Best Break Wind Poems

Variations on the Malay Pantun : The Old Man and the Short Story - X -XII - Continued

  for Georges VOISSET, the "Master Keeper-Nurturer" of the Malay Pantun

(The pantun line varies between 8 and 12 syllables and is most commonly found in the ...

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There once lived a woman called Lady-de Leisure, who turned not to men, but food for 
pleasure.
She ate everything spicy and sticky and sweet, the poor lady could not even see her poor 
feet. From dusk until dawn, all she would do was eat, drink,...

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Pardon me sir, but did you not just break wind?
Pardon me sir, but don't you feel a bit chagrined?

Pardon me sir, but I deem your faux pas mighty gross!
Pardon me sir, but you've left me feeling a bit morose!

Pardon me sir, but on this bus...

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There once was a poet named Charlie,
          Who loved to break wind with his Harley;
          His fans almost choked,
        ...

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A Precept Limerick

Precept versus concepts in one’s writing,
Alone, concepts remain__  problems fighting!
  Thus these are the two levels,
  Concepts have not love’s bevel.
Precept is above the problems gliding.

Thus Love’s precept of one’s own opinion, 
Promotes one from being chief’s Indian.
  Problems...

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Now the razamataz is over
Looks like Trump is next in line.
If he does what he is proclaiming
Everything will be just fine

If like his name*
He is full of hot air like a deflating balloon
Then “God Bless America” comes to mind
Not just America we’re sure to find.

Must...

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At work it was slack- not much to do,
The boss was out on the prowl. 
We have to look busy no matter what
His face was all of a scowl.

I had the misfortune to pick up a paper
A paper someone bought for their break,
The boss he...

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What in H*ll is that smell
Is it coming from your tail
It is worst than a skunk
 cought in a trunk
It's not cool to break wind in school
If you do  don't claim it
It is not a prize that you will find
When everbody gives you a...

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He has talent first seen as delinquency
That has given him fame, perhaps infamy
When he’s mad or chagrined
He’s inclined to break wind 
With a sound like a Beethoven symphony...

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I knew a young man from Crewe
Who's favorite meal was a stew
Though he became chagrined
As he'd often break wind
And sometimes would follow through.

His wife cried you are obscene
And the noise is causing a scene
For after eating prunes
He could fart in tune
To the anthem God save...

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How shall I begin,
we say we're not a couple,
but we had been living together 
since I don't know when.
Why I can tell you how the day will go 
by the way she breaks wind.
Now I'll say good morning, 
no matter which end of her speaks...

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(1) The Catch

Her little face fell:
Gentle hands caught it
And restored it 
To its proper place
With a kiss upon
Each chubby cheek



(2) An Observation On Good Manners

It is not considered acceptable
To break wind 
In polite society

Therefore

I don't mix 
With polite society
And fart to my heart's content

In my...

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‘Old Spice’ and wet grass carry years 
of understanding between us.
What I wear and you gather into you,
become a language neither of us know,
but comprehend in mouse-tracks of deduction.
 
You read grease and engine oil, as if grease and engine oil
were two parts of a...

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Inspired by my Friend Jan Allison
(A one ring circus)

The Flying Flatulences   
Watch if you dare
They like to break wind
While they fly through the air 
No effort at all
As they flutter with ease
Letting lose, then clinging
As if on trapeze 
I might say you lie...

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Rapping music is a crack
In my behind where the wind blows
Country is all I know
Rock makes me want to hit my toes
Easylisten is where my mind lets loose
Rap makes me break wind like a goose
Music is for the soul to relax
After rap my body is...

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