Best Earplugs Poems
Voices facing headwinds feel the calming seas
Elephants grasping backdraft tails are letting
go and hearing the rumble of discontent.
The runaway (with your $$$) train called washing-
ton with earplugs jammed so tight hairpieces
jiggle with every falsehood.
People are waking up!
People are waking up!
Were you asked if money is better spent (1/2 trillion$
stolen from
your future) arming blurred sides in Syria that we
intend to bomb? then decry their use against us?
We the people are no longer in control and live in
fear. Do you worry I cannot speak freely in this
land of liberty?
WHY?
My ancestors died in battle so I can write this
diatribe!
You, all of you artists, they fear us most...
and silence us if our words pull the sheep
away from 'dancing with the stars'
I am not a slave...I am not a slave
Rejoice in liberty!
Join my voice!
only james marshall goff
proud ancestor of the
Scottish Black Watch
12/12/14
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
earplugs, anti bullying,
Form:
Lyric
There are women who feel a strong need
To nag men until their ears bleed
In a war of attrition
With relentless petition
Is a cruel way to make men concede
Men wish for a life of peace
But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease
Men will just say
It's the female DNA
That must out in it's need for release
We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag
Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag'
Men get on our nerves
When you paw at our curves
You should give up and wave the white flag
We can suffer from bad PMT,
Become ogres that men want to flee
We Scream and we Shout
Say We’ll throw you out
But for some reason you wont let us be
Better by far, we should try this next time
It's effective and will prove sublime
By wearing Earplugs
In each of our Lugs
We'll be laughing, whilst nagging - in Mime
Laughing together will lighten our day
It's a tonic to chase all our problems away
For a really Big Smile
Can last a long while
And we'll both get on better that way
Categories:
earplugs, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
Now don't you be complaining that I snore
when you be the one sounding like a chainsaw
cause of you I toss and turn every night
pull the covers up outta sheer fright
While you be sleeping like a loud log
I feel like stuffing yo mouth with a cod
but you'd probably just spit it out
get back to making weird noises with yo mouth
One night I thought I was dreaming
remember when I woke up hysterical screaming
thought I heard an elephant roar
but it turned out it was just one of yo snores
So how can you complain that I even snore
since you fall asleep soon as my slippers hit the floor
for awhile you be my mister pillow mellow fellow
but few minutes later be hearing a very loud whale like bellow
I got an idea to get me some earplugs
as I can't sweep yo zoo snores under the rug
and if that don't help and I can still hear
then yo be off to the couch way over there!
6-2-18
Categories:
earplugs, humor, silly, sleep,
Form:
Rhyme
`
Slandered wavelengths
from an old worn out speaker
cracking with each unbalanced bass note
Finding my brain on overload
and a slower heart beat
out of tune
Static becomes the union,
tuning dial gone, volume at high
glowing in the corner of cobweb melodies
lingering on a distant shelf
now sinking lower in this
roadside armchair (Where are the earplugs when you need them)
An empty bottled fortress
protects the pain at my feet,
brown glass soldiers stand guard,
bottle cap mementos flip
like dancing beans on a folding table
at El Mercado
One more for the road
(like I need this)
along crooked dotted lines, weaving nonsense
two at a time, smirking
snickering like children hiding from a babysitter,
mimicking the way
Still the static, white noise,
drowns out the joy and the trees cry,
when birdsong of night haunts with a sound
interrupting the dance of the
beer bottle chorus line
and I tap a painful toe
Categories:
earplugs, art,
Form:
Free verse
Written: January 20, 2024
___________________________________________
Sibylline stammer upswells
I'd explore my innermost self
My precious blue earplugs,
which I dropped in 6th grade,
Will be retrieved as I seek zealous bliss
an elusive state seems to evade me,
seldom beyond brief cameos.
A friend got me a sadness box,
and years later, I felt it was his finest gift,
I'd start on a quest to find my jejunity spirit,
Innocence without current anguish
I aspire to recover my purity.
Once eternal faith in various altruism won,
alas, I intend to revive my heart
with a firm faith in a transcendental force.
I'd painstakingly dig for my roots-my core
that molded my identity,
I doubt I can reveal these gems,
a box of sights might be full and unfathomable.
If I find these elusive things,
my propensity to sustain them is dubious,
even in its brittle grace, Earth is iffy,
for squandering what is precious.
But my glance would persist,
I believe that remaining hopeful is crucial,
against allegedly overwhelming odds.
I may not recover everything I lost,
my genuine self may be detected,
since that's all that matters.
Categories:
earplugs, analogy, appreciation, childhood, heart,
Form:
Free verse
Fall descends as Summer leaves.
Autumn cools a skewed romance.
Here we find a heart that grieves,
While the other lives to dance.
Short the span of peak allure.
Egos start to hum the blues.
Mirrors follow and procure
Any truth you wish to view.
If the other shoe be age,
Let it drop, accept the dread.
Earplugs mute his music's rage,
Yours in stacks beneath the bed.
Flattery can quickly blind
When it's served in large amounts.
Don't leave common sense behind,
With a dwindling bank account.
Trochaic Tetrameter.
Rhyme / AB-AB
Gene Bourne.
02-05-13.
.
Categories:
earplugs, age, allusion, analogy, break
Form:
Didactic
I hurried to a nearby town
to give an interview.
I knew this perfect job would help
me start my life anew.
I took the elevator and
pushed button number eight.
The car lurched; then it wouldn’t budge.
I cried, “Oh, I’ll be late!”
One shrieking nut, two clueless girls
who texted or played rap,
one man with body odor, and
two grouches shared the trap.
I wished I had air freshener,
handcuffs, nerve pills, earplugs,
and a repairman. Soon he came.
Relieved, I gave him hugs!
*************
To get to my new job, I take
the stairs; this choice seems wise,
because they never fail. Also,
I need the exercise.
Date Posted: August 13, 2017
June 25, 2018, entered in Robert Haigh's contest
Categories:
earplugs, humor, stress,
Form:
Rhyme
There are women who feel a strong need
To nag men until their ears bleed
In a war of attrition
With relentless petition
Is a cruel way to make men concede
Men wish for a life of peace
But get nagged by a tongue that won't cease
Men will just say
It's the female DNA
That must out in its need for release
We can’t help it; we just HAVE to nag
Guess some folks would call us 'an old hag'
But men get on our nerves
When you paw at our curves
Men should give up and wave the white flag
We can suffer from bad PMT,
Become ogres that men want to flee
We scream and we shout
Say we’ll throw you out
But for some reason you wont let us be
Better by far, we should try this next time
It's effective and will prove sublime
By wearing earplugs
In each of our lugs
We'll be laughing whilst nagging - in mime
Laughing together will lighten our day
It's a tonic to chase our problems away
For a really big smile
Can last a long while
And we'll both get along better that way
24th January 2016-01-24
Collaboration by Jan Allison and Rob Bettridge
Categories:
earplugs, for her, for him,
Form:
Limerick
Sometimes a unwanted sound
Known to bounce all around
It goes up and down
Is it pollution?
Earphones or earplugs is the solution
It volumes can be controlled on the radio or television
Played on loudspeakers gives it an longer extension
It can block, distort, change or interfere with the meaning of a message in both human and
electronic communication
In a broader sense it still is considered to be information
It can be heard on a short-wave loud or low
Like light and water it has a continuous flow
Noise is also used in the creation of 2D and 3D images
In any electronic circuit, there exist random variations in currents or voltages
Categories:
earplugs, computer-internet, people, science
Form:
Rhyme
just one more beer
time for me to go
do i want another?
i missed the bus
wobble home on foot
will she still be awake?
i lost my keys
no sneaking in now
anyone got earplugs?
For contest 'Quesionku 2', sponsor Richard Lamoreaux
20th October 2015
Categories:
earplugs, drink, relationship,
Form:
Questionku
The concert Band
A work of reeds, air, and hands
Reading sheet music isn’t easy
And our uniforms are anti-sleazy
All instruments must be in tune and time
Otherwise we sound like a broken chime
The flutes sound sweet and dainty – like a fairy
A piccolo can go so high it’s scary
Our key of music is set in the key of C
When we are in tune we sound so pretty
Clarinets are reeded
When they squeak, earplugs are needed.
They play way too soft; you must strain to hear
And you have to be quite nearfor that my dear
Saxophones are loud, reeded, and sqeaky
Sometimes they can be quite spit leaky
Those sweaty neckstraps are almost like ties
You could wear it with a suit and look like one of those classy rich guys
Trumpets range in color - silver or gold
Their sound is quite bold
They have valves of three
And all the fingerings are quite easy
French Horns are very hard to play
Tis hard to get the note you want to stay
You have to put your hand in the bell
The smell is totally not swell
Then the oboe and the bassoon.
Oboe sound high and sqeaky, and the bassoon sounds like a loon
Both reeds are double and small
And they arent quiet at all
Percussion is the busiest part to every band
They dont use air or reed; they use thier hands
They keep the tempo for the most part of the time
All of the precussion instruments cost one thousand times a dime
Trombones are made of brass and a slide
If they're loud, your hearing is fried
Stand to close, you'll get hit
Ive heasrd that hurts quite a bit
Without the conductor. we wouldn't be a band
They can change tempo with a flick of a hand
They control everything; we bow to your wow
They tell us where to end and when to play now
Categories:
earplugs, art, funny, imagination, music,
Form:
Now you may think that these things cannot be true,
But following extensive research, something that I do,
I can completely reassure you, these annoyances are fact,
So please forgive me, if I appear to be a little short on tact,
Driving behind anyone wearing any kind of hat
Is like crossing the path of a big, black cat
You’ll be stuck driving below the limit of speed
By the your long journey’s end, you’re frazzled indeed.
Watching television with this sweet husband of mine,
He talks and lectures the TV, earplugs would be sublime,
Grabbing a cup of tea quickly on the commercial break,
You open the frig to find the milk is empty- oh for pitty sake.
You need to call a company to ask a simple question,
The never ending electronic choices, gives me indigestion.
Why or why can’t there be a human to answer my call,
I promise I won’t talk long, the time needed would be small.
I love children dearly but I think its important to stress,
Parents should parent, its their responsibility to address,
There is nothing more annoying than going out for a fine meal,
To have little ones scream and run wild, to me, its a big deal.
These small annoyances puts my patience to the test,
I remind myself not to sweat the small stuff, that’s best.
When you consider all the things that others must endure today,
My annoyances are just trivial, so I’ll just smile and be okay.
Written July 26, 2011
For "What Annoys You" Contest
Won 3rd Place
Categories:
earplugs, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
To aid sleep I now wear earplugs
They're superb but one thing that bugs
I now look like Shrek
But oh, what the heck
It's better than taking sleep drugs!
02/05/20
Categories:
earplugs, body, humorous, sleep,
Form:
Limerick
What’s that infuriating hum,
that droning, distant, low-pitched sound?
No one can find its origin,
but maybe’s and I-think’s abound.
In my small rural area,
not all can hear this thing that makes
me crazy; and no city friends
hear it at all. It even wakes
me up. It’s worse when I’m inside.
Earplugs don’t help. I can’t ignore
this interloper that has wormed
its way into my very core.
For decades news reports of this
annoying sound have been widespread.
The mystery is seldom solved.
The hum remains a cause for dread.
Factual write (hasn't happened in my community, but has happened in numerous other areas, according to news reports)
March 7, 2017 (posted)
April 4, 2017
Categories:
earplugs, anxiety, mystery,
Form:
Rhyme
The Steely Shooters are coming to town to play us some of their hits,
They used to stand like gods to us before they called it quits.
That was twenty years ago but now they are back together,
They’re picking up their guitars and strapping on their leather.
We have to go and see them play to recapture a piece of our youth,
To hear them strum and pound away while singing words of truth.
I hope that they play “Sham Slammers,” a song I can’t replace,
That was on the radio the very first time that I got to second base.
And I remember you and me out dancing to the “Horrible Hop.”
We probably would have kept right on if they hadn’t made us stop.
So let’s get a pair of tickets and go down to the arena and see,
We’ll have to pay an exorbitant price; they don’t give them out for free.
I think I have some concert shirts that I packed away with care,
That was quite a while ago, I hope that they’re a size that I can wear.
We should take along some earplugs in case they play “Jacob’s Spear”
We’ll have to go to work the next day and we’ll certainly need to hear.
Let’s get the kids a sitter and then we’ll be ready to rock,
Oh, wait, it says right here that they won’t play until nine o’clock.
Ooo, that’s a little too late for me, I’ve got an early morning meeting,
I’m a bear when I don’t get my sleep I don’t think that needs repeating.
Well, let’s just stay at home and watch them, I’ll get their concert DVD,
We can wear our too tight t-shirts and dance in front of our TV.
We can send the kids on up to bed and then we’ll own the place,
And when they play “Sham Slammers,” I’ll see if I can steal another base.
Categories:
earplugs, funny, hope,
Form:
Light Verse