Best Beats Me Poems
A sad state our government has become today
in this awful news that just pushes the boat out further
As our democracy for one protecting our children
Why it is even under attack beats me up inside moral grounds
this should not even be considered under the harshest circumstances
because it's a humane act to love our little ones bless them with life
not kill them shows savages craving suffering judgemental fools
Tells me all that I need to know about corrupt politics
under an non democratically elected leadership
My soul urns for justice and it’s own freedom why is this sh** keep me awake and everything else continuously makes me break I am demonstrating my fake famous traits amazingly entertaining everyone around me they praise me by keeping my life and my name above importance’s and responsibilities. “Wow”, that’s great THANKS for your thoughts of me and about me I guess this will become a memory some day you’ll repeat this to one of your homies. I guess this is some kind of way you are showing some enemy love. Your always talking sh** about someone you don’t even know personally judge me I guess that’s all you even see or heard from some douche bag you met briefly surprised by my drama you rather be Popperazii then even worry about what’s really going on. On the local hometown news station. And really besides that I guess I keep you up at night or maybe it’s your choice in drug use???? Beats me just stay away from me please. I was board today and decided to write this just for all to see. Desperate and cold cruel is what the world turns and shows our lord what he created all of us to be why or how did you even choose this for me? I’m blessed in many ways but what is with my ex you see he’s a never ending STD which I say this cause he gave me twice. And you see he said he has never cheated on me? I know I haven’t ever had time to even pay attention to another man or woman I was always alone and waiting for him to get off work he made good money got paid every week 300 I began to find out this from his family I don’t understand why we are homeless after 8 mouths I told myself it’s time to move on I’m dumb if I stay and waste my big opportunities. He’s cheated on me and still he lied I know better cause I have proof I know I’m not perfect I have had some mistakes too but I can admit mine I’ve told him in the passed that I’ve cheated but you know he didn’t even believe me. He says I’m not a cheater! He’s right I’m not that’s why I had told him before I acted on my actions He’s a back stabber I regret being his ex and friend....
She beats me, and all I do is cry.
She hates me and I wish I wouldn't wake up in the morning,
Did you say mommy issues?
I have those.
Mom: "Cheylenn did you do the dishes?"
Cheylenn: "Yeah, mom!"
Mom: "WELL, YOU DID THEM WRONG!! REDO IT!!"
Cheylenn: "No, I didn't!"
Mom: "You put the plates in the front! You know what I'll do them myself!"
Cheylenn: "Okay!"
Mom: "Get your BUTT out here!! God why did you give me a lazy child!!"
Cheylenn: *Currently making dinner*
"MOM I'M MAKING DINNER!!"
Mom: "Did I ask? Hurry up!!"
Cheylenn: *Sighs*"If this food burns it's your fault!!"
Cheylenn: *Walks to the living room*
"You wanted...me?"
Mom: *Points at the carpet*
Cheylenn: "What's wrong with it?"
Mom: *Proceeds to whack me in my head*
"Don't get smart with me! You see that?!"
Cheylenn: "OW?! SEE WHAT?!
Mom: I am sick and tired of doing everything, the dishes, the laundry, the trash, YOUR sister's diaper, it's too damn much and all I do is ask you to do SOMETHING right for once and you can't even give me that!"
Cheylenn: "I do everything right, I do too DAMN much, YOU DO NOTHING BUT SIT ON YOUR BUTT AND WHINE! THIS IS WHY I WANTED TO LIVE WITH DAD!! I DIDN'T WANT TO MOVE TO AMERICA! YOU MADE ME!!"
Mom: *Proceeds to cry*
"That's how you feel about me? All I wanted was a daughter to love me! And I get this hating little goblin this is why I had another child!!"
She tries to guilt trip me.
And if I don't fall for it, I'm wrong.
You had a mother's love?
Can't relate...
Another day passes yet here I stand
Home is somewhere that my heart can land
Open your eyes and you shall see
Unleash your spirit and learn to be free.
Sometimes the world just beats me down
Everything vanishes and no one’s around
I don’t understand why this happens to me
Seeing then understanding seems to be key.
Now that my heart knows where to go
Only one thing I shall need to know
Today will pass regardless of what I do
Another step closer to understanding what’s true.
Home is a place where your heart feels safe
One step closer to reaching this place
Many words are spoken yet few are heard
Everyone knows home is more than a word.
I lay here, unarmed, and vulnerable to the damage that has been done. I want to cry, I can cry and I will.
The feeling of it all, discomforts me, hypnotizes me, leaves me wondering; who have I got left? I think and the answer terrifies me, shakes me; how come? I have no one.
These breaths, they puzzle me, how do I breathe for nothing? No one?
And yet so eagerly, I look up for better things, brighter beginnings, but the thought ends, will I truly be happy? Can something powerful enough in the days ahead of me give me comfort? Bring me peace?
Yes I have been fooled, betrayed several times now. I have figured out my flaws; I trust too much, love too much, and forgive. I don’t know why but I seem to refuse giving up this false matter, false clinging to this object, idea, or spirit, named “Hope”.
Yes it beats me up, yes I have been slain, slaughtered, and shattered; in the walls of denial, and query I was trapped, destined to taste suffer, with the eyes of mine I did see, moments, and events that slaughtered me like ice and fire, those eyes of mine, show me things I don’t wish to see, they slaughter me, although part of me, organs of my being, they still do. In the times where I thought I was strong, in times where I thought hope would save me, now it shatters me in the presence of all thy people, makes me its slave by clinging to it, begging for mercy, for chances, and for that I am weak. They all thought I was strong, unbreakable, but now everything proves them wrong; I do break..
These tears I thought will cleanse me, purify, and strengthen me, but now whenever I do cry; those tears are just like whips that drain out my strength, deteriorate my goals, and terrorize my dreams, and so I abandon them..
On my knees, Lord, and with hands raised
I pray I need you, oh how I need you today.
My heart is broken, my strength is gone,
I am desperate for love only you can provide,
and the song only you can sing to my soul.
I'm begging Lord fill my cup, make me whole.
This world tells me I'll never be enough,
the world beats me, breaks me, tears me down.
Without you, I lose the battle within;
I lose myself and the will to carry on.
I ask you, Lord, for the courage to rise above
with hope and a new perspective.
With you, all things are possible.
Your goodness and love follow me everyday.
You are my fortress when I need protection,
my refuge when I need to feel safe.
All that I am and all that I have,
I lay at your feet. Please bring me peace...
You make all things work together
for my good because you love me.
Please, do not let me fall, give me new life.
On my knees, Lord, and with hands raised,
I pray I need you, oh how I need you today.
Thoughts in my head that no one can see
Monsters in my room, how did they come to be?
The lights are on, but for some reason it's still dark
no one can see my invisible scars
People can't see it so they don't believe it
A ton of invisible scars that I bleed with
When I fly off the handle, you'll say I should have talked and opened that door
But when I talk about my mental health, it's something you ignore
I'm being bullied by a mental illness called Depression
I'm being laughed at by anxiety
I'm trying to provide answers for the hundreds of questions
In a room full of noise, I stand in the corner quietly
Hands sweating when I'm in public
I don't like strangers getting close
I've been stabbed in the back by people I hugged with
Lost in a lot of pain but I'm still trying to find hope
I made plans to go out, but I don't have the strength to leave my bed
Depression beats me down so much I can't get it out of my head
I'm trying to be stronger but I feel weak
plus anytime I fight back its still me who bleeds
Mental health is ignored because people can't see it
We get ignored when we talk about it, that's why we keep it a secret
The lights are on but for some reason it's still dark
We're trying our best when we deal with our invisible scars
Teach me how to cry
So that when it hurts I may be able to untangle what pain lies between the angles of my arteries
I want to excrete what is obsolete
To pave way for the exit of that which makes me incomplete
I want,
To never hold on to what could have been
Or what I imagine with crippling confusion may somehow... become
Rid me - of inexplicable intrusion
The kind where I can not comprehend
how a piece of entice consumes my insides only for it to shrivel up and die before my inner eye coincides with my mind to make sense of why the though of it was so intense
Give me the wisdom to reject pretence
Let all that is not meant to be leave me
Fill me with the kind of something it takes to embrace what is real, even when my perfectly constructed fantasies are hot on its heals
Give me strength
To no longer just inhale to survive
Teach me how to breathe so that I may find release on those days when even a sigh is out of reach
Share with me what women were given to thrive on those days when the heaviest clouds burdened skies and it seemed,
That even heaven had fallen deaf to her desperate pleas for a little bit of sunshine
Hand me, my generous dose of what its take to make women smile on those days when the knives in their chests pierced the very place where they're faith was set to emerge
Where, the pain was so fierce that each time they heaved they're bitter tears were met with a lukewarm sorry at best
And when my heart is left in pieces
Guide my soul to where His peace is
I pray for my dreams to never shut their eyes or hide
I pray that nothing ever beats me cos I never tried
I pray that I find truth where reality lies
That I may learn to sift through the dirt and discover, what little bit of bliss is mine
Tell them I did it
Tell them when possibility was no longer revered I was the one who pushed beyond fear
Tell them that I will dream until the oceans reject the streams
Tell them I did it
Tell them I dreamed
Women who drink and sex
It was in Livorno and it was a cold January night when I met her
in a bar- where else does one meet women, in the salvation army?
What she was doing in Livorno beats me as she was an American
woman far from home, I was there waiting for my ship to come in.
We were both drinkers and felt empathy for one another and when
the bar closed she came to my hotel. In the morning, I had a shower,
she was still asleep woke and asked what I was doing in her room
I told her it was my hotel room she cried; worked for the consulate.
We had breakfast, but she needed a drink to feel normal. Saw her go
into a taxi looking like an efficient functionary going to work, I knew
she could not keep it up the day of estimation was near, she left
a hundred dollar bill on my pillow I was both offended and pleased,
being a low paid seaman, my silence would be absolute. If she wrote
a book about this encounter I will somehow get the blame hinting
darkly she had been abused by me. But this is not true what the lady
long for is not being able to make love with abandonment and blame
it on the booze.
No matter where I look
No matter how hard I pray
No matter my urgency and its drive...
I cannot find a job...
I'm pained by the agony of suffering
for hope... faith beats me...
perseverance is growing winded
and despair is as familiar as a smile
And I continue on like this
as the seconds only bring me closer to more nothingness
and I sit in the chair of discouragement and rub my head for comfort
You see, I lie to myself and tell myself I'm happy and feel this lie
so I don't have to wade in depression of the truth of how low I am...
by poverty and its constraints... and its consumption of my entirety...
and I beg God for help...I beg you now again God I can't go
on like this much longer...
(the next day I got a job!!!! Ha!)
What’s the Hurry?
Why it’s called “Rush Hour” surely beats me
‘Cause there won ’t be any rushing for an hour or three
There’s a solid mass of steel from ramp to overpass
With thousands of vehicles wasting gallons of gas
We’re trapped like rats in our metal cocoons
Moving ten feet since half past noon
My mood varies when I’m forced to idle
From clinical depression to suicidal
In front of me there’s a truck loaded with cattle
Going who knows where, perhaps to Seattle
In all this hot air, by the time they get there
Those cows are likely to be medium rare
To my left, there’s a truck from United Van Lines
Moving someone’s furniture, brand new and fine
Across the country over deserts and peaks
By the time of arrival, they’ll be antiques
To my right is a hearse carrying a coffin
The driver is blowing his horn quite often
Hard to figure why he needs to worry
‘Cause his passenger isn’t in much of a hurry
Through my real view mirror, there’s an armored truck
The driver no doubt hauling millions of bucks
If he doesn’t reach the bank while he’s still alive
It’s likely those tens will be worth only five
So what do you do if you want to make time?
While you’re still a young person in your prime
All you must do is exit your garage door
On a Sunday morning between three and four
My brother,
Preston Jacob Simon.
The one who played catch with me in the past,
The guy who throws the ball extremely fast.
My brother,
The guy who graduated in 2006,
Guess what college he goes ahead and picks.
My brother,
UNLV is where he has been,
Although he graduated from there in 2010.
My brother,
The one who got engaged three days later,
He says life in Seattle is so much greater.
My brother,
The guy who used to work at Panera Bread,
His career there is officially dead.
My brother,
He stands tall at 6’3”,
He was the GM of two restaurants with a criminal justice degree.
My brother,
In the restaurant business since age 16,
He’s pretty close to rolling in the green.
My brother,
2012 is his marriage year,
When he first knelt down he was bursting with fear.
My brother,
The dude who told me it wasn’t too late,
To pick up my grades in order to graduate.
My brother,
The guy I haven’t seen in so very long,
The one that always beats me in a game of Ping Pong.
My brother,
He’s always been there and never let me down,
I cry tears of joy when I know he’s in town.
My brother,
The guy who’s an Austin Bulldog at heart,
Travis Tigers rule supreme, where do I even start.
My brother,
We’ve had our moments; we’ve had our days,
We’ve had those times when all we could do is praise.
My brother,
Preston Jacob Simon
for no fault of mine, congenital blindness has been my lot
i never fail to wonder how i look
mum said i'm blond and beautiful
till date what blonde means still beats me
i can only imagine the meaning of beauty
i've learnt to endure the ridicule of people
who only add pain to an already wounded soul
it also hurts when i'm pitied
with my sister-in-law a constant culprit
the clergyman said my handicap is a blessing
that it's good i can’t see a world so sinful
but he failed to reply when i harmlessly asked
if he had ever prayed to lose his vision
my family even consider me a burden
complains and excuses trail my request for whom to guide me
to put an end to my inconsiderate disruption of their movies
they did me the favour of buying a guide dog
the sighted make much fuss over trivialities
can you imagine crying over a missed movie
or threatening suicide if not allowed access to the television
sometimes i itch to know the big deal about television
but television is strictly for those that are blessed with vision
so is tourism, movies and countless others
i long to be a medical doctor
and also to get married and have my own children
but understandably, men refuse to look my way
i'm now used to the bitter truth
dreams and wishes are not for the sightless
my thumbs are always sore ‘cos i love to read
and it hurts too when my siblings yell excitedly
'bout the scenic sights they behold
oh, how i wish for a day of sight
to behold the rainbow, flowers and mother
to see myself and my dear Stevie Wonder
music is therapeutic to my soul
oh, its the best gift to mankind
though the deaf will definitely disagree
have you ever wondered how life will be without hope
but i live without a hope of regaining my sight
while people sleep, i wish for death
but of course wishes are not for the blind
and unlike those cowards i'll never kill myself
i laugh when the sighted complain of penury
or when they make much fuss over needing a wheelchair
i'll gladly exchange conditions with them if given a choice
'cos the sun never rises in the world of the blind
the need for air differentiates the blind from a corpse
however i've got a few consolations
i'll never get to see an ugly sight or a dead man
i'll never see my husband cheat on me
sadly though, that's if i ever get one
Now anger had come to penetrate me, and evil has come to kiss me softly...tension exploded my v***** to squirt waterfalls of mayhem.
I try to close my legs but find that I have been impregnated with a vengeance and her twin disappointment.
I begin to birth vengeance and disappointment into existence and now hungry, they nurse on catastrophe and burp revenge!
Lately, anger seems to be having an affair with me sporadically. As I persist to break up, anger beats me with torture!
I awake from uncertainty and get hit with despair. Now I try to reconcile with such wickedness, too late anxiety forces my hands.
I gasp for air and anger now emerges to propel me into a whirlwind of confusion followed by malignant chaos.
As the end is far from over, my nightmare truly begins as anger passes me like a blunt to atrocious
This whole situation is agonizing, as atrocious has the audacity to use vengeance and disappointment against me.
My blood is boiling with animosity, my rancor behavior is at a point of no return.
I gorgonize from this whole ordeal and feel trapped. I feel like I’m bobbling just to get a deep breath
Suddenly, a familiar spirit arises with resentment and rejection. Both, I’ve known far too long. I try to stand up, weak, but I manage.
Maintaining to hold my head high, anger whispers in my ear, get ready they are coming.
Without hesitation in my present situation, I run! I run as fast as I can. I now am on the floor because anger has tripped me so burden and fear could catch up with me.
I crawl and I crawl to manage in the dark to make it around the corner and find a spot to hide. Devastated and distraught, I finally start to rise from the floor to see demise laughing at me.
This is to the guy that I went out of my way to get noticed by
The one who I trusted, the one who told me lies
The one who made me feel like I was the only one
The one that was through with me when the sex was done.
The one that made me feel like I was impossible to love
The one who called me over when he just wanted to bust
The one that made it clear I'm not the girl he wanted me to be
I tried and I failed so this is my apology
This is to the one who gave me life the one that gave me birth
The one who complains and looks at me like I'm the worst thing on the earth.
The one who emotionally beats me down
The one whose suppose to lift me up from the ground
The one whose suppose to bring to my face nothing but smiles and laughs
The one who brings everything that is the opposite of that
The one who constantly compares me to others
The one who makes it so difficult to love her
The one who says I'm not the daughter she expected me to be.
I understand that and this is my apology
This is to the sick bastard that crept into my room
The one who gave me those thoughts of ending it soon.
The one who lied and said I was crazy in the head.
The one who had denied creeping into my bed
The one who left me scarred for life
The one who is responsible for my silent cries at night.
The one who says I've changed his life
Cause I've caused problems between him and his wife
The one who said I should have kept quiet, I should have just let things be.
He's right, nothing positive came from it, so this is my apology.
This is to my friends that say I do nothing but ***** and complain
The ones who left because they say I've changed
The ones who didn't stick around in my time of need
The ones who gave me more of a reason to grieve
I understand I'm not that girl I use to be
And for that this is my apology.
This is to the girl with the low self esteem
The girl who cries so terribly
The one with the forced and fake smile
The one who hasn't been happy for a while
The one whose afraid to trust any man
The one whose afraid to let any one in
The one whose past up many chances at love
Because she finds people hard to trust
That one that was robed of her purity and self-esteem
This is to the girl I'm embarrassed to be
This is my apology, to me