Best Delivery Poems
Expectant fathers will often pace
Until nurse invites them into
A bright delivery suite
To see their baby born;
Before they see birth
Of their newborn,
Some are out
Cold on
Floor.
Soon,
Revived
Father acts
Like all is well,
Soon, is eagerly
Passing out souvenirs
Announcing their fatherhood
Like they did all of the hard work
Bringing new baby into the world!
June 11, 2021
Dedicated to my fourth great-grandchild!
Categories:
delivery, baby, birth, endurance, father,
Form:
Nonet
Yes we don’t give a toss,
If your package is lost,
That’s logistics,
If it’s broken or bent,
Or has multiple dents,
That’s logistics,
If it’s fragile and breaks,
It was not our mistake,
That’s logistics,
Well you were not at home,
So we sent it to Rome,
That’s logistics!
So incredibly late,
That it’s gone out of date,
That’s logistics,
We don’t know where it went,
Are you sure it was sent?
That’s logistics,
Your parcels we’ll stash,
But we’ll still take your cash,
That’s logistics,
What an item on time?!
Oh no wait, it’s not mine,
That’s logistics!
Categories:
delivery, business, funny, parody, song-
Form:
Lyric
Sketch and Freak
Drag and Jonez
Waste life left
Scared to speak
brittle bones.
Categories:
delivery, absence, abuse, addiction, dark,
Form:
List
This is something that cannot be denied:
If there is a torrential rain or a blizzard outside,
most people telephone for a pizza delivery.
Those conditions exacerbate the job’s drudgery.
Those are the times when most people make the call.
It seems like the phone keeps ringing off the wall.
Delivery drivers have to brave the conditions outside.
It’s enough to make them want to run off and hide.
That is what to expect from the general humanity.
Those selfish and thoughtless people show no mercy.
They also complain if there is a late delivery.
As Julius Caesar said to Brutus: “Et tu, Brute?”
Categories:
delivery, business, work,
Form:
Rhyme
It's an eternal arrangement
Every week or two I have promised to send him some chocolate
Nothing fancy-just a thought from me to him
Just to let him know that I am on board with our destiny
We will be forever friends
Chocolate has medicinal properties too you know
It melts your heart and keeps us on the same page
Best friends forever so more chocolate I will send!
It's sorta like storing up brownie points for the future you could say!
By the time I get to heaven I should have sent him one ton of chocolate
And a gym membership!
Gwendolen Rix
11-22-14
Categories:
delivery, best friend, blessing, chocolate,
Form:
Free verse
I was born with this name
A name that cannot be moved.
Through my struggles and through my pain
These shackles I shall remove.
Dignified in all my ways
Eminent proven that can't be replaced.
I am a true man of virtue
That cannot be measured by time or space.
I'm a Star of my own
Reflecting the rays of my thrown.
Magnificent and Majestic
In the land of milk and honey, I am the backbone.
Often misunderstood,
Confound and misconstrued.
Even in contempt of their judgement
My adulation infatuation will remain intact for my brood!
My love is undenying
Everlasting and undying.
Unreplaceable, indestructible
My fable inspires that transcends to be noble.
The King of my castle
A fraction define from a point of a decimal
Denoting in the tenth power
That represents the commandments of my counsel.
In translation...
I'm a man unrecognized by his emotions
Yet his word's expression
Forms a principle which defines in connotation.
My concentration
Concerns to adjourn any iniquitous Interpretation.
Adjudicated as if uneducated
Yet their mind's unable to define the intonation of my elucidation.
So therefore there's no question!
That I am...A son reflected by his own creation.
In his own reflection
My third eye indicates the gift of this phenomenal articulation.
So as my motivation
My delivery will continue to build in its meticulous manifestation.
A man that will man up
To whom, I will claim to recognize his own dejected aberration.
Categories:
delivery, inspiration, inspirational, introspection,
Form:
Acrostic
It’s when you don't have
the money for a hit man.
And you know something
needs to be done.
If you have a hot date
and your boss asked you
to work late.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass!
The whoop ass delivery Service,
We will deliver a can of whup ass
anywhere to anyone at any time
day or night,
if there wrong or right,
in any kind of weather.
Call and ask about
the wet ass whupping
for no extra charge.
For someone who needs
there Ass handed to them
Thee old fashion way.
Let us do that for you.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
On your request,
we can leave them
on their feet
or laying on the ground.
We can deliver a can of whup ass
in public or when no one's around.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
or we will tear that ass up.
If a loved one
doesn’t know how come home,
or people who get smart
with you on the phone.
Hang up and dial...
1-800 Whoop that ass.
The Whoop ass delivery Service
let’s you choose one of three sizes,
Small, (This is going to hurt)
Medium, (We're going to break something.)
and the Large. (Put them in the Hospital)
Each package comes with fightback insurance.
Just in case the subject’s tries to fight back
In which case
we will beat the snot out them.
Ladies if you want
to keep your abusive husband in line,
then keep us in mind.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
Ladies our slap happy option
comes as a back-hand service.
Where at you request.
we can just slap the piss
out of them.
slap the taste out they mouth.
Or even slap them clean
into next week.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
And men we don't discriminate,
we can return the favor for a nominal fee.
We will slap people on both sides
of the family tree.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
We take Visa, Master card, and American Express.
But don't let credit problems get in the way!
You can even put an Ass Whooping on Lay-away.
Find us online at any time. @WhoopthatAss.com
Copyright ISBN-13 978-19781188973
ISBN-10 197811897TX
Categories:
delivery, funny, funny love, hilarious,
Form:
Free verse
He comes every day
Sometimes he knocks on my Door.
Delivery for you UPS
Sometimes its the same person
other times not.
And still he calls Delivery for you UPS
I wonder when I don't see him what he does
Just deliver packages all
Since I have no deliveries today Shame
Miss that call Delivery for you UPS
Categories:
delivery, beautiful, heart, how i
Form:
Free verse
A huge pregnant young lady named Jill
Bungee jumped for a bit of a thrill
When her baby flew out
Jill did scream and then shout
'Now there’s two to walk back down the hill!'
Fiction write for limerick contest
Sponsored by Cecelia Hopkins-Drewer
06-03-17
Categories:
delivery, birth, funny, humorous, silly,
Form:
Limerick
the death of me late
the very dream of your time
how do you find one?
Categories:
delivery, art,
Form:
Haiku
Today
I made the grocery list
For delivery.
The breads, the turkey
Slices, and ham, the lettuce
For salad
Which led to discussing tomatoes;
The yogurt, milk, cream;
peanut butter; tissues even,
But, oh confound!
I forgot cake!
How do I forgive myself that?
————————————————————-
(c) sally young Eslinger 3/14/21
Categories:
delivery, food, forgiveness, funny, me,
Form:
Free verse
The milkman delivers milk.
The postman delivers post.
I deliver fear.
Cos I'm a f@*#ing ghost.
Categories:
delivery, fun, funny, humor,
Form:
Free verse
An allotted announcement;
Ben’s brother balances
Carefully, carrying containers
Designated “Dogma Delivery.”
Eventually, everyone
Finds frog-gy feelings for
Generously generated
Hair-raising hijinks.
Incoherent ideas incur.
Jeremiah jumps, jolting,
Kicking kleptomaniacs,
Lashing lawlessness.
Money monkeys make
Notorious nincompoops.
Obscure obligations often
Poisons pathetic passion!
Quarantining qualified
Representatives,
Shrivels support,
Transforming truth-
Unilaterally, unfairly
Vexing vicariously.
While we want
Xanadu,
Yokels yield
Zion’s zenith
Categories:
delivery, confusion, life, political
Form:
ABC
The day I born my pride,
I was a jackass ;when nursing him,
I was a plague ; today he flies about,
All calls me mother of Nation.
Smile in pain of delivery,
Rejoice in tackling problem;
The ovulation of congratulation,
Deeps its roots in both.
When yolks dare eagles’ beaks, they
Grow combs and crow; they prune their
Breasts and bristle up their wings,but
Rot is the egg in brood which for fear
Of eagles’claws weeps not to be a chick.
Categories:
delivery, change, happiness, hope,
Form:
Free verse
Fossil
Frozen, ancient
Hiding, resting, waiting
All buried things will one day see light again
Growing, cracking, emerging
Final, orgasmic
Rebirth
Categories:
delivery, birth, death, deep, remember,
Form:
Diamante