Best Dry Cleaners Poems
NO WINTER THIS YEAR! NO NONE AT ALL!
no winter this year, no! none at all!
the ducks dilly dally, honeybees in the fall!
my dry cleaners said "no need for your coat!
I'll get to it when, I dock my sailboat!"
anthills getting bigger, their soldiers don't hurry!
I checked the forecast, no chance of a flurry!
the blueberry tea, I've been served alfresco,
stays quite piping hot! thank you Ernesto!
my finest snow angel, about to appear,
must take a raincheck! with Santa's Reindeer!
the heavens above, must surely have reasons,
postponing ice fishing, and blurring the seasons!
I'll wait two more weeks, before I declare!
"remove thin-ice signs! steep drop-off beware!"
Panting, running, paying, fuming,
Bumping, swearing, hurrying, driving,
All because today is the thirty first
Of the month, why are we all nigh to burst!
Got to buy groceries, go the butcher
The dry cleaners, the florist, the baker,
Did i turn on the slow cooker?
Have guests coming at 8.00p.m still
On the road, home in 15 minutes – phone Will,
Darling, Did you collect the birthday cake,
There is a big accident, traffic hectic won’t make
It to pick it up – Yes sweetheart I have
Drive carefully the roads are crazy,
Looks like a storm brewing, weather drizzly and hazy.
As I arrive in our driveway it pours with rain,
And I drop a packet, which had the red wine, I stain
My clothes and the car seat, go have your shower,
Hubby says, relax, everything is under control,
Turned shower taps to their full strength and power
Exhausted, let the water run over my naked body
Till I feel refreshed, get dressed in my
Sexy black number,
And come downstairs, hubby gives me a wolf whistle,
Just wait till the guests leave he says, look at him
From under my lashes!
The aroma wafting from the stove is
Provocatively divine!
And next to the sofa is a glass of room
Temperature red wine.
Table is set, arrange flowers I brought in a vase,
Immediately, the bell goes ding dong,
It’s Cherry and Tim,
She couldn’t wait to show me her engagement ring,
Hot on their heels are Susan and Barry,
He has just asked Susan to him marry,
And last of all my twin sister Rina, arrives she’s wise,
With her new boyfriend in tow she bellows, Hi guys!
Fun was had and wine was drunk
Laughter abounded in the lounge and dining room,
We all forgot how tired we were and
It was end of the month, and all the media forecasted,
Was doom and gloom!
It was my birthday, turning forty, no turning back now,
Don’t regret a day of my life, bless the day I took my vow,
Happy birthday dear Mary, happy Birthday to you,
I felt blest had my hubby and sister present and select
Friends but few,
Mellow and happy and with certainly no one drunk,
Just four happy couples full of zest and funk!
Our guests began departing, in twos they left,
I slipped of my shoes and gave a big yawn,
Will picked me up, and must have undressed
Me – for all I remember is waking up to a peck
On my cheek,
And a scrumptious breakfast in bed,
I always knew I had picked the right guy to wed!
If lawyers get de-barred and clergymen de-frocked
Does it naturally follow and make sense
That electricians are de-lighted and cowboys de-ranged?
Need some answers, no sitting on the fence!
Can a motorist be de-fined, a balloon's mood de-flated
This silliness surely must stop
Do dead mailmen de-liver, are old ships de-ported
Better stop before I call a burly cop
Do musicians get de-noted, dry cleaners de-pressed?
Now hold on, I'm getting quite upset
Can models be de-posed, do tree surgeons de-bark?
Haven't heard any answers as yet
Do skirts get de-pleted, has your hair been de-parted?
This must be some kind of a plot
Artists quit by de-sign, symphonies de-compose?
I think about de's things a lot!
© Jack Ellison 2013
What is it about a Wizard's appearance that gives me pause? I
always find myself guessing about what type of lurid surreptitious
act of debauchery is practiced within the confines of such nonsensical
attire.
You always seem to run into one of these super naturalists in the dark
recesses of some ancient dim lit pub swilling grog by candle lite.
Come on, would you allow an eighty year old guy with a white beard
down to his navel, wearing a robe that hasn't seen a dry cleaners in
a fortnight, toting a six foot gnarled hard wood staff, into your bar?
The guy won't even take that floppy wide brimmed cone shaped hat
off when he comes inside.
And another thing, he's always on a quest, never just out for a cold one.
I don't know, this has just always bothered me a little...
What's up with dry cleaners
What is it that they do
They're using nothing wet
What's this potion they use
Take our clothes to the back
Come back they're on the rack
You never smell anything on your clothes
What goes on in the back do you suppose
There's no sound of any machines going
Are they scraping with their nails, then blowing
Metal hangers, Ferris wheel of clothes
What actually goes on, nobody knows
Their always there to meet you at the desk
Why does it take a couple days, this quest
There can't be much room in the back of the place
The merry go round takes most of the space
Have you ever known someone in this business
Does it seem to you a little suspicious
No dry cleaners equipment ever for sale
To do the job, what does it entail
No matter how old, the business remains
Even the signs are old, no one complains
Next time your there, try to get to the back
Get some information, and get some facts
Maybe they send the clothes out somewhere
Don't you think we should be at least aware
A broken zipper
Can happen any time
When it does-
It does happen
It is at the wrong time
Rushing to be outside
The zipper would break
On a winter jacket
Or a pair of jeans
A change in a zipper
Is what is needed
A winter jacket
That is different
When nothing else
to wear
Go to the dry cleaners
They send it out
When returned
The charge would be
a three digit
For a payment job done
He served me up an ice cream sundae on a trey,
with only one cherry on top to my dismay,
instead asked the maitre dee for a parfait,
he said roger that I'll bring it back with no delay,
And while at the cafe I overheard a lady saying she wanted to sue,
angry about the dry cleaners ruining her rose suit,
I just went about my way the story getting harry,
next thing I knew my boyfriend asked me to mary me,
We ended up getting married on a summer's eve,
but my new husbands colin burst when he let out a sneeze,
using a philips screwdriver that was up my sleeve,
we put it back now intact with one les bill to grieve,
Then later I managed to get stuck in the john,
my husband jimmied the lock and I was gone,
soon things started to get back to newlywed norm,
each day waking up for our jobs at the break of dawn,
Afterwards for 9 months ate nothing but pickles and candy,
suddenly I felt my luke warm water break which was jim dandy,
now baby makes three which means more to cary,
along with our pet tomcat whom we named scaredy.
11-10-16
The corporation offers logo wear
Dazzling subsidized cafes
State of the art fitness centers
They bring the dentist, dry cleaners
And hair stylist to you
No need to leave our campus
Ever! Never! Never!
You won’t be able to resist
“Resistance is futile” sayeth the Borg
But do strive to maintain
A healthy work/life balance!
Productivity depends on it!
We are a big happy family!
With a bottom line
You won’t see it coming
You won’t know it’s happening
A slow chronic progression to blindness
Like whiskey, the collective seduces you
Along the way you will be anointed
With undeniable proof of your value:
Bonuses and stock options land in your lap
Awards and AmEx gift cards appear on your desk
Until you can no longer abjure
‘Tis best to surrender and demur
You have incorporated into the corporation
Your cultish obedience has turned
To Stockholm Syndrome
There, there now...Reeeeeeeeeeelllaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxx
Don’t struggle! Do abide!
There, there now...doesn’t that feel better?
If lawyers get de-barred and clergymen de-frocked
Does it naturally follow and make sense
That electricians are de-lighted and cowboys de-ranged?
Need some answers, no sitting on the fence!
Can a motorist be de-fined, or a balloon be de-flated
This silliness surely must stop
Do dead mailmen de-liver, are old ships de-ported
Better stop before I call a burly cop
Do musicians get de-noted, dry cleaners de-pressed?
Now hold on, I'm getting quite upset
Can models be de-posed, do tree surgeons de-bark?
Haven't heard any answers as yet
Do skirts get de-pleted, has your hair been de-parted?
This must be some kind of a plot
Artists quit by de-sign, symphonies de-compose?
I think about de-strings a lot!
when you don't want a
date, tell the person you have
pressing engagements.
About an hour later she slipped
Yuri Andropov into the conversation:
*“I have to drop off a blouse at the dry cleaners.”*
Suddenly it was May Day &
I’m back in Red Square,
Dwarfed beneath larger than life
Lenin, Engels & Marx mug shots.
Inter-continental ballistic lorry loads
Roll past the reviewing stand, while
Geezer Reds in Ushanka fur hats,
Soused on *Stoli,* reeking of borscht,
Chain-smoke cheap Soviet Belomors.
I share these thoughts, handing
Mrs. Khrushchev the car keys.
Having cowered herself in terror,
Having ducked & covered many
Burial promises & shoe-pound threats,
She gives me a tired babushka smirk.
We are conjugal Cold Warriors,
Both weary now, creeping up on 70,
Skirmishes & brinksmanship behind us.
Tolerant of each other at last;
Lukewarm *détente* between us.
They say crime don't pay, we just left ST. Regis, in a two seater Battista, got rich off Coke cut with ether & a ton of reefer, now they get rich selling magazines putting our crimes in the Don Diva, fraudulent schemers got the Queen of England sucking , double penetrating Serena, Naomi, & Venus, got 16 & 17 year old's buying Dodge Hell Cats & Demons, at the wedding she wanted Maxwell & The Weekend, in a jumbo jet landing in New Zealand, it was a crime how this country was conquered, natives tricked out their land, Africans enslaved by Europeans, they designed Jesus, how you paint a picture & you aint never seen him, made 80 million off of a hundred Visa, got more expensive pictures & better looking es on my wall than Mona Lisa, they hit Al Capone with tax evasion, Donald Trump aint paid taxes in a hundred seasons, them Gambino's built Vegas, laundering capital through the MGM Grand & Caesars, these judges taking bribes while these lawyers getting rich off of felonies & misdemeanors, local dope boys got Barber Shops, Tire Shops, & Dry Cleaners, look how richer the rap game got after they killed our two most lyrical geniuses, Bush & Reagan committed a treacherous treason, then declared a war on its own American people, that 14 percent that they considered unequal, read the constitution, that lethal, the indigenous people of this country they put up borders to keep them out & if they enter they call them illegal, the whole Criminal Justice System illegal, Presidents & Politicians stealing & committing several crimes, but never losing their freedom, they say crime don't pay, I aint glorifying , but it do for certain people.
Look at Bush & Reagan,
Trump & Biden, all got rich
off crime, two dead but
the other two will never
lose their freedom, crime
pays just for certain people
college boulevard
college hamburgers
college dry cleaners
college day care center
college café
college laundromat.
I have a feeling we are close to the college I say.
My husband has no idea, watching the road like he is.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners window, “Drop your trousers here”
But they get lots of curious people with nothing to clean I fear
Takes all kinds it seems
Making up the world's scene
But this takes the cake or maybe I just misheard
In a Bangkok dry cleaners window, “Drop your trousers here”
But they get lots of curious people with nothing to clean I fear
Takes all kinds it seems
Making up the world's scene
But this takes the cake or maybe I just mishearded