Best Elf Poems

St Anthony's orphanage was founded some thirty years ago
For homeless and orphaned children, by a priest Father Angelo
Every child was made welcome; race and religion...

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I am from Great Britain  – it’s not a rumour
I always try to write with a sense of humour

In 1996 we moved to live...

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Away up north where it’s snowing they say
the elves are preparing for Christmas day.
Big elves little elves, busier than bees
All building toys, for under Christmas...

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On the night before Christmas, alone in my house, 
Sorrow gnawed at my soul, like a ravenous mouse.
Entombed in my blankets, I struggled to sleep,
Ready...

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I Heard Mother
(to tune of "I Saw Mother Kissing Santa Clause")

I heard Mother scolding Santa's elf
As I prowled the house on Christmas Eve.
He'd hid in...

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 ~ I - I Arrive in Glasgow ~

When I arrived in Glasgow town
I knew nary a soul
So tired I's nearly fallin' down
Yet I'd no...

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It seems that time...is calling out my name
As raindrops beat ..upon the windowpanes
While scanning through the pages...of my life
In a book...where empty pages...still remain

What, I...

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Owl Parliament is now in session, so be quiet please.
All whistles, hoots, growls, grunts and screeches need to cease.

As the largest of you all, I’m...

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There was once an elf who learnt how to brew
a full-bodied beer and cook Irish stew.
He mixed them both together
with whisky for good measure.
When BANG...

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Twas the night before Christmas and all were in need
    as we waited for Santa who had promised us Weed.
Our parents were...

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For This Is The Story, An Old Poet Sought Not To Miss
 (Part One)

I've ate Eden's last apple, coveted Jason's* golden fleece
chained myself in caverns...

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Santa was in his sleigh waiting to go
But the elf loading team was a no show
A strike had been called
Santa was appalled
The elves taunted him...

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'Twas the night before Christmas the kids were in bed,
and visions of bicycles rolled in their heads;
the bright shiny flyers of candy cane red,
and all...

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Twas the night before Christmas and I was a gasp
    at the rumors that filled me with an odious fright.
For Santa Claus...

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'Twas the night before Christmas and it started to snow
Santa Claus was getting ready to go, ho ho ho
To keep himself warm he drank Scotch...

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