Best Dental Poems

My dentist’s such a sadistic guy
No injection, I emit a cry
Open mouthed at his bill
Pain is much worse until
Quite slyly I knee him in his fly!

1/10/19...

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I went to the dentist
It had been awhile
Yet after much drilling
Followed by filling
The bills heaped in a pile

He said come twice a year
Or try to make it three
Brush three times a day
And floss the right way
And maybe just maybe

You’ll be a dental star
Which sounded bizarre
But...

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A Dental Alliteration

Both bearable breakable bicuspids became beautiful 
by being blatantly brushed by me.

How is that for an alliteration? You don't have a
category for dental.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran...

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Once upon a time recently
To dentist went confidently
He gave huge novacaine
Suppose to ease my pain
To my heart went incidently

The dentist chiseled tooth away
I didn't want to play rest of day
The morning after~Oh! well
I'll just say, upon pain did dwell  
But money to him still...

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(21st century pearly white prosthetics,
restored jaw bar wah key) 

Aye noel hunger bristle,
and when false teeth soak at night 
     in tandem with stubby facial gristle
har reckon noah kisses
 
     far me under mistle
toe, which prickly stubble...

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I had a cavity, but they took it away, put holes in my head and metal and spray.

They took my wisdom teeth and left holes in my head if it gets infected then I’m as good as dead.

And although I have pristine dental health, ...

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Here's a tangled    thready    mass of dental floss
Glued on some canvas board with gesso
Each layer of the spider's snare dyed a different color
One layer dried    then    layered o'er another
Oh    the...

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A tiger tooth puller named Keith
Growled, Donkey I must check your teeth
Donkey started to bray
Saying, "Don’t block my way
I’m needing urgent pain relief"!
...

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My Dental Horn Haiku

Swing and Sway with Tooth Decay (Sammy Kaye)

we would swing and sway
had heard about tooth decay
was to our dismay

do need dental care
at mouth she started to stare
teeth beyond compare

did have his consent
would know what my dentist meant
cavities prevent

we found a fable
dentist lives...

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so much precious existence 
found me rooted with mouth ajar 
as sigh asper the dentin-cementum 
so mud dear reader (with dem perfect 
enameled pearly whites), aye har bar 
envy for those with a complete set 

of eight incisors, four cuspids (i.e. canines), 
eight bicuspids, and...

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Eat a poppy bagel
And you’d sure be at a loss
If you did not have access to
A string of dental floss.

Toothpicks aren’t strong enough
To dig out all the seeds.
Dental floss, in mint or plain,
Is what a person needs.

You can tell the flossers
From the dental-flosser-nots;
The latter group,...

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Anxiety
Sitting in the chair 
Hope they work with care 
Anything to numb the pain 
Fear driving insane 

Numbness 
Novocain takes effect 
From my fear it will protect 
Now with relaxation 
I feel no sensation 

Comfort
They treat me so nice 
Definitely worth the price 
Excited to...

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Dental Dream

After death, to whom will I want to bequeath
Each and everyone of my beautiful teeth
And after I just have completed a phone in
Someone said to store them in the Smithsonian.

Had another great idea when I got out of bed
How about showing in dentist office...

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In the middle of the room stood the white metal chair
   Designed to deliver the best dental care,
But she stood there immobile, unable to move 
   Toward the object of torture that was likely to prove
To be frightful, exhausting and life...

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There once was an old geezer named bob
who loved to munch on corn on the cob
but since he wore false teeth
kernels got underneath
and so he'd turn them down with a sob.


Sitting on the can he read an add
touting a brand new fancy doodad 
so he...

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