrs Atwood, on good solid CHAIRS 
Yes, let's sit together as friends

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