Kepp it up now Aussies...Keep .on rocking
The boat...' As it stands; its only sinking.'
We must now 'Endeavour' to get
This country again, evenly to
Float.!!!
World stresses, Bondi attack..Strange
Occurance.? Or puppeteers
Deep hack.?
I hear you are turning your backs on c o p 31..Great news, and action..Never a doubt
Stay this course.' You're going ( great guns ) You have the reserves, invest in your own
Its time to show this world, Australia
We not only will stand ' yet will thrive on our own.' On our own terms, we can handle
Anything that comes.' Stand together now
Aussies and claim; spot number one.)
Sixth largest country has an Aussie accent
People walk upside down and koalas have bad scents
You guessed it
Bloody hot it is
Don't have to look far if you're looking for a friend
I was with a Brit friend the other day
Drinking beer and telling stories you might say
I was draining stubbies down as an Aussie will
Making this mate laugh thinking I was a real dill
Ya see in the mother country you drink out of a pint glass
And swigging the bottle was uncouth and made you a bit of an ass
But when an Aussie wants a drink and it doesn’t matter what
Looking for a glass to drink out of is silly when you’re hot
And another mate said to me one time
He only drunk when it was warm that was so fine
This was a cold day in the middle of July
He said there hadn’t been a cold day for 30 years gone by.
© Paul Warren Poetry
Australians must have to hang onto things
Obviouly they'll float around in space without wings
Though cheaper than airfare
It's damn cold up there
But the washroom is spacious, just let 'er fling
Do Aussies hop around like kangaroos do as part of their heritage
Methinks people who think that probably need a therapist
Have it on good authority
My Aussie sweetie Maria
Says they only hop when needing to pee, sorry that wasn't delicate
Often wondered bout people down under
Do they have to stand on their heads?
Do they have to tie down all their possessions?
Is flying off into space a real dread?
We hope they all stay attached to the earth
We love them and their Koala bears
Once I was told by this Australian lady
Their breath can sure foul up the air
All my Aussie friends here on the Soup
Refer to their land as paradise
I was also told that the biceps on their women
Are huge from hanging on for dear life
Now I know this must be some great myth
Olivia John seemed quite normal to me
You can't believe all the rumours you hear
But in case, hang onto to that tree!
Often wondered bout people down under
How do they keep their beer in the glass?
Do they chain themselves to the bed at night?
Do roots pop up instead of grass?
© Jack Ellison 2015
I have a couple of internet Friends in Australia
We like to joke around some, so I wrote them this,
To the tune of "Talk To The Animals" (Dr. Dolittle)
If I could talk to the Aussies
just imagine it
Babbling to a Bloke, in Blokaneses
Imagine Bantering with Bludgers
Chatting to a Cobber
What a neat achievement that would be
If I could talk to the Aussies
Learn all their dialects
Maybe get an Aussie slang degree
I'd study Cone Toad and Dag
Galah, Dill and Bag
And of course Ab-bor-rid-gin-e
I would parle in Punter and Piker
And would curse in fluent Kangaroo
If i'm asked , "Can you speak 'Banana Bender' "
I'ld say "Both Genders, can't you"
If I could talk to the Aussies, learn their languages
Think of all the things we'd disagree
If I could walk with the Aussies
Talk to an Aussies
Slang and Bang and hang with an Aussies
And they could Slang
and Bang
and Hang
with Me !
the grip o the grape,
sweet flagon solace,
a drop of the steam it will do,
we's sucking the wine,
not much of a crime,
just leave that ole flagon there blue...
with me Kangaroo dog,
i'm out for a jog,
the Kangaroos sidestepping away,
ole Dan Kinnear is choked down with a Hog,
them fowls say the rooster wont play?
Dan's flagon is empty,
he sucked down some, plenty,
the Hog has just staggered away,
his love life just went,
she said he was bent,
bloody pig of a thing to just say...
Of Robbie Burns II... Harry J Horsman
Don Johnson
Often wondered bout people down under
Do they have to stand on their heads?
Do they have to tie down all their possessions?
Is flying off into space their dread?
We hope they all stay attached to the earth
We love them and their cute little bears
Once I was told by this Australian lady
Their breath can sure foul up the air
All my Aussie friends here on the Soup
Refer to their land as paradise
I was also told that the biceps on women
Are huge from hanging on for dear life
Now I know this must be some great myth
Olivia's seemed quite normal to me
You can't believe all the rumours you hear
But in case, hang onto to that tree!
Often wondered bout people down under
How do they keep their beer in their glass?
Do they chain themselves to the bed at night?
Do roots pop up instead of grass?
@Jack Ellison 2012
Nasty Aussies
Nasty critters do we have
Under the Southern Cross
Deadly Funnel Web Spider
Deadly Blue ringed octopus
Box jelly fish might get you (deadly)
Great white shark eat you too (nice fella)
Our Redback spider nips a bit (burns like hot coal)
And Possums in the loo (toilet)
A Pelican will blurt on you (whitewash)
Cane toads come in the house (poison glands on back)
Sand goannas sucking eggs
Roo’s will punch you out
Pussycats they are perhaps
Paralyss tick gets you
Short arm snake attacks, gets slaps
The Shielas run off too
Don Johnson 15-may-11
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