Best Blitzed Poems
Santa Claus was bellowing, things were wacked,
the giant red sleigh was packed,
the reindeer weren't harnessed up,
he stomped in the snow, broke his cocoa cup.
Suddenly, there in the far end of the barn,
what he saw caused alarm,
Rudolph was playing poker,
he was blitzed, being a joker.
Santa's face was beet red,
"Rudolph, get harnessed for the sled!"
Well, Rudolph was lit up in the wrong way,
and slurred his words to disrespectfully say.
"Hey Santa, I'm not freezing my jingle bells,
in the sky tonight, I'm in a drunken spell,"
Morty, the klutzy moose was at the barn door,
"Santa, my fellow moose and I will get you off the floor!"
And, by golly, they took the sleigh into the night,
a team of moose led by Morty's benevolent might,
Christmas Eve was saved,
and Rudolph and his team were in shame.
Santa forgave them in a few days,
because they began to go to AA,
and, in the following New Year,
they were once again Santa's favorite reindeer!
Categories:
blitzed, celebration, christmas, forgiveness, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
"Placebo - Part 1"
Deals with God?
I don’t think that is possible.
Depends what cards you’re playing with
and what the trade off is
do you bluff? or
play it safe and lose all your tricks?
Let’s talk about SIN,
it sounds delicious
but once swallowed
it comes out just like everything else.
The thing with Sin is,
it’s a bit like diarrhoea,
depends what you’ve taken in
and how much has tainted you
pathologically, i.e.
Virus, Bacteria, Parasite?
A little diarrhoea, with the right prescription
easily blitzed.
If it’s totally infiltrated your bloodstream,
well, you're cactus really.
It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
I call that, with regards to Sin -
Divine intervention.
For a severe case as that,
you would be required to be kept out of reach
and monitored on a daily basis, away from
passing on the contagion to anyone else.
If you’re locked up in a small room
and the toilet paper rations run out -
it can get real messy.
Particularly if your room mate’s in
Prison Greens, is twice the size of you
and a Psychopath with a propensity
for knocking your head into the wall
whenever you ignore him
and while he’s at it, takes the opportunity
to rub himself up against you – he’s
marking his territory….
and well, you’re at that point where
you’re thinking,
“Do I bluff? Or play it safe and lose all my tricks?”
At that moment, it’s a safe bet
you’ve lost all your tricks.
And you’re thinking,
“This ain’t Protective Custody,
where’s God in all of this?”
(Lovejoy-Burrton/2017 Dec)
Categories:
blitzed, addiction, child, child abuse,
Form:
Free verse
Clanging and bashing
The kitchen's in use
Daughters craving treats
Allowed on the loose.
Flour, sugar, butter
All over the floor
Dusting the ceiling
Spread thru the drawers.
Seeking seclusion
Mum heads to the mall
Dad's not so enthused
He’s taken the fall!
Vanilla smells waft
Blitzed cake mix atoll
Now one eggs rotten
Phew! Missed the whole bowl.
Mixing all finished
Into the oven
Fast rising ignited
By the witch coven.
Ginormous cupcakes
Rest plump on the bench
Waiting so silent
For icing frost drench.
Now bizarre colours
Created in leagues
Designs are invented
Intending intrigue.
Red nose drawn upon
Superfluous clowns
Green, orange, purple
Even some browns.
Goblins and gremlins
Haggard old fairies
Wombles and warlocks
Yellow canaries.
Dad for his patience
Gets the first taste
His fluttering eyes
Say he wasn’t quite braced!
Smiling so sweetly
He says they taste nice.
When truly he wants
Some hard drink on ice!
Cupcakes were vital
Baking so easy
Except for the clean
Now the kids feel quite queasy.
Categories:
blitzed, adventure, children, fun, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
aimless and blind
I wasted my youth
left friendship behind
in search of the truth
no wiser but sadder
ah,but that never mattered
'cause then I met you
I did my hitch
sowed my wild oats
I burned all my bridges
and sunk all my boats
while the rats had all scattered
ah,but none of that mattered
'cause then I met you
yeah when I met you
you pulled me through
you gave me a clue
when I so didn't know what to do
blitzed on the booze
fresh out of hope
I had nothing to lose
at the end of my rope
I was mad as a hatter
the fact of the matter-
but then I met you
yeah then I met you
and then I met you!
Categories:
blitzed, dedicationme,
Form:
Lyric
Happy. Genial. Merry. Jolly
Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed
Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy
Tipsy. Tiddly. Brahms and Liszt
Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied
Ganted, gubbed, guttered
Bladdered, blathered, leathered, plastered,
Sozzled, sloshed, scuttered
Hammered, battered, caned, mangled
Spannered, mullered. Half-cut, lashed
Twisted, warped, slammed, wasted
Wrecked, ruined. Munted, trashed
Liquified, marinated, juiced, sauced,
Steamed, pickled, fried
Cabbaged, mashed, cooked, baked
Boiled, stewed. Pie-eyed
Stinking. Howling. Pole-axed, floored
Under the influence. Off one's woo
Steampigged, badgered, ratted, goosed,
Clobbered. Lairy. Boogaloo
3 sheets to the wind. Away with the fairies
Under the table. Tight as a tick.
Ankled, wellied, trousered, legless,
Bevvied, swizzled, pot-sick.
One over the eight. Out nibbling the grape.
Rosy. Rummy. Poggled.
Jober as a sudge. Laughing at the carpet.
Seeing double. Boggled.
Lubricated, oiled, pixilated, ploughed
Intoxicated, inebriated. On the grog
Wobbly, jungled, off to the races
Lit up, shot down. Cocked as a log
As a lord, as a piper, as a fiddler, as a poet,
As a newt, as a monkey, as a skunk
As a sailor, as a mouse, as a pig, as a fart
Muddled. Fuddled. Or just plain drunk
Words and experiences, many of us share
And I'm sure there's a few that I've missed
But while some get "tired and emotional"
I just prefer to get…
Categories:
blitzed, drink,
Form:
List
I use to be a two fisted drinker,
always getting myself totally blitzed.
Now I'm just a social drinker.
Three drinks and that's it,
because the hangovers I'd experience would linger on for days,
leaving me in a very deep depressed state
and who in their right mind would want to feel that way?
Certainly not me. Good bye hangover days.
Categories:
blitzed, recovery from,
Form:
Rhyme
We wallow in the news of rapacious war,
Glad it is so far away, thank God!
But dare we ask: why do wanton warriors fight?
Like wild wasps out on an ill-fated foray,
sting like hell in the soporific summer sun.
The terrific, fierce fight goes on,
like some wild cat that smells an invader
in its blitzed up tribal territory.
Thunder and earthquakes
as bombs fall on either side
distant rumblings killing prerequisite peace.
A crumbling city deprived of vital hope,
bereft of electricity and nutritious food,
while innocent frightened children
writhe on fragmented pavements
of deserted, stifled streets.
Their fault is they are born
on the wrong side of earth from where arms originate.
The bloody fight goes on and on,
soldiers wildly staring, fearful and bewildered.
Both sides know only one answer:
They fight for fear
but underneath hate reigns supreme.
Categories:
blitzed, war,
Form:
Free verse
SPOONING WITH PARCHED PALMS
a banquet of butterflies flutter ~
by her seaswept hair so bonnie. ~
sunshine and freckles fly free from the sky, ~
illuminating blue eyes, ~
dotting her suntanned skin. ~
a sailboat serenely knocks against the chiseled shore. ~
tartan cloth passionately charmed with cheese and wine. ~
pink blushing beach, a twinkle in his smile wants more. ~
his teeth bright as teeming waves of love’s moon shine. ~
picnic at full thrust ~
naked footprints rake through sand ~
soft music spellbound ~
chantilly lips on blitzed neck ~
seaside spooning with parched palms ~
4/4/2018
It’s All About Four/Sponsor: Broken Wings
Crystalline, Kimo, Quatrain, Tanka forms
Categories:
blitzed, romantic love,
Form:
Verse
God blitzed Sodom & Gomorrah
Including fauna & flora
Putin says, "Me, too!
I am just like you
Blasting that Box of Pandora!"
n.b. after blowing up their home
and family, Russian troops
tell survivors that they have
been liberated from the Nazis!
Categories:
blitzed, god, integrity, truth,
Form:
Limerick
Have you ever needed to go so bad
That your eyeballs start to cross
Your back teeth began to float around
You're memory's a total loss
It happens to us chappies quite a lot
It's the way we usually react
When downing six or so cold ones
Too blitzed for making tracks
We put it off till we almost burst
Afraid to make sudden moves
But finally we chance it and off we go
We're sure glad to get to the loo
Then back we go to drink some more
Eyes are no longer aligned
We end up at somebody else's table
With a different bunch of asinines
We keep on drinking a few more hours
Till we've all had a boatload too much
They kick us out about three A.M.
Babbling in what could have been Dutch!
© Jack Ellison 2012
Categories:
blitzed, funny,
Form:
Quatrain
There's madness in enlightenment,
preferring darkly recesses of denial
whilst moon descends sensibilities,
shedding white powder florescence
fracturing every crack & crevice,
most days long to dwell
in oblivion, remembers it fondly,
before unicorns and monsters
became real and materialized
taunting duskiest memories
always knew in her bones
that something was askew,
fear and breathlessness
a huge part of her psyche,
on the surface she seemed
to have it together but,
her marrow was aware,
as dysfunctional trembled - -
nagging blitzed neurons,
felt its prevailing intrusiveness
a foreboding presence beckoning
in blindingly echoed vocalizations,
long before time even existed
She lives in continuous disorder,
tucked away within her own reflection
chaos extruding every wakeful moment,
powerless to cease mind-boggling adaptations
Categories:
blitzed, allegory, confusion, evil, fear,
Form:
Free verse
Cold air whistles acquainting
me with Arctic Blast, when
roundly forcing acquiescing
into half foursquare corner, activating
most recent spate of
ideal linkedin warm weather
ah...,my favorite sweet
spot for read ding
partially secluded from
gossip mongers addicting
fellow nosy residents,
who rarely brave elements
of style lush nature addressing
natural environment, sans leaving
comfort of their hermetically
sealed apartment adhering
to zero risk exposure
even during pitch
perfect weather adjusting
cessation to renouncing
"cabin fever" administering
most potent panacea
for heavenly solar fling
nay, most every tenant
here at Highland Manor
prefers vicariously admiring
terrestrial flora and
fauna, even when nature
bursts forth with adoring
"The Rite of Spring" adorning
the snapchat buzz zee
flight of the Bumble Bee
the still frozen, yet slowly aerating
rib rock solid state terra
firmae slowly alleviating
thick slabs of iced over terrain
indiscriminately allocating
patch of landscape
legion limitless almsgiving
then as instagram dusk
preempts afternoon alternating
cathartic, fantastic,
and iambic anesthetizing
magic, opportunistic, and therapeutic
reverie blitzed, viz banshee screaming
mother nature's wound
dead spirit expressing
agony dost vent wrath
heartfelt lament vacillates, manifests,
and explodes analogous
qua red bull who readily
didst get smitten angling
to expunge anguishing
cumulative racking torment
hell bent on annihilating
primate responsible species
akin to a silent spring announcing
slow but inexorable annulling
guardian (nee abuser) role usurped
by *****sapiens,
who need answer
for relentlessly antagonizing
writhing, lowing, and bristling
Planet Earth!
Categories:
blitzed, change, creation, earth, health,
Form:
Free verse
I invite you to step in to the terror dome. All that lives here is from the unknown. A blockade of sorts lies awaiting a predestined evil force. An issue of the blame game along with trials and tribulations of the insane. Those with deep dark secrets live with the tortured spirits. Reasons are always unknown but the invite will never be dethroned. Actions become bold as the mighty are torn apart and thrown. Away is the creepiest part of a changing heart. Go and be free with all the righteous sinful nature beasts. Further and further, then one step away from tainted beliefs.
Nobody’s screams are told as good as the mortified. Beat up and rugged from the lifeless bliss a trend is crucified. This is all forced upon thoughts from those beat up with deaths fist. A nature versus nurture issued game becomes blitzed. Among the dyeing are those relying on an nonreligious feast of hammered lies and deceit? Full of heinous nature crimes starts a ticking bomb inside. Getting away with a blood red murderous tag instead of taking that prison bus ride.
Sneaky dispositions are now put on a given betrayal of those with the hidden unknown. The cover is blown, and he is now to atone. All of those days and nights spend thinking of ways to sabotage alone. Was it all a plane to dethrone? A little birdy now speaks as the man’s thoughts get a predestined malignant thought. The room is spinning as the formulated minds are caught. The authoritative way gives pressure as the crown hits the ground. A mystery is at large as the hound. A stylish secretive motto lingers around. Raw featured memories take hold. This will not be the day his dignity is sold. The plot profoundly never told. The story hit the streets as the days grew cold. A hero was made on the wintery scheming day. He stuck to the rules and had nothing to say.
Categories:
blitzed, addiction, anxiety, betrayal, death,
Form:
ABC
Ignorance is bliss.
So you want to keep me in igorance
Keep me in a mist
So when I get paid
I get blitzed
So you want to keep me in ignorance
I am of no importance
Daily ways, daily trance
Battered, exposed, no utterance
So you want to keep me in ignorance
My root now my branches
My head detached
My soul departed
You eat the food
I plant the grain
And we repeat this
Time and time again
So they keep us in ignorance
Not knowing which part to play
No ways, no means, no guidace
Strife, heartache, pestilence
Once you learn to know
Another seed will grow
Branches bearing the harvest
With a future of certainty
Clearing clouds of dubious gaits
Ushering in a new dawn.
Categories:
blitzed, me, metaphor,
Form:
Light Verse
Along a dark and dirty alley under anvil leaden skies,
Flowers on a windowsill would come as a surprise,
And even if the grubby walls had not been blitzed and scarred,
Beauty does not last too long when life is grim and hard,
But in this misery, a splash of gold behind some grimy glass,
An oasis of loveliness, in squalor, if any chanced to pass,
To conjure up this strange scene beneath the darkened skies,
To bring daffodils into poverty cheers one walking by,
Someone in that ugly house that has caught the suns pale gleam,
Someone in that gloomy room had dared to dream a dream,
Someone wiser than they knew, had done a lovely thing,
And brought into that ruined street the magic of the Spring.
Categories:
blitzed, nature, daffodils,
Form:
Classicism