Humorous August Poems

Rigorous sphincter ani externus muscle workout

Amidst the rubble strewn landscape ruins
courtesy healthy helping of prunes
linkedin to derrière issuing
melodious flatulence classical tunes,
yours truly renown buttuck blaster,
possesses...

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"Got your fluff again"
(for purpose of this poem
pronounce last word uh gain).

The missus uttered
aforementioned phrase
as she pulled a clump of my hair
from out the clogged...

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Once again besieged by fruit flies

Pestiferous infestation quite
argh apartment unit b44 
plagued with plight
analogously linkedin to phenomena  
experienced within outer limits 
of the twilight...

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August finds me on the sun deck
Ugly sweat running down my neck
Great time to jump into the pool
Using the blue water is so cool
Swimming I...

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January…new year, new me.
Met you and now I’m happy. 
We watched the ball drop and kissed at midnight.


My February Valentine
hearts and flowers because you’re mine
as...

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Eccentric kook's reasonable rhyme zigzags

Doggone poet laureate
wannabe his index finger wags
nonverbally naysaying those,
who doubt mine posthumous
fame and fortune, which snags
eternal renown within pantheon
of storied writers...

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Summer is ending 
hot days filled with outside fun, 
our sleeping in late. 
August ends our days off ~ done, 
back to school we must...

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How dare goddamn Laura divorce him
     After thirty years arduous pre dawn sacrifice
     Menopause made her dismiss...

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This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
nsync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage

bespeaks,...

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After most recent shower,
and particularly washing hair
(then shaking head
analogous to sopping wet dog
drying her/himself after a bath),
I immediately said helloo
to Long lasting fragrance Suave
essentials Daily...

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If you think July is bad,
Perhaps you have forgot.
There’s no relief in August.
It’s really just as hot.

Even if you like the heat,
There’s just no celebration.
Unless...

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The American Library Association
      implores cognoscenti tubby alert
for impersonators, who
     call themselves Ernie and Bert

 ...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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Late summer is a challenge for me.
Every year I’m overwhelmed with desire,
when passing fruit stands, vegetable stands,
and even farm wagons on front lawns,
overflowing with fresh...

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Bloody leftist a wrist tuck crat!

Fingers of left hand cried freedom,
detached themselves and declared
mutiny gesticulating thumb thing
awful, than furiously haughtily
prancing, skittering, zipping,...
as self important independent...

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