Best Dirty Old Man Poems

Wotcha doin alookin at me dat way?
I can see you old enough an you wanna play.
Well let me tell ya sistah I may be a senior mistah
But I still know how to play.

Baby.     I'ma dirty old man.
A Dirty old man. 
I'm...

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When traveling among the throng
His thoughts have too often gone wrong
Alluring effects
Of the opposite sex
Have the devil stomping his prong...

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This dirty old man wrote a poem.
It was an ode to lovers.
He sang a song
that glorified adulterers.

And when his rhyme was done
there was a thunderous applause
from everyone.
People seemed to get
what he was talkin' 'bout
Since many in that room
had tip toed out
with someone who did not
belong...

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There's so many chickies walking round on the loose
I dribble and drool like a silly old goose
The older I become
The more luscious their bums
Sure would like to fondle and paddle their caboose


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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A lecherous man from Milan
Will ogle whenever he can
The shorter the skirt
The more he will flirt
Guess he’s just a dirty old man!

15th June 2015...

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Sometimes I feel like a dirty old man
All I can think of is cuties when I scan
But I'm innocent by heck
Natural as breathing I suspect
Turning my crank and exposing my minivan


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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I'm full of poop I am I am
Tried being serious but don't think I can
Tried every trick
It's not my schtick
Guess I'll continue being a dirty old man


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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There was an old man from Derby
Who begged me to sit on his knee
The speed of his rise
Took me by surprise
No wonder he’s looking guilty!

Inspired by a comment I saw from Viv Wigley where the poet had used the traditional opening line of a limerick...

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His name was Charles Bukowski,
but he liked to go by the name of Hank.
He was a dirty old man,
who wrote poems
and did poetry readings
that paid him next to nothing.
With a wine bottle in his hand
a pack of cigarettes in the other,
with a half burnt cigarette...

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Sometimes I feel like a dirty old man
All I can think of is cuties when I scan
But I'm innocent by heck
Natural as breathing I suspect
Turning my crank and exposing my minivan...

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He sits in the park and feeds all the birds,
And watches the children at play,
An old man of eighty, he sits all alone,
Remembering a time in his day,

When he was a boy, just playing around,
Making fun of a man on a bench,
Who was feeding the...

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I once knew of a dirty old man.
His way of living—I didn't understand. 

To the altar, many times he cried.
You wouldn't believe the things he tried. 

His involvement with sex became an addiction.
He began to raise quite a suspicion. 

His wife he once loved
was now...

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The Dirty Old Man... 

I once knew of a dirty old man.
His way of living—I didn't understand. 
To the altar, many times he cried.
You wouldn't believe the things he tried. 

His involvement with sex became an addiction.
He began to raise quite a suspicion. 

His wife...

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A dirty old man 
Some call me wrongly because 
I am still breathing 

A dirty old man 
I will be until the day 
They lower me down 

A dirty old man 
Jealous of my successes 
Have no humor left 

A dirty old man 
What could...

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