Best Egad Poems

as the PROPHETS of profits, WE lead and WE’re fair
while WE’re living the life of the poor BILLIONAIRE
– silver yachts, pearly castles, cash (plenty to spare) –
with the world on OUR backs... ah! the burdens WE bear!

being HAVES (not the have-nots) as nature decrees
means WE’re...

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The sun rose in the west today – or, perhaps, I was standing on my head?
I went to a funeral for my very best friend, but the chap wasn’t even dead!

Said he wanted to be eulogized while drinking a pint of beer.
I think the things...

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OWSZAT

The match was slow and boring
The runs were far between,
And an air of dreamy somnolence
Hung o’er the village green.
Then out from the pavilion
A handsome figure ran.
The crowd sat up, paid notice,
A loud applause began.
The stranger sprinted round the pitch
Disrupting all the match,
The fielder halted in...

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Someone is consumed with anger and has gone mad
Venting fitful words of ire ...how childish; how sad
Like a flock of loud crows
The noisy blah blah goes
It's so trite and trivial. Give it up. Egad!


Life is filled with locked doors wherever I may roam
But I will...

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Long, long ago and longer
When I was but a child
I read of Doctor Livingstone
Who ventured in the wild.
Dr. David had no fear
He went where few had gone.
This missionary and explorer 
To Africa was drawn.
The unsophisticated natives
Didn’t know the wealth they had
Allowed Livingstone to name their...

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It’s wrong to judge people by appearance
So when he approached me with that grimace
I tried to see what’s inside
Perhaps a sweet prince did hide
Behind scaly green skin on the surface

He offered his lips, I felt revolted
And through the door I just might have bolted
If I...

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plus or minus today on a cumulus of clouds keeping me from the stars
from my sofa I can do anything it's amazing 
the puzzle of life coming in a grid of ain't
isn't awesome the oer of over the top
flap your wings dear
you were right
I did
guess...

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There was an old woman from Brighton

Whose face the small children would frighten

     “Egad, why these wrinkles?

     My eyes lost their twinkles!”

Her skin she used clothespins to tighten








*April 11, 2018...

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TEN DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

Ten days till Christmas
Ten days of worry    hustle
What shall I get her?

She won’t help me out
Won’t even give me a clue
What’s a man to do?

She never complains
About my Christmas presents
No    just this blank look

Makes me feel...

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That little boy who I used to tickle
And helped learn to tie his shoes,
Just called me up on the telephone
To give me the happy news.

That young boy who I taught to wrestle
And watched him practice football,
From half way across the world
Made me proud with just...

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ICKY, SUCKY, YUCKY
???????????????

 wheezing, sneezing; allergy in my throat
darn green mucus pasted in my hair,
steroids tumbling down on  chest
and  “no- bath -for -days”  anywhere!

mites and dust in  rinsed fingernails
fever flushing  through these  dead toes,
and whacking sinus  drips much...

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Aunt Elf is brewing a Halloween treat,
something wicked, and ghoulishly special to eat.
Flesh of lizards and roaches and frogs, egad!
Aunt Elf has mixed  them all into a salad. 

A cauldron simmering way  back of the stove, 
smells of something atrocious spiked with clove,...

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She slithers with niceties, fangs intact
Stealing your gaze with her manipulative act.

Can’t see her reflection, for there is none, egad!
You search for her heart but there’s none to be had

Does she think we don’t see her behind her wall
Waiting in lurk for a poor soul...

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let's start with a line and see where it leads
People like blood so I will make mine bleed

a zombie a chainsaw perhaps some bats
For good measure I'll throw in some black cats

I'm running out of ideas I think
Something is bad, it's a terrible stink

Have you...

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OKAY? WHAT FIEND STOLE THY BODY ELECTRIC!?

thine distorted reflection rippled 
within rain maker's pool upon a midnight clear
full moonlight flooded shallow abyss, 
cleaved fractal structures of silence 
reverberating deathly hallow from 'ere
to infinity, whence magic wand 
whipped out from whereabouts unknown 

wove enchanting spell atop...

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