Best Doctoring Poems
My mother thinks I'm a doctor
I just don't have the guts
To tell her I spent all my college doe
On beer, wine, women and such
So after I faked my graduation
Said I was moving to the South
To help the less fortunate among us
Another lie I let slip out
I'm now in the south of Florida
Where some may call me a bum
Living in a citrus grove along the coast
Not answering to anyone
It's really not such a bad life
This do nothing life I've made
I hear my Moms proud of me at afternoon tea
Telling the girls of all the lives I save
I do my share of dumpster diving
That's where I got the idea
Behind a real doctors office one day
With some of their stationary I nabbed
I did a little doctoring
After all I do play one in Moms mind
Doesn't look to lame where I inserted my name
Then wrote my Mom about the kids and the wife
I've created such an elaborate charade
It's now gotten all out of hand
As I panhandle my way up and down
The Sunshine states surf and sand
Mom now says she wants to visit
Can't wait to meet the wife and kids
Don't know how I let it get this crazy
And how it all lead up to this
Now I'm scrambling to find a vacant house and a woman
With a couple of kids that look just like me
That can go along with a ruse for a week in mid-June
Since I told her that's when I'd be free
I'm thinking I should of studied in college
Instead of being this mind numbing huckster
Telling lie after deepening lie
Just so my Mother would think I'm a doctor
Happiness reigns but not when it rains
Strange language, this english, it's hard to explain
A doctor can save your life
Doctoring the truth leads to strife
So if you don't know english, it's a strain on the brain
Thelma Leeson.......
is in a nursing home, dementia will take her,
and I will recite this at her funeral.
Thelma Jane was a Leeson and she was premmie born
Size of a sauce bottle to a tent her tiny form
Oh thy bathed her in olive oil, good for her premmy skin
And mother Eva said to Tom no tent for it’s a sin!
Because she needed better care Jane Tattam took her in
Jane and Morry they were childless, second Mum and Dad did grin
May,1930 the ninth, was when she came to earth
Cool day in a rug , snug as a bug, this tiny babies birth
Her parents then lived in a tent for Tom he was a fencing
With Walter, May, and Henry some of the older kids I’ll mention
Little sister Marge arrived, sugar diabetes so grim
Mum Eva did her best to do the doctoring
Thelma would return to Eva and live in the big old tent
But she was used better things a house and all it meant
Marg was in the Warwick hospital, Thelma drove the sulky in
She clung to the reins, but the horse knew the way there and back again
At school in the forties two Soldiers did walk in
One asked for Fay and Thelma, just brother Walter tall and slim
Nervous Thelma took em to see Tom and Eva at home
Eva said it’s your brother, he’s been a Droving on his own
Thelma would become a nurse, but first she worked in a store
Aunt Jane didn’t like the hair clips in Thelma’s hair she saw
It was in Toowoomba forbidden clips were then a sin
Aunty Jane she made the rules, and Thelma wore em thin .
Thelma was a great Nurse with a timid gentle humor
Prince Alfred in old Sydney, and Mt Olivet would groom her
Michael Lalor of the Irish had captured Thelma’s heart
And Mary arrived a love child, right from the very start.
Then Michael he was called away the lord had taken him
Mary married in the church of Michaels christening….Ireland..
Thelma loved the wedding place, in old Ireland lovely crowd
Mary is her father's daughter, Thelma was so very proud
We always laughed with Thelma for at parties she would cook
At cousin Nell’s the Great Grandkids ate her cakes and sometimes chook
We all miss our lovely Thelma, it’s sad she goes away
But written on the mist of time is Thelma this I say…..Don Johnson
A much loved lady....
Now back to the question of being a cowboy. I think I’ll try another way. I’ll
compare the job I do to his. Doesn’t that sound like a laugh? I cook for the family,
hired hands, branding and shipping and various cattle work too. Billy kept the
cattle and horses fed, wells working, ice chopped and tanks full the year round.
I’d doctor when accidents or illnesses occur. Billy was an obstetrician, and
pediatrician too. Delivering or doctoring he’d see them through. A veterinary for
cattle and horses in all but emergency cases. I keep our house and bunkhouse
clean. Billy keeps pens in the barn and sheds clean and full of dry bedding. He
keeps the horse stalls mucked out and clean. And of course there is always the
shop. Now lets see I do minor repairs around the house and yard. Billy’s job
includes, keeping tractors, haying equipment and feeding equipment in perfect
working condition. And the windmills going ’round all year long. I go for groceries
and supplies I need for meals and laundry too. Billy plants and harvests the
groceries. For example prairie hay, alfalfa hay, oats and cane and feeds
nutritional supplies like cake, salt and minerals. Where do I go from here? I
know! I do the washing! Drat, he is always washing something when he does the
mechanic work.
Morning has come
To this hamlet in the hills,
They have an internationally funded hospital
(Net of ‘inflation’ artistry in contractors’ bills).
Lady Macbeth, rinse your hands,
You will nurse in the hospital now.
The Companies have this experimental drug
For schizophrenics.
They want guinea pigs--
So go out on a marketing campaign,
Harvest schizophrenics.
Its like picking mushrooms from grassy slopes,
The poison ones to be sifted and chosen,
Only the poison ones.
Where better than this unmapped here?
Document the dementia,
(They were demented with hunger anyway),
Along with your Indian expert trained in Austria,
(Who is incidentally doctoring your bills
Eminent doctor that he is).
Frontiers of medicine will be tamed,
Do not count the dead
In this charge of the Light Brigade,
Suburban America does not want to know.
*Image of Philanthropist by Pixabay.
Shark-Thropists
Loan Shark
treacherous jeopardous
sponging laundering doctoring
endowments championships extortioner shylock
fundraising equilibrating compensating
charitable magnanimous
Philanthropist
2022 August 13
Happiness reigns but not when it rains
Strange language, this english, it's hard to explain
A doctor can save your life
Doctoring the truth leads to strife
So if you don't know english, it's a strain on the brain
in a state of chill
i am lost in a world long lost
revisiting here for a few days is like my heart skipping rocks in a hot tub
my mind is in a sauna of contentment
my soul is on a wraparound deck overlooking lake whatchamacallit
chocolate covered paradise
vanilla based effervescence
the cherry on top is the peaceful breeze doctoring my tested sanity
my body temperature is back to balanced
in a state of chill
The Shoodbe-Wouldbe,Tobe-gottabe, Wannabees
By M. Griswold
11252021
Lush and moist are those Shoodbe-Wouldbees.
Sticky with choice is the Tobe-Gottabees.
Mix them together just so and what do you have.
A Shoodbe-Wouldbe-Tobe-Gottabee's quick healing salve.
Tobe used in extreme cases of sour quotations.
Doctoring them smartly of major vocal palpitations.
Butbe very careful when conjuring this talkative paste.
If concocted incorrectly, many a reverberations you will taste.
Let mebe straight and get right to the point here.
For I need tobe perfectly, perfectly, absolutly clear.
If to many Shoodbe-Wouldbees' are thrown into the mix.
And if one to many Tobe-Gottabe's are added, what happens next?
Maybe bunches of Shoodbe-Wouldbe-Tobe-Gottabee's that just tuned into Wannabees!
Whew....Then believe you me, you don't wanna see.
All those Shoodbe-Wouldbe-Tobe-Gottabee -Wannabees' run'n amuck.
Better duck your head or else you’ll get struck in all that Wannabee guck.
Wannabee guck is not lush nor moist to the touch.
It stinks to high heavens and is crusty, pretty much.
So make sure your mixtures are added up just right.
Cause there's already to many Wannabes' run'n around tonight.
Arrigo
Arrigo of the rusty knife ,
Got bad headaches , saw things, strife,
Asked a mystic man could he ,
Tell Arrigo what was to be,
Arrigo just asked why?
Dr Fritz spirit would occupy,
Do some doctoring, bye n bye,
Arrigo in trance would be,
Dr. Fritz would set cancer free,
And you didn’t die.
Dr. Fritz died in World War One,
to Brazil, he chose to come,
Saw untimely death, was there,
came the spirit helper, rare,
Rip the cancer from your body,
Cut it out, and painless there,
Bloodless almost operation,
Healing quick, no infection, yeah,
Arrigo operated daily without rest,
And if he took time away,
Headaches visions, they returned,
Back to work the only way,
All this happened in the fifties,
Arrigo saw the black crucifix
Knew the lord would take him swiftly,
Car accident, left us crossed the styx,
Brazil has mourned the loss.
Don Johnson
Dancing was my favorite pastime.
On the dancing floor
I would clog, and I would shimmy
till my feet were sore.
But one day my dancing ended.
I've myself to blame.
Here's the story of my failure
and my deepest shame.
Through a park I once was running:
heading to a dance
when I saw an odd, disheveled,
creepy man by chance.
"Boy ahoy!" exclaimed the stranger,
"help a weary bloke.
I'm alone, I'm lost, I'm hungry
and completely broke!"
"Lost and hungry!" I retorted.
"No skin off my back.
I'm off to do the samba.
See you later, Jack!"
Then I turned around and darted
through the rustling trees.
Soon I joined the other dancers
with my usual ease.
Oh, you should have seen me leaping,
flying through the air!
In my mind was joyous motion —
not a single care.
So I twisted, danced the limbo,
did the bunny hop.
But when all the music ended…
I just couldn't stop!
'Twas as if my legs were moving
to a silent tune.
I kept hoping that this frenzy
would be over soon.
But despite my desperate yearning
for a well-earned break
There was something in my body
that I couldn't shake.
I began to cry and holler,
even tried to pray.
So somebody called a doctor
who came right away.
But his doctoring did nothing
to arrest my fit.
A syringe with tranquilizer
didn't help one bit.
The police arrived and promptly
tried to stop me too.
They put handcuffs on my ankles,
yet it wouldn't do.
Even though the cuffs were made of
very sturdy steel,
they were snapped in but a second
by my hellish reel.
Then four firemen tried water
to put out my shame.
All that liquid would have conquered
a volcano's flame.
In the end the other dancers
stood there soaking wet
while I kept on twitching madly
to my deep regret.
Cont'd in Magic Dance: Part 2
Toxic State - Survival
My brain strains to know a challenge-
A mystery to solve, a frontier to cross,
An equation to untangle...ANY ambition to
Know any purpose of any being..
But my aged body cannot follow... its demands
For food and rest and doctoring are a brain's fulltime
occupation...no time for slack or serious play.
Alive.. still alive..the brain fights for its own
survival first of all
12/09/2016
Learned Latest About Trump
About Trump were allowed to learn the latest;
Gargantuan, gorgeous and also the greatest;
Adores agragarians,
And loves librarians;
Has become hard to digest and we do detest.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Doctor of Limericks, DOL
I do love creating and doctoring
up limericks.
In the sameness of a day.
Reaching to far can lose your way.
In one blink of the future lost.
You learn the devastating cost.
You pick yourself up off the floor.
Not knowing what is now in store.
The give and take has come to roost.
The devils game has now been loosed.
The shades of dreams begin to change.
And yet somehow joyfully strange.
The avenue's have become narrow.
As hope seems lost deep in the marrow.
You do your best to meet the test.
As you play your cards close to the vest.
Not knowing what the dealer dealt.
And not quite sure just what you felt.
Sometimes it's not easily clear.
Of what I say and what you hear.
There's reasons why things stay obscure.
While waiting if there is a cure.
You count your blessings like never before.
While also knowing you can't keep score.
In the game of life it's how you play.
With no account if you go or stay.
Eight months ago I had the ladder go out from under me on the basement stairs and I had an awful fall. In pursuing doctoring, I had labs that came back with a high psa level of over 100. Anything over 4 is time to check things out. I was referred to urology and had a prostate biopsy that indicated stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer which had gotten into the bone and a little bit in the lymph system. I have done 6 chemo treatments and am presently in a 3 month recovery period before my next labs and oncology consult. I just wanted to give some insight to the verses in this poem. Cancer is not something I like to tell people I have, but felt it would bring some viable sense to the poem.
They were the oddest family and they ate no normal things
Before doctoring them up with metal, oil, and whatever nature brings.
Cottage cheese could not be eaten without a little bit of sequins blue.
How did they swallow those sharp bits, some a different hue?
The daughter dipped her French fries in chocolate cake batter,
Son ate so many thing made of copper, his teeth were all a smatter.
The father ate a bit of wet cat food on his sandwiches with glee.
Why the mother ran away from the family is a mystery to me