Best Condiment Poems

salt says hi to the sugar
Who’s in love with the pepper
Who’s the one who left the mustard
Who misses the ketchup
Whose kicks come from the hot sauce
Who truly loves the salt...

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Had lunch at a hamburger joint today
Charged 50 cents extra for mayo, eyes became blazed
Jaw dropped, I gasped
Said, “stuff it up your ass”
It's a damn condiment, are you serious, it left me dazed...

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Condiments are used a lot
Especially when it is hot
BBQ and picnics see
Different ones for you and me
Ketchup is so red and sweet
Like your smile--a special treat
Mustard's yellow like a daisy
A pretty smell that drives me crazy
Like the perfume I can smell
Always making my heart swell
Mayonnaise is so thick and white
Like your love that holds me...

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Had lunch at a hamburger joint today
Charged 50 cents extra for mayo, eyes became glazed
Jaw dropped, I gasped
Said, “stuff it up your ass”
It's a damn condiment, are you serious, it left me dazed...

Continue reading...

Yellow Mustard joined Olive Oil
At the motel, Blue Cheese Lagoon
Afraid he was much too anxious
Because she said he came to soon!

But he then knew what was ado
His cousin Dijon was more quick
Yellow Mustard was disappointed
Unaware Olive Oil was so slick

But the other condiments knew
They didn't need a measuring cup
They said it was in front of...

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Split pickle, sliced pickle, crisp pickle, knife
All in the jar planning the night of their life

Paul pokes a pinky in, eyeing his snack,
But this time the gherkins decide to fight back

They jump out and land with a splash and a splurt,
Wielding the knife, but no one gets hurt

The stunned little boy retreats to the den
And...

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Winter’s expense
salt crafted chug holes
mis-align my wheels;
the auto-wash has gone
up another fifty cents
during COVID
and I fell on the icy steps.

Salty white skim coats
the roadways;
two inches of solid ice
and a five mile per hour drive
to the grocery
has taken two hours.

No, I don’t think
my soup needs that
condiment today...
now, where did I put the garlic?


3-10-2021
SALT Poetry Contest
Anthony Biaanco...

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needing to catch
up on all you
did and do
all day
when
i'm

a signalless cellphone
wanting connection
yet told network
not available
so i give an
f ing 

beep bleeped by poetry
soup sipping dunked
deep in the shallow
waters of the gene
puddle speaking
without reading

fundamentalists
that ain't very
fun to be
with be
cause
they

only believe in what
simply what but
not who or the
words they
never nor
ever 

even read and yet
cast the first
proverbial
stone
only
to

find that...

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