Best Au Pair Poems

Complaining Hitman

Sniper
Griper

Internet Detective

Hacker
Tracker

Welcomers at Adulterers Anonymous

Cheater
Greeter

Umbrella-carrying Pilot

Drier
Flyer

Male Greeter

Hello
Fellow

Elderly Au Pair

Granny
Nanny


April 13, 2022...

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No greasy treats from chippie van;
I have my starch now au, gratin
with blasted, deconstructed bass,
petits pois, served; in Demi tasse.

No pint of best down at...

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Where do we come in
					in medias res  not knowing nor caring when
doesn’t everybody pine being number one we leave behind our lives in pages...

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Billy's found with the Swedish au pair
His wife caught them in bed – both were bare
Billy couldn’t dodge her -
She cut off of his todger...

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Seven babies expected - what bliss
Two more hiding, how did the scans miss.
Nine babies born to Hamila Cisse

It’s an enormous surprise indeed
Now there are nine...

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Do you remember yesteryear,
with memories so fresh and clear?
That little note, the billet-doux,
for fleeting chance to bill and coo;
a partner free and debonair,
who shared your...

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(for N.K.)

Gossamer thoughts, gossamer things weaved as 
sliken nightgowns with quarter moon kisses,
lurking with left handed promises
with secret eyes and au pair wishes.

In morning memories,...

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She doesn’t do cooking or cleaning,
So what does your au pair girl do?...

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A young girl with cleavage to spare
Found employment as an au pair
Her boss was excited
Because she delighted
In giving her assets fresh air...

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Commuterland

Our estate is very posh,
Executives, and oh by gosh
Our Sunday evening cocktails are the thing.
Mortgaged to the eye-ball we are,
We don't even own our own...

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You and I

You put your hair in a bag
Your claim to fame is a rag
You came to capture the flag
Your love of bone doesn’t lag

I...

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Poetry IS the Mother of ALL art.
The completion and the part.
A private punchline-divine.
Be it the fruit or be it the vine.
It is The IS, sometimes...

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Comedian
—————
funny
bunny

Imposter
———-—
phony
coney

Addiction
—————
rabbit
habit

Illegal Aliens
———-———
foreign
warren

Tooth care
———-—-
flossin’
hasen

Babysitter
———-—-
au pair
kit care

Bad trip reservations
—----————————
hare air
fare err

Stopping
---—————————
it takes
hare brakes...

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nannies
grannies

watchin’
children

mouth stuffed?
cheeks puffed?

bouncy
ball-ee

legos
clown nose

toy cars
gold stars

knickknacks
thumbtacks

foil from
chew gum

day care
au pair

sitters'
jitters...

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...A child who’d never know a father
that had deserved him more than she could tell,
knowing that she must lie to her husband,
the truth of it...

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