Best Catsup Poems

Ordering a 'Mustard-and-Catsup'
  I was ever-so-rudely refused

  Not a happy camper at all ~
      'Dog-on-it,' I mused...

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    when accused of blither-blather
      seek shelter in the moment, rather
    than plunge right in confrontationally
      into a bottomless pit of calumny

    remember to count to...

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Henry Heinz made ketchup
(First called catsup) long ago,
Plus a host of other products - 
Some you'd be surprised to know.

On a train in New York City,
Henry saw an ad for shoes;
There were 21 styles mentioned,
Quite a catchy lure to use.

Since he sold a lot of...

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For Vienna, by request.

Something has gone terribly wrong in my garden today,
My tomatoes are all growling at me with big teeth on display.

And when I investigated I got a big surprise,
‘Cause they were staring back at me with big round bulging eyes.

Then they started to...

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THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY

This is all I have to say
Catsup on the garden hose
Too small bifocal's on your nose
A checker board this more than square
A faint pink blue ribbon in her hair
A dog  that wags it's tail so variously
A new born...

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She wouldn't want to bore ya,
but there's something about Nora.

Things physical, not audi
fly away from her body,

Fail to nail the counter, 
hit the deck all around her-- 

A zillion spills to mop up:
coffee grinds, egg shells, & catsup.

"Magnificent Uncoordinated 
Movements," an old boyfriend said,

In and...

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I want a sassafras root beer soda
my head on Mount Rushmore South Dakota
I want a brand new pair of brown shoes
get my name on a brand of booze
wouldn't you

I want to live in a mega palace
cram Fort Worth into Dallas
I want to eat Chicago pizza...

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Please listen to ALL options
before just picking the first heard
as our lengthening menu evolves
at director Dogbert's whim - 
if you feel scorn, think of him,
feel truly despised - maybe again

For unwarranted unwanted ad campaigns
press zero to hear the menu again

If you wish to feed our...

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Be sure to put on your sense of humor caps
and think about this one for a long while.

Why No Wine

Had eaten a hamburger I did embellish;
With cucumber, catsup and some relish
Then somewhere found my mind in a fog
Forgot about buying bun with a hot dog.

Drink...

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My three minute egg in boiling water,
Seventeen for hard-boiled, according to Julia,
Or fried in bacon grease for the trip to eternity
Two jaundiced eyes on my father's chipped plate,
Or butter for scrambled then cover 'em with catsup;
No resemblance here to the Faberge eggs
Covered with diamonds, rubies...

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Jesus Was No Stranger

To difficulty Jesus was no stranger;
Horse did bit him while in manager;
Never corrupt;
Grew up abrupt;
Turned table on a money changer.

Jim Horn

Group Did Begin Grieving

What a group did was to begin grieving;
Then many memories started retrieving;
Remember forever,
And forget never;
Their soul and spirit still...

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In U.S. municipalities
we have Survivalists
and Thrivalists,
Revivalists
and Liberated Rapturists,
AggressiveRisk Addicts
and MultiCultural WinWin Escapists
into monoculturing WinLose Cocoon Closets.

Survivalist addicts
often show up at Town Council
and School Board meetings
fueled by alcohol
speaking Either This Yang Wins!
or that alien green ecofeminist Yin
best lose.

Those escaping to thrive
with PositivEnergy's
strong polycultural health outcomes,
polypathic wealth...

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When I encounter
GoldenRule shadows
of opportunity
to reduce sinister internal and external health risks,
like my bipolar daughter
yelling "IDIOT!" at me
while feeling up the watermelons
at StopNShop
TilYouDrop

Embracing red-faced shadows
feeling a Fool for tolerating such defiantly public abuse,
acclimating to her maligning
would-be terrorist
knife-searching ways
of RightBrain projecting
while transferring oppositional LeftBrain
deep learning competitions

My...

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Old Man At The Diner
 

He slaughters his hamburger steak
with a fork and a butter knife,
massacres ringlets of onions
again and again
 
thumps catsup all over
the bloody commingling,
then ever so slowly
peppers and salts
 
and reminds me of Hrebic,
whose wife, back
on the block of my youth,
sat all...

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8 CUPS OF STALE BREAD- TOASTED AND CUBED
3 CUPS OF COOKED BROWN RICE
2 CUP OF MUSTARD GREENS, DRAINED AND CHOPPED FINE
2 CUPS OF ONIONS CHOPPED
1/4 CUP OF GARLIC CRUSHED
3 CUPS OF COOKED HAMHOCK MEAT DICED FINE
1/2 CUP OF CHOPPED ROSEMARY
1/4 CUP OF CHOPPED THYME
1 CUP...

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