Best Catered Poems
On holidays I want a meal
That’s home-made through and through,
Composed from all the recipes
My mom and grandmas knew;
The preparations lovingly
Created in the kitchen
(Although, to be quite honest,
There might be a little *****in’).
The shopping, chopping, mixing, blending
All become a part
Of memories of days gone by
That live within the heart.
It sure would be a lot less work,
Luxurious, indeed,
To have a caterer drop by
With all the food you need.
Yet what I’d miss the most would be,
Though not in terms of taste,
Ingredients intangible,
Not easily replaced.
Our long time catered chef...
prepared a meal fit for (psst... me) a king
Actually professional cook
(trained since infancy)
long a staple of our family
since... oh way before
my bubba's zayda's time
naturally became (according
to rules of primogeniture)
the feudal rule by
which whole real estate
of intestate passed
to eldest son, i.e. yours truly
automatically included:
aide de camp, chambermaid,
essential frisson gourmet hotelier,
lion tamer, jack of all trades.
Thus surprise meal of
mid/late afternoon May 17th, 2080
constituted: gluten free pasta
(celiac raged rampant
one generation to the next),
vegan cheese, V8 juice,
diced onions and garlic,
and steeped with special
ingredient – namely tlc,
not available anywhere
but, just enough
tender loving care to buzzfeed
the whole mishpacha,
which gathered from far and wide
every Sunday afternoon
since Moses parted the Red Sea.
How glorious to feast upon:
delicious smelling than tasting,
humongous apportioned
splendiferous concoction
conglomeration ofttimes referred
to as popslop,
which general household name
lacks culinary delicacy,
and honorary specificity.
The meal made manifold more appreciative
after a hard day's night sleeping
within an ornate bedchamber
comprising our lofty abode
upon groggily awakening each morning,
I betook sweeping view
out uppermost bay window
pleasant view of Schwenksville proper,
(which I accomplished
with flying colors
eight days a week)
experiencing vibrant dreams constituting
living social the life of Riley.
After adequately supping on repast
which if any leftovers got repurposed
for next sumptuous meal,
either one prepared later that same day,
or come the morrow promised taste buds
to experience out of this (Martian) world
another savory experience fit for none other
than king of schnorrers!
Contrary to popular belief
hen pecking mother goose,
nor her ilk of coterie of four
and twenty blackbirds
purportedly baked in a pie
completely groundless supposition
crust a stale rumor
circulating courtesy deluxe
twenty first century technological
and ecological (of course)
invidious rumor mill.
Trump bombed Iran, a war he did start
Now he tries to get peace on the chart
While hedging their bets
Iran issued threats
So Trump hid in a catering cart
Legato she knows me
To which both the sky
and earth shall make
The day beautiful for
her arrival.
Remembering to put
Garlic oil in the repellent
And to add garlic to the
Cheesy spread.
A perfection is what they
we're aiming for.
------------------------------
To make decadent chocolate truffles infused with truffle oil
, heat 1 cup of heavy cream plus a pinch of cayeene pepper
until hot, pour it over
1 pound of chopped dark chocolate, 1/4 cup of chopped black walnuts
and let it sit for 5 minutes. Stir until smooth, mix in 2 teaspoons of
white or black truffle oil, chill the ganache until firm,
roll into balls, and dust with cocoa powder
Not cause it's dump
Not cause it's stupid
It pointless and loveless
Blame it on Cupid
It ain't centered
It lacks sentiment
Get what I am saying
Even if it's not want I meant
Theres ah new way of loving
The one you thinkin of and
See what you are saying
And we aren't playing
E'ry one knows it's us
You and I
Love and lust
Ooh be-doo-bee auh ooh!
Let you kiss me when you see me
We can doo- dottil around
You be the serious one
Let me be the clown
Next time we meet
We'll spent precious time
Together
What ever it is
Whatever the weather
Pling told Pling , plung, plung
The strings were tense
And strung
The words were reversed
What came next was
Put first
Love was I am singing
Love the joy this sound
Is bringing!