My Friend With Privileges

How shall I begin, we say we're not a couple, but we had been living together since I don't know when. Why I can tell you how the day will go by the way she breaks wind. Now I'll say good morning, no matter which end of her speaks first. She'll excuse herself and run off to the bathroom, for some water and the medication in her purse. Being a man, I'll at least open a window, and wonder which end of her is more intelligent. You see with me She doesn't waste any time speaking her mind, So, as a gentleman. I only listen to the end that wears lipstick. Now I've been told that a lady, doesn’t fart or break wind, they either poot, pass gas or lose their manners. But if you ask me it all smells the same. As she walks around making her little musical sounds. It has the added side effect of us not needing an exterminator. As a man, blessed with a poor since of smell. My need to ventilate the room as you can tell, is more to for the health of my house plants. Who are at this moment trying to jump out the window. Now don’t get me wrong, she is a lovely woman. Her figure and grace I will describe as poetry in motion. She moves with a carefree coordination that would make you a fan of her ability to walk and chew bubble gum. It’s like Wrigley’s invented chewing gum just for her.