Best Aunty Poems
school broke up and summers here
shipped off, a long bus ride
every holiday off I'd go
to my aunts house by the sea side
she opened the door, gave a monster hug
this lady seemed immense
the first thing to hit me was the smell
musty lavender, quite intense
she eyed me up and down a while
a look of pure distaste
now come child go unpack your bag
ran up the stairs with haste
the room I had was idyllic
clean bedding a lamp and a flower
looked outside to see the view
the bright light on Blackpool tower
aunty Millie gave me a shout
come down and help me cook
side by side we peeled the veg
in her eyes I dare not look
white collar buttoned to her chin
black skirt did sway below
grey hair tied in the tightest bun
not a strand allowed to flow
we sat around a table to eat
such a thing I'd never known
she asked of school and other things
her interest always shown
a home, a real life living home
for this childhood I would yearn
a small girl I was allowed to be
secure, friendly, but stern
three meals a day, every one home cooked
never afraid, no hand was raised
and best of all, when I was good
I was hugged and I was praised
my aunty Millie I loved her so
never wanted to go home
we said goodbye and off I'd go
once again withdrawn and alone
DEAR AUNTY NICKY
Dear Aunty Nicky,
I have been referred to you,
my name is Fawn,
I’ve been awake all night
it’s almost dawn,
I seek your advice
On a personal issue,
Your column is reputed to be best,
First, let me get a tissue!
My husband makes love to me
Three times a night,
This is a concern that could lead to an
Unwanted plight,
I could perhaps fall pregnant
With triplets!
Our pet pig, who has just had
Three adorable piglets,
Can cope with this situation for she,
She has more than a couple of nipples,
Perhaps our lovemaking should be limited
To two a night, not always triples,
Let me know what you
Think Aunty Nicky,
Things are becoming rather tricky,
I write to you in confidence, please
Advise in magazine’s next issue,
For my husband has now
Raised our lovemaking to four,
I’m anxious as to what could ensue,
Kindly advise what I should do!
Regards Fawn.
(Contest - BUNNY JUMP and Caren Krutsinger 24th December 2018)
Aunty Betty ate spaghetti
Every chance she got
For every plateful
Very grateful, she
Would scoff the bloomin’ lot
Aunty Betty ate spaghetti
Several times a day
With every course
A different sauce, and
That’s just how it would stay
Aunty Betty ate spaghetti
Far too much it seems
The urge so strong
It didn’t take long, ‘til
She busted apart at the seams
Poor Aunty Betty, there’s no more spaghetti
And the look on her face just confirms
That there in her belly
It’s not vermicelli
But thousands of wriggly worms
Knock knock,
“Who’s there?”
“It’s Aunty Mable.”
Quick, let’s hide beneath the table.
I hate it when she comes round here,
She leaves me feeling rather *****.
Her top lip is adorned with bristle,
And when she speaks her false teeth whistle.
She never plucks that hair that grows
From the wart upon her nose.
I can’t stand that cat of hers,
It’s grumpy, mean and seldom purrs.
I’m not sure why she brings that broom.
She’s never swept a single room.
When she leaves our neighbour stares
At the big black pointy hat she wears.
My father was sitting on a dark couch in the living room,
He had an odd expression on his face and looked full of gloom,
I approached my dad and said " Why do you look this way?"
He said " I should have heard what that prophet had to say"
Now your a cashier and your brother is a grocery store clerk,
I just would not get rid of my past to find some better work,
I am so sorry that I blew your future and every goal you had,
God would not bless me again because I made him mad.
You have a very special place
within our family
Filled with lots of memories
of the times you'd play with me
And later on in our lives
with cake and cups of tea
Always sharing troubles
caring she would be
You are one in a million
gold upon our family tree
(Charles Philip Arthur George - b. 14 November 1948)
I had a cousin called Charles, said Aunty Olive.
Nice young man. That's him on our TV.
That's not cousin: it's King, said Aunty Lucy. It's King Charles.
Now watch it all on this TV. It's a TV, Olive, a TV.
It's nineteen fifty-three, isn't it? asked Aunty Olive.
I remember Victoria. There she is.
She's dead, said Aunty Lucy. And you meant Elizabeth. She's gone, too.
Now look at those oils. They're from the Mount of Olives.
Very posh, said Aunty Elsie. Olives.
Nothing to do with Aunty Olive though - she's here, right here. Ha-ha!
Do be quiet, said Aunty Olive. We're all different olives. Ha-ha!
And this boy is Prince Charles. Prince Charles.
Prince Harry, Olive, Aunty Elsie corrected. Not Charles.
Harry's the King's second son. That red-headed one.
Now, said Aunty Lucy, you must have heard of this chrism oil on this TV?
Oils of sesame, rose, jasmine, cinnamon.
Oh, yes, said Aunty Elsie. I've heard of them.
Neroli, too, and that benzoin, amber and orange blossom.
Oh, you do show off, our Elsie, said Aunty Olive.
We're not that Mr Shakespeare's three witches, you know!
But look who's here, Aunty Olive added:
That Prince What's His Name chap, that Princess royal.
Yes, said Aunty Elsie: Duke of Gloucester, Viscount Linley,
Prince George - that nice boy - and Princess Charlotte, it never stops.
And nor will this TV show, said Aunty Olive.
So let's watch this King George, er, Frederick, er . . .
Charles! Aunty Lucy bellowed.
Charles! Charles! Charles! Charles! Charles!
(6 May 2003)
(You may wish to see also "Trooping the Colour" of June 2022 and "Obsequies for a Queen" of September 2022; and Elsie appears also in "Aunty Elsie's Bathroom" and "A Rubbing of Hands")
Teddy looked sad, forlorn cold and bare
Sat on the bed with nothing to wear
So aunty got out her knitting pins
To knit Teddy some warm cosy things.
First came a jumper in shades of blue
Then some trousers, the same colour too
Also a scarf, a hat and some mitts
To please Pip, her young nephew that is.
Aunty knitted all day and all night
To please her Pip in the morning light
And to delight his Teddy bear too
They mean the world to her do those two.
Teddy looked dapper in his outfit
Pip was thrilled and gave aunty a kiss
Teddy thanked her with a cheeky wink
Aunty blushed, but she was tickled pink.
My dad promised me a better life then all of this?
I stand at a cash register yet long for a job of bliss?
Why did he continue on with auntie and cause me such pain?
Now my back and feet hurt from this job with barely any gain?
My brother stocks shelves at the local market down the road,
Carrying 50 pounds or more every time he carries a load,
My mother can barely make ends meet with the three of us still at home,
But my dad carried on responding to the auntie and her poem?
He knew God had sent great messages and prophecy.
To give us a better life then what I have in front of me,
My feet are blistered and I stand all day long in this store,
I wanted so much from life, to travel and to see so much more.
**dedicated to those not hearing the messages of God,
it will carry on to see what you are reading if it does not change.
consider that prophecy like the JOB
My Aunty Stacey,
She's not very lacey,
She doesn't wear dresses,
Or have curly tresses,
She is never a sook,
But a really good cook,
Tough as nails,
Never fails,
I think you will find,
That she is very kind,
She had a ferret for a pet,
And three dogs are set,
Very happy in her house,
But sadly, no mouse,
She likes to walk the dogs,
Even in the fogs,
Her husband Rio is full of muscle,
And with us he likes to tussle,
Her friend Alisha is amazing,
We play until where hot and blazing,
Aunty Stacey there is nothing you lack,
I love you to the moon and back.
Rishtay daar Teen tarah kay hain.
1.Saath denay walay.
2.Saath chor denay walay.
3.Dhoky say yavanay valay.
Aunty Curly was knitting a scarf,
She opened a book and wrote it half,
A mouse was running under book rack,
A cat was after on the same track.
They never bothered someone is in the hall,
They were playing as a player with a ball.
A dog was sleeping on a sofa chair,
A cat waits for him when mouse goes there.
She felt anger when mouse turned this time,
Aunty was murmuring a poem in rhyme.
She heard a noise something was smashed,
Porcelain was on the ground and it was cracked.
She bought it last week that was so nice,
A thing was scattered on the floor that was rice,
A container was lying on a one side,
A lid was hiding a lampshade’s behind.
But a dog was still watching laid his head,
He hasn’t noticed anything as he was dead.
Aunty was annoyed she pushed the cat out,
When she came back she also has a shout.
You are lazy dog why did you n’t stop them?
You are mastermind you did that scam.
Get out from the chair don’t cry for food,
I always bothered you disturbed my mood.
I was willing to finish my scarf very soon,
I hope to wear in a party to night’s moon.
You lost my temper I shall punish you,
Don’t come back it’ll punish you if came through.
Why did you co-operate a cat with a mouse?
Who will pay the fine if you don’t pay my loss?
She brought a brush and cleared all mist,
A Chair was empty nobody was on its rest.
She received a letter council was on raid,
Keeping the entire stray dog in a street laid.
She was terrified and jumped out in the street,
She didn’t saw her Dog that was on a beat.
She rushedly closed the door and ran after him,
Dog was in the park after the food has no blame.
When she called Tom where are you?
Dog didn’t listen to her and walked on his crew.
Aunty was after him he stopped on a pool,
The lads were catching fishes it was very cool.
She again asked Tom come with me to home,
You are silly Dog why you are tearing Tom.
She embraced him and came back home,
She cleaned his seat and put new foam.
You are my family member don’t feel shame,
I am getting old that’s why is my blame.
I am on pension and can’t walk a long,
You need to supervise when happens wrong.
I also banished the cat but she is normal,
You always mind whatever it is formal.
Aunty Gertie may be an ol’ girly
But that doesn’t imply she can’t be flirty
The gleam in her eyes
Comes as a surprise
As aunty Gertie is three times thirty.
Gertie lives a life full of joy and fun
She’s an angel delight to everyone
She can do the splits
As well as high kicks
What’s more is that Gertie can’t be outrun.
Gertie dresses alike a beauty queen
Her hair it glows in a silvery gleam
She makes up her face
With dignified grace
The prettiest grandma one’s ever seen.
Aunty Gertie’s a poet, it’s the truth
Good poetry too, though she’s long of tooth
She writes through the night
In gleam of moonlight
Gertie’s a walking, talking dream come true.
Fill in the blanks with suitable words
1.I felt dash when he told me that my son had sax.
2.Now a days,we are facing a dash heat.
3.He is a man of sterling dash.
4.Dash you like a cup of tea?
5.The accused was guilty dash murder.
6.I went directly to my boss to dash his approval.
7.Because of dash power supply machine is lying idle.
8.They fell of the horse dash a canal.
9.He is going to see a dash.
10.He died dash fever.
11.The workers demand a dash deal from the management.
12.They knocked dash the door.
13.Take dash your coat.
14.She takes dash her mother.
15.Put dash the briefcase.
16.The bomb can dash any building.
Note.Antonio da silva high su...
My Aunty Has A Beard
I have a favourite aunty
She makes me kind of feared,
Because my favourite aunty
She has a jaggy beard.
The first time that I saw it
It gave me quite a fright,
I lay in bed just wondering
It kept me up all night.
I thought it was a spider
Hanging from her face,
Or could it be a beastie
I in its hiding place.
The first time that she kissed me
I got a great big hug,
I could feel the jaggy hairs
From my aunties little bug.
The beastie tickled on my chin
It tickled on my face,
Come here to your favourite aunty
My little baby Grace.
She chased me up and down the stairs
She chased me through the house,
And the tiny tail wagging on her face
Looked like a baby mouse.
I close my bedroom door
So no one can get in,
I`m hiding from the creature
That lives on my Aunties chin.
Sometimes when she catches me
I`m paralysed with fear,
I think her little monster
would crawl inside my ear.
Mum tells me not to worry
Or my fear will take its toll,
It’s nothing to be frightened of
It`s just a hairy mole.
So nowadays I don’t get scared
When my aunty she comes in,
Because every time she kisses me
I get tickled on the chin.
I know it`s not a beastie
And now I`m not so feared,
It`s just my favourite aunty
With her little jaggy beard.
THE END.