Best Chaw Poems

You get to a point where 
you can’t read them anymore
and consider yourself a grown-up.

But it wasn’t until I was fifty-two 
that I threw them away. 

How long could they hide
in a high school brief case
next to a box of sweaters 
in the attic?

So…into the...

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Night's grassy fields furrowed beneath starry bait,
calls us to cast ourselves upon the straw,
above the Pointillist's daubs spark a hungry slate
to entice our soul while we chew our chaw.

Where we render ourselves like straw
we skew limbs and mimic far-off Orion,
enflame our heart while we chew...

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Grandpa and his kin gathered at the mill,
“It’s n’uther thanksgiving, y’all! Eat yer fill!
Hey cuzz Joe Bob, what’s the deal?
Whose turkey did y’all steal?”
What turkey? Y’all be chompin on road kill!

Yes siree y’all might have to chaw some,
But this barbequed swill be awesome!
Be a shame...

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Chocolate Molten Cake dessert for two
Layered Devil's Food Cake fluffy and rich
In the center chocolate oozes through

Frozen vanilla ice cream does the trick
A little to cleanse the palate of sweet
Warm chocolate syrup which can bewitch  

Not on my diet, for a taste did cheat
A...

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The ol' saddle warn't much to look at but it was all Buck could afford.
He paid Billy five bucks fer it when Billy died and loped to his eternal reward!
The saddle fit his hoss Dan like an ol' shoe and sat Buck's buttocks mighty well!
Fer...

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You think you enjoy the radical,
flaming in the gas jets of astral fumes, 
spinning in the ocular midnight of a rabid dogs dream,
yet, I think you know, NOTHING is as it seems.

An all too thorough pondering
of mundane thought comes to naught
as vulgar words don’t necessarily...

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When strollin' by the ol' saloon,
on chairs they kept outside,
I spied a dried up, lonsome sort
folks walked by, but eyed.

He had a faithful doggie
with head laid on his knee.
The ol' man stroked him softly, 
kind, devotedly.

I stopped an' took a seat nearby,
then shared a cut...

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Slim was pigeon-toed and bow-legged from allus bein' astraddle,
Of his faithful hoss Old Dan and his well-worn creakin' saddle!
He'd spent 30 years gazin' twixt Old Dan's ears ridin' the spread.
Now both is retired and he took up writin' cowboy poetry instead!

On the porch of the...

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When auld friends meet,
To chaw and waste,
And barmaid brings,
The Lad's the taste.

The more the taste,
The more the waste,
And under breath, the wives will curse when call for grace.
But wives agreed.  They took the vows.
And grace can wait on hearth and stone,
Til' Lads' be done...

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Cowboy Howdy the Clown still goes
To town with ten little shoes on his toes
Purple hair and a square blue nose
Ten grey flowers for Cimarron Rose
An itty bitty teeny weeny cowboy hat 
Vaquero chaps and a little dogies tat
A plug of chaw and a lariat
Two six-shooters...

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Silent sage and chaparral
Gather ‘round the old corral,
Like the cowhands way back then
When the Old West did begin.

Too soon gone are all the days
Of the cowboy and his ways—
He’ll be herdin’ now no more
Like he did in times before.

He’ll soon sell his saddle, too—
Thinkin’ now...

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I am the link to the god all mighty 
The grand master of this world
Dollar marks and social security carts

I am the warrior of this waste
The revelator of the word made to taste
The most high, the conduit to creation
The grand motivator
 
I shake your money...

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Whatever Happened To Glasnost And Perestroika?

Hobbit those characters who lived 
within the realm 
of John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
as far removed as
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
upon squelched cusp of progressivism,
now most likely 
experience bitterness at the autocracy
of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Impossible mission to believe
amidst audacity, atrocity, egocentricity,...

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There’s been a lot of speculatin’
‘Bout the cologne some cowboys wear,
And the toothpaste and the sweet mouthwash
And the way he combs his long hair!

I’s here to clear up the confusion
‘Bout these gallant ol’ equine gents—
And tell ya the gall dern ol’ stark truth,
That will make...

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Whatever Happened To Glasnost And Perestroika?

Hobbit those characters who lived 
within the realm 
of John Ronald Reuel Tolkien
as far removed as
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
upon squelched cusp of progressivism,
now most likely 
experience bitterness at the autocracy
of Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Permafrost of the cold war thawed 
when...

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