Best Clams Poems
Echelon; let’s take a quick stop at my favorite restaurant.
I feel a little funny.
I need food in my tummy.
I have not much money, but my tummy is empty.
Waiter, get me some peas and a glass of tea with plenty of honey.
The waiter asked while he went past,
Would you like clams or ham and cheese with your tea and peas?
Decisions, decisions, which one of these shall I have?
I do like them both.
Maybe, I should have clams and a half or ham and cheese.
My aunt Chalant makes the best ham and cheese.
Clams make me sneeze, ill at ease not a disease.
Gee weez!
Shall I get on my knees?
Please! Bring my tea and peas.
What shall I do?
I have not much money, but my tummy is empty.
Should I have clams and sneeze, or shall I have ham and cheese, or shall I have both a troth.
Decisions, decisions, shall I just have tea and peas?
4/13/2017
It started out as a mild itch
Within the next few hours, my eyes began to twitch
So I go to a Doctor named Damon Willis
He examines me and asks me have I heard of country singer named Mel Tillis
I tell ye and ask why such an odd question he had to ask
Then he asks me do I drink Brandy and if so, is it from a flask
I tell him alcohol is not one of my disabilities
He says I am just trying to narrow down the possibilities
Then he asks did I recently eat Poppy Seed Bread with Strawberry Jam while
listening to Georse Michaels or his former group Wham
I was stunned and said yes, he replied you have contracted The Clams
He writes out a prescription for a cream
Then he tells me I must brush my teeth with the toothpaste Gleem
Then he says twice a year I must bathe in the waters of the Hoover Dam
I know now which of my honies gave me the clams
It was Phyllis who made this combination possible to set in this affliction
To eat the Poppy Seed Bread with Strawberry Jam has become and addiction
So I use some of my inheritance from my parents will
To pay this Doctor the medical bill
After I paid it he disappeared, it was all a scam
To find out there was no such thing as the clams
So now I am sitting and waiting for illegals to cross the border
So I can charge our Government to diagnose this disorder
I charge a huge bill as I feed these illegals some Dristan
Most of them have the crabs already, but I will be happy to give them the clams
Eating Clams
Should I go to my grave doing latest rave?
Or be a nice guy and myself do behave
And if writing poems is what it will be
They will be given to Poetry Soup for free.
Recently, returned to some of my old haunts
Which were made before the renaissance
Period of time when everything was changing
Reformation occurred and minds were re-arranging.
I always would know from the very start
Even though we may be many miles apart
There would be something about my writing style
Challenging you and putting your mind on trial.
On other side of hill grass often was greener
And could find me with all of my great demeanor
A poem desperately trying to write each day
Will send you to see what you have to say.
If you were one who called me a so and so
And my poems on you never started to grow
How was I to know that much later in life
I still would be married to my beautiful wife.
Next door neighbors both had hardly waited
Then together our anniversary celebrated
Read my poem drinking beer out of a cup
They calmly listened but kept clamming up.
Clams were of various sizes and steamed
while others were baked and cooked. Next
thing will be Clam Linguini. Wow!!!
James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran
If you are going to attempt a waltz in a spotty teapot costume complete with a lid then do remember not to partake in tea drinking beforehand because the liquid might ruin the material and thus render the authenticity of the costume. People then would not quite believe that the waltz was going to be preformed by a tea pot for the fabric would be unsuitable to maintain an act. Acts admirably administer admirable and administrative actions. And a duty bound club of a chosen cup formation is now passing down the streets of the towns to clink and wave their handles at passers-by. And passers-by are neither Portarlington polestars pulsating, pink pine poles picking pogos. And neither are they decagonal in diameter. Disc like then. Good. Spin spin spin. Great. An electrical elephant prancing in a printed gown with a pointy hat. A peanut is very very inebriated and fell off a cushion. Left angled mirror equals four wheels driving to a dunk. Xxxxx authentication z z znz at thirty six hollering hula hooping hummus humps to twenty one beef cutlets in tight trousers. Z
Form:
On Saturday, the L A Rams
Encountered the Monterey Clams
With no and, if, or but
It was open and shut
The Sopranos limped home like lambs!
Clams on parade go salty down
Slip into comas in throats of oceans
Land on floor beds blanketed in mud
In love with the mighty waves above
Lights on the shore, lights from stars
Reflect memories back to sea
Once more before the storm is formed
Of what is to become of shells not found
Is left unanswered
Somewhere below the clouds out loud
Between muffled sounds of thunder
Happy clams alarmed by nothing
Anchored by one foot in mud’s reality
Begin another day of freedom beneath
What of the fantastic ships at salty sea?
Raise the colors to the wind boys!
Churn with the waves towards shore
Crash on rocks to swallow them whole
Sell your souls below before you turn old
Voices lift higher to fill in the hour
Before the songs end in the mist
The power of dawn cracks open
Breaks like an egg in need of fire
Evaporates with the days arrival
Drink in the moment of the dive
So much salt can’t be wrong
Familiar with sand, shells become wise
Stand erect in tides to savor the depths
Suck up the flavor of the day
Currently under investigation by muscles
Too deep to measure as they contemplate
Restraints imposed on them by nature
Gray mouths close tightly in a smile
Clams hold on with one foot in reality
Anchored, shell shocked by tidal wilds
Must we wait for oyster logic
Pressure sets in when air’s depleted
Mud is soft and cloudy under there
Gathering objects in the dark
Can make it easy to forget
Oxygen is needed to catch your breath
To catch a clam you must use sense
Surely there is a compass in the sand
Stationed on terrains still under way
Clams parade oblivious to the obvious
Sounds are heard from up above
Only waves know the meaning
Above, the sea is distorted by light
Below, deep in thought, oceans nap
Clams begin to dance as mollusks
Crustaceans dwell within their boundaries
Debating whether mollusks should have feet
They do this frequently without sleep
Give away your socks
Give away your Victory nickel
To the folks of Shambala.
Give away three kittens
At the candy store
In downtown Shambala.
Eat at Larry's Clambake
By the coffee shed
On the road to Shambala.
Climb a monkey tree
Steal a bluebird's eggs
In the woods of Shambala.
Clams on parade go salty down
Slip into comas oceans
Before the waves come in as awkward
Shells crash on rocks awakening
Before the dawn they are alarmed
Drink in the moments fathomed
Investigate the currents of their ways
Those familiar with sand will understand
Clams stand erect at greater depths
Too deep to measure as they contemplate
Restraints imposed on them by muscles
Clamped mouths roll out tongues that fade
Closed tightly in smiles of tidal wonder
Clams hold on with one foot dangling
Granite works that way
Anchored to reality
Shell shock is all they’ve got
Must we wait for oyster logic?
Pressure sets in when air’s depleted
Mud is soft to the touch beneath
And cloudy when under tons of seas
Gathering objects in the dark
Can make it easy to forget
Oxygen is needed to catch your breath
Stationed on terrains already under way
Hard gray armies hang in unison
Oblivious to sights above the waves
Obviously sounds are drowned or muffled
Above, birds come to pry clams free
Not to set them free but crack them open
Interested only in sustenance for the day
To loose them from the rocks
To drop them from on high and call it lunch
The ocean waves goodbye in deep reflection
As the sound of salty friends go down
Seas become deep in thought
But not deep enough for clams protection
What's all this about, why are we here
Time's much too short till we all disappear
We're having so much fun
Many challenges to be won
We're happy as clams, year after year
Assuming clams are happy?