I am afraid to die, to leave the sun,
The gentle hum of rivers, and the rain.
The roses I have loved, the songs once sung,
The quiet evenings I shall see no more.
I am afraid to die, to lose the light
That filters soft through trees in spring,
The tender hush of stars that pierce the night,
The little joys that made my spirit sing.
I am afraid to die, to leave my heart
Where laughter lingers, yet I can't stay,
To see my friends and loved ones drift apart,
And all my cherished memories fade.
Yet if I must, let gentle night be near,
To calm the trembling shadow of my fear.
Perhaps in sleep, a brighter world may lie,
A river flowing toward the endless sky.
I am afraid, yet still I breathe goodbye.
Some of afraid for democracy
Others, afraid of it
What with today’s 24/7 hypocrisy
My advice is ~ Just shove it
Yesterday I sat down to do a bit of reading, light
Trixie, my muse said you are causing me a blight
All she ever wants to do is paint, cartoon or write
I knew I could cause an enormous artistic fight
I put my fingers out of my muse’s persnickety sight
afraid of her sword and willingness to maim or smite
She gets angry at the tiniest irritation or slight
Truthfully, Trixie often gives me more than a tiny fright
My fingers were crossed until they turned almost white
I am not saying her ideas are not sound or bright
But she seems to get her own way, afternoon, day and night
even when I stand up to her with my five-foot two full height
If she were a maiden and I was a ferocious knight
I might have a say or a tiny bit of power or might
but she is meticulous and mean for a tiny muse, a mite
So, I quickly say my piece, and then let my legs take flight.
Columbia is not home only to drugs it houses emeralds too
Every shape, size and weight with a unique value
I would love to visit an emerald mine, but I am stopped by fear
To avoid a chance meeting with drug cartels, I prefer to stay right here.
You can stare at me with your big golden eyes
or at least until you've come to finally realize
that I'm not afraid of any outrageous superstitions
and I don't need your cautionary admonitions.
I'm not scared of breaking mirrors or of a black cat.
It's foolishness I don't believe, and that's that!
When a calendar says it's the thirteenth of Friday,
I refuse to stay inside and hide my misgivings away.
I've walked beneath ladders and smiled doing it.
And it was just a freak accident when I broke foot
but I still don't think the writing was on the wall
when on such a said Friday, I took a serious fall.
The stigma about Friday the Thirteenth is too weird
so, there's nothing about that date that I've ever feared
but in case you ask why over my shoulder, I throw salt,
it's because if I have an accident, it won't be my fault.
Don't know why I couldn't fly
When I had the wings and all,
Don't know why I didn't try
Was I much too afraid to fall
Teetering on the bridge that day
Arms outstretched, toes to the edge,
Then again, who would jump anyway
From such a treacherous ledge
Looking down from an incredible height
My last breath caught in my throat,
Teary eyed, I lost all of my might
One moment and that was all she wrote
I often think about that time in my life
When every thing was there to try,
When ridicule, rumors, chaos were rife
I don't know why I couldn't fly …
Afraid of us
To my love, my world, my everything
I’ve given you my all
In hopes u won’t make me fall
I’ve given you my heart
In hopes you won’t break it apart
But in truth I’ve never actually healed
From the past, the pain and defeat
So, I couldn’t give you that
So, I just gave you a part
The part of me that isn’t broken
The part of me that can be spoken
All I can give is this
For now, my trauma is too much
I love you
I need you
All words I’ve said in vain
For these feelings are without pain
Lies and Lies
To cover up my painful cries
The truth is that my love for you
Is much greater than I knew
My need for you
Controls my mind, that’s true
I wonder and wonder If this will ever end
Holding me back, to defend
To protect the me that I have left
To protect myself from you
For with one word, you can destroy me
For with one phrase can defeat me
The truth is I’m so afraid
Afraid of you
Afraid of me
Afraid of us
I’m afraid of how much I love you
I want to die—
not in screams,
not in blood,
but in a quiet room where no one waits for me.
I think of suicide
like a lullaby I hum alone,
a final note to silence
the noise in my head
that never rests.
But I'm scared.
I'm afraid of the rope,
afraid of the pills,
afraid of the fall—
not just the pain,
but the fact that I might feel it
and still not escape.
I stand at the edge of my mind
every night,
toe hanging over thought,
imagining how it ends—
if it ends.
I am not brave.
Not brave enough to live fully,
not brave enough to die.
Caught somewhere between
a breath and a breakdown.
They say it gets better.
But "better" feels like a foreign word,
a place I've never been
and can't afford the fare to reach.
I want to end this.
Not just the day,
but the constant ache of waking.
And still, I stay.
Because I'm terrified
that nothing waits for me beyond.
Or worse—
something does.
I am afraid
of the incurable disease,
of the souls that will not change,
of the society that will not heal.
I tremble as man becoming beast
and calls it survival.
My co-workers gave me money to buy clothes
I am speechless; they think I only own two shirts
They do not know I have a closet full of stuff
But that closet is bulging and there is a bogey man in it
That’s why I keep wearing these two shirts
You'd never know
Surely no one could tell
I almost took my life ten months ago
From the flames inside that burned a living hell
Where demons dwell and angels ache to break free from below
It mustn't show, the absent soul hidden within a counterfeit shell
Everyone hates harassment; but some take the risk.
Let's hear applause for heroic, valiant voices
who are not afraid to step up and speak the truth.
You SHOULD Be Afraid of It
Your WORST Enemy:
Your OWN Shadow,
Hu-MAN.
-Gray Squirrel
02-23-2025
"Hi".
One word takes my to those blue skies of heaven,
your voice the north on a compass in the sea.
How I crave for those brief interactions,
occasional furtive glances,
occasional day dreamy stares.
How I wish I could cover the distance between us in two great strides,
roll you in my embrace
and say what I've been holding on so deeply to you.
Alas I am but a coward,
always replying with an excitable yet shameful
"Hey".
Will I regret it?
Of course
Lions don't barks
They roar
Always active and focus
Ready to take action at any time
They set eyes on a prey or an attacker.
Lions don't relent
They go furiously and fearlessly
After what they want or need
No matter the recklessness.
In the game of life
Be the lion
Pursue your dreams relentlessly
Go after all you want or need
Slowly and steady without hesitation
If you're afraid of failure
You won't begin.
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