The Elf On the Shelf

This poem is not about me
but then my shelf is not a shelf but a tree,
so read on and then you will see.

I once knew an old Mole
who did not like living in a hole.

He was so scared of the dark
came up through the ground into the park.

He looked around missed me completely
spoke to a swing, so i said discreetly

‘Hey mate here i am, over here
what can i do for you my dear?’

He turned to me asked me the way
‘Hey Moley only if you can pay’

‘Alas i cannot pay you anything
I’m just a senior, a pension I’m accepting’

He then asked me the way to Alice
I said ‘She who lives in the palace?’

His answer both polite and courteous ‘Yes indeed,
the one I’m to marry’ as he scurried away at stealth speed.

I thought to myself
climbing back on to my shelf.

How extreme this funny old Mole
so desperate and with all that soul.

Hope old Moley doesn’t mind
but Alice is not the marrying kind.

A-lice in the palace is a louse
living within the fur of an old mouse.

A badge holding C.I.A spy
trained especially to pry.

On those vermin digging holes
a death sentence to all Moles.

‘If only Moley had paid
this information I would gladly trade!’

There's a moral here somewhere?

© Harry J Horsman  2010
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Dietrich Avatar
September 19, 2012 at 7:19 AM
oh my goodness. how clever with the word A-lice!! Very creative poem, Harry. I was clicking all over this page and very happy to finally find this amusing one that I'd never seen yet. I think I can even remember the contest it may have gone to!! Well, I am still now half way through comments. I better get going!!! Still have to get out the door to work.
Foster Avatar
November 3, 2010 at 5:57 AM
Marvleous write Harry, truly captivating imagery flowing throughout. Truly a joy to have read for you, :-) Thank you for sharing and for your wonderful comments on my poem. God Bless, Always, Adell
K. Avatar
September 2, 2010 at 3:13 PM
Hi Harry :)! Oh my, I only read this fun take on moles now-- was this for my contest?? lol clever play on "alice" there-- I feel so bad...I never saw this among my contest entries?? I sure messed up with changing the deadline for it-- I even lost another entry because of it--never saw that one either-- I sure am sorry this wasn't there :(-- Super thank you for always supporting my contests :) nikko :)
A   Avatar
September 1, 2010 at 11:38 PM
Wild Harry, really off the top of your head wild,..p.d.
Culverhouse Avatar
August 31, 2010 at 4:07 AM
I like it...even if we aren't sure of the moral...is it money talks??
Devonshire Avatar
August 30, 2010 at 9:52 AM
Thanks for visiting my work and leaving a kind comment, Harry. Hope you'll be entering the autumn leaf haiku contest as well. Love, Carolyn
R Avatar
August 30, 2010 at 5:05 AM
Great story here, harry:) The mole sure got a big surprise when he found out the girl was a louse. I also liked the way you didn't actually say the moral at the end( like a classical fable would) but, instead, you asked 'There's a moral there somewhere?' so the reader could look out for himself for a moral. Imaginative write! Emily
Kendrick Avatar
August 29, 2010 at 5:17 AM
Very imaginative write that had a little bit of it all..Sara
Devonshire Avatar
August 28, 2010 at 7:11 AM
What a great story! The mole pops up out of the ground seeking a "girl" in a palace to marry, but she turns out to be a louse. Heck, I would have told him just to see the expression on the mole's face. Fun poem, Harry. Best wishes in the contest! Love, Carolyn
A  Avatar
August 27, 2010 at 9:50 AM
WoNDERFUL PoEM, INTRIGUING*luv~SKAT
Richards Avatar
August 27, 2010 at 8:22 AM
What a great imagination you have!! This is such a fun poem...........Holy moley!!
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