Best Competence Poems
everything’s complicated
everything’s a struggle
have you noticed?
it’s a psychological horror
is this the ‘adult disillusionment’ I keep hearing about?
I mean, things work, if you sit on them like an egg—
If your mother things along and helicopter a result.
I mean, what do people do who don't have my resources and sunny disposition?
I get America’s increasing paranoia but I think that it's ass backwards. Even if someone's were out to ‘get’ you, no one actually cares about doing their job anymore. There's just so little competence around, that the dysfunction feels intentional. And because you need something and you’re helpless, you can't help but feel targeted.
But I think I figured it out, so let me elucidate—they aren't giving YOU bad service, it isn't personal—everyone is getting bad service, two pieces of chicken when you ordered three, five day delivery when you’re clearly paying for two, failure’s become routine—endemic.
My go-to phrase has become, “What’ll it cost?” (the answer, usually: twice as much) “Make it so,” I say, swiping something with my Apple Watch, and suddenly, everything works!
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A song for this:
decide to be happy by MisterWives
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My ex-navy stepfather always says, “Make it so,” it’s an old navy phrase that means, ‘proceed’
...I was working construction jobs,
there was a big job for the trains,
to replace an old viaduct
that shook in the wind and the rain.
The government gave money and
put strings on it, that’s what they do,
wanted to ensure diversity
in the engineers and the crew.
They especially wanted women,
to boost their numbers up in STEM,
problem was when we went looking
we had much trouble finding them.
The best ones were hired already,
and not many women remained,
but they scraped together a team,
only one had worked on a train.
for two years there was much planning.
I heard rumblings from above,
consultants said things were amiss,
the design was not strong enough.
Even rumors design reviews
were ignored to not seem sexist,
but most figured it sour grapes,
there’s no way the state would do this.
We built the bridge that they designed,
laid tracks so the trains could fly by,
there was a ceremony when
it opened with a great train ride.
And for four months things seemed allright,
trains went by without a mistake,
until a strut snapped in high wind,
causing a central truss to break
just as a commuter train came,
it fell to the valley below,
investigators went out there,
the reason they wanted to know.
They found bolts that were much too short,
and metal that was much too thin,
foundations not set deep enough
to resist much in gusting wing.
And then began the whole scandal,
when leaks from the state did reveal
reviews rushed through, oversight lax,
they knew there were flaws in the steel.
But politics are politics
when it comes to choosing who works,
sure, ninety-seven people died,
but at least their deaths were diverse.
Hey demons, you can't conquer me
Chaos is away now
It's the light that shines
Inculcate this,that you are gonna be No more.
It's not a war
There are no bloodsheds
It's just the expulsion,all of a sudden
Get ready to be smothered to ashes.
To the moon and back,here comes power
And these notions are not froths
It's the steel from the test of fire
That's gonna vanish you.
Here is me,to abstain you from victory
The occult waves are ready
Today it's a beginning
For thousands to unburden them from you.
Trump Lacks in Competence
Looks like Trump lacks in competence;
All the results on us has been intense;
Lost his way;
Did go astray,
While we determined that he is dense.
Jim Horn
When things don't work, I panic
I call the plumber or the mechanic
the electrician, or appliance repairman
without them I would despair, Man.
I can't fix my bike when it blows a tire
To be competent is a dream to which I aspire
But I was born all thumbs, and though I read tomes
When it comes to troubleshooting, I'm no Sherlock Holmes.
So I respect the people who make things work
But I wonder if in our government such people lurk.
Could politicians change a light bulb, fix a car?
splice a broken wire, get my bike to go far?
Could I trust my mayor as a babysitter
Or for that matter, a sweater knitter?
Can a college student clean a dorm?
Are mindless slogans the new norm?
When the power goes out, and it gets cold
Will we find a bill of goods that we've been sold?
Do we use the same criteria to trust an orator
That we do when hiring someone to wallpaper a corridor?
My Dad was told I'd make a good soldier, because I looked strong
My Dad winced and said "Sir, you got that wrong"
Maybe I could be a writer, or maybe wash the floor
Can someone shoe me how to mop? for help I must implore.
A heavy sigh leaves me
As the quiet night shrouds my thoughts
I think to myself
Like a matchstick
Shining so bright
But not for long
Words to describe my behavior
A spark at first, only to be doused the wind
Even if not on purpose
The intensity gone
The thrill turned to smoke
I love everything yet love nothing
I admire the way and works of the world
Ideas cover my mind like an artwork
Though I see to no action
My spirit willing
My flesh weak
In chase of competence
I dress my self in the inconvenience
Of my actions
Though hurting
I turn a blind eye knowing what it costs me
" You have something going for you"
What exactly?
I am not complete
My fortress a glass box; Yet I hope for coverage.
Doubt is within
My stubborn nature acting as an armor
What do you think?