If it isn't now then when?
will you choose yourself
Over another week's binge.
When Will the eyes you've been blessed with
Be opened and able to see?
The person buried beneath your addictions.
Is crying out. Begging to break free.
Haven't you had enough of the days seeming endless.
all The nights you go sleepless
While your mind runs relentless?
Can I ask if it helped,
Putting yourself through such hell?
Was it worth all the pain?
Did it numb you that well?
The sorrow and shame still consumes you doesn't it?
It can eat you alive while it whispers
"you've got no chance"
I know its a mountain that you're up against.
It's no easy task.
And the climb will be steep, but the hurt, it won't last.
Flashbacks and cold sweats
Withdrawal makes you sick.
Skin crawls and nightmares
The thought makes you itch.
But if you allow yourself time to go through it
and heal.
You'll hit the top of that mountain and see how sobriety feels.
If not now then when?
You deserve the chance to meet yourself sober again.
"How about it daddy,"
show me the way,
how you roll that paper,
you make it slay.
"How about it daddy,"
you smell so funny,
is that the reason,
you look so crummy?
"How about it daddy,"
you sleep all day,
you seem so grumpy,
I think you should pray.
"How about it daddy,"
Is it true what mommy say,
that you love smoking,
more than you love yahwey.
addictions decrease the fire increase desire
A God to those amidst their life crisis I am
Dont think I will give up without a fight
Dependence on who I am may take time
Its in their hour of needs I will be there
Choosing to mask their problem I do best
There will come a time reality will surface
I know i mustn't lose my grip or I'll lose
Overcoming me will takes their strengths
Never under estimate the will to survive
Strength come from within not a struggle
I
Don't quit. You will win
Alcoholics Anonymous includes God
The lesson: You have a spirit key
That can take you to victory
Never give in: be it good or dark, addiction
Jesus for me, demoted love as emotion
II
Love is action, a verb
Not Conquest, Souvenir, Trophy to brag
On Facebook, social media, & kick to the kerb
The one you took pictures with: proof
You have what it takes to make IT luv U
So emotional highs & lows are addictions
Though sometimes abuse, not a crime
But I needed Jesus to help me discern
To make good judgment, hard with loved ones
After years of trying, bible education, power
Came in drops & drips: So, beloved don't quit
The good fight: fight for what's Good. Jesus did
I’ve known a few who were addicted
To alcohol, drugs and eating
I’ve seen their struggle and known their pain
Witnessed their yearning for a better way
I’ve felt them fighting with all their heart
To find the answers to the problems
That keep them abusing themselves
I’ve known many who are hooked
On nicotine, caffeine or gambling
While many others are left praying to heaven
For the answers to bring them out of this
Dark, dismal place where they’re haunted by sin
I’ve known the lonely darkness that sings
Melodies of sadness, sorrow and disillusionment
Mixed with dread, grief and shadows of loss
Colored in hues of ebony and steely gray weeping
With wishes for a chance to finally say truthfully
“I’ve kicked the addiction… I’m free to be me”
Only God knows the answers that will come
When they put down the bottle, the smoke or the rum
And listen to the spirit of God’s one and only Son
Who reveals a peace inside that only He can gather
A serenity that is wise, bold and filled with answers
To the many questions that plague the heart who knows
Love abides inside the soul who reflects the Son
Feeling alone….overwhelmed….and conquered….trying to remain in a dispositional state of mind by contemplating ways of making what appears to be impossible, possible….in this realm of what is.
Struggling with the mind, and attempting to substitute the patterns of enticing and gripping destruction with approaches to overcome, endeavoring to convince the brain to alter habits that defy logic, by making the intangibles, tangible….in this realm of what is.
A crack, and then a light escaping from consciousness, and a glimpse of presence of mind altering joy and blissful reality, but once again elusive, dissonant, and inconsistent….in this realm of what is.
And now feeling ill-fated and defeated, but forever seeking to overcome the addictive entrapment, in order to find peace….in this realm of what is.
One moment a feeling that you have conquered….the next….falling into a state of despair with a belief that overcoming will never be possible….in this realm of what is.
Hell anything but cold turkey
that flips the clip
puts a happy haze on this well digger.
Well-what have you got?
Green nature
flesh food
chemical’s soft easy-
How about wish feeding jewels
dead music of heroes-
Well what have ya got?
For that brief euphoria
that enabled wave that waits present
Hole-hearted pitch, that’s tasty for the just-
gives grim to the ink- “right Jack”
I heard you Mr. Beat- write of wine
wine
a wine
I say not being Jack
What ya got?
Is it to be a Artist- you must be Poe bent.
always hungry- always Raven.
"When I get drunk- I get thirsty"
“Yeah Jake spill it”
Oh sweet taken evil
hidden to all but self.
Oh sweet taken evil.
Kept hidden to all but self.
What are the names?
Well what have you got:
Green nature buds,
Flesh food, cocoa drains,
Tempered wish feeding jewels,
Dead music of heroes.
Well what have ya got.
Hell,,,anything but cold turkey.
Anything that flips the clip.
Puts a happy haze on this well digger.
Been called sick, diseased.
After the brief euphoria,
That ebabled wave that waits present,
Hole hearted pitch, tasty for the just.
Gives grim to the ink, right Jack.
I herd you Mr. Beat write of wine, wine, a wine
I say not being Jack,
What ya got, What have you got.
Is it to be a Artist, you must be Poe bent.
Always hungry, always Raven.
"When I get drunk, I get thirsty"
Yeah,,, Jake spill it.
Copyright © Johnathon Souders |
A lake filled with joy but surrounded by pain
caught in a unorganized just over broke we
just watched each other go down the rabbit hole
We put in overtime and the freedom was to much so
our minds were up for grabs every bottle we counted
as we down it and are induvial pain slipped away at
least until the start of a new day
The lake filled with bottles the pain became hard to
sallow the bottles started to float to the top the habit
had to stop I got a new job and changed a lot and pulled
my mind out of that compromising spot
We were born with them, not the behavior of our choice. Our father in stills them in us, so one day we will hear his voice. Realizing, we need help more than we can provide for ourselves. Don’t have to be in your face religious, or traditional remedies, just have to find the way, that for you inside it will please. For if you’re happy, and satisfied, it attracts like kind, to dance and play. Opening the door, to live another day. Don’t have to give up your addiction cold turkey.Just have to make it safe, for yourself, and the ones you love. Then maybe, a visit from a dove? Carrying the message of light, and the ability to smite. Solutions provided when before there were none. Looking up now, at both the moon and the sun.
I battle addictions
And they’re as sweet as honey,
As a summer day and I’m okay
Good feeling’s only price is surrender
I battle addictions
And they feel like watching
Myself rip up rationality,
Building and spreading like cancer
I battle addictions
And they infest every cell
My body, home to an unchecked mind
And longing that feels like home
I battle addictions
And recovery is more painful
So every day they scream to return
And sometimes I do and lose
I battle addictions
And I know that I don’t want to
And I know my mind is changing
And there might be hope in circumstance
One day I will break the cycle
The familiar repeat of desire
What holds me down and chokes me
But will someday make me stronger
Addictions
I feel honoured to have known
Your innermost soul.
And wish I’d had success
In freeing you of demons.
I watched you struggle,
And gave you guidance.
In return was pushed away.
So I hypnotize you
With my big brown eyes,
And take you on a journey
Deep within my soul,
As if to shelter you,
From your damaged self.
All my love surrounds you,
Like a warm blanket
On a cold winter’s day.
Protecting you from
The digital temptress world.
But alas,
Sadly
To no avail.
Those creatures call you,
And you leave my safe world.
You are pulled here and there
From one to the next, and the next...
And I am forgotten,
Your safe loving world
Now just a distant memory...
Ignorance destruction can't beat them don't join'em. Death B-4 dishonor be the strong. Humanity is a reflection of our works. Can't depart from the characteristics of our works affect & effects negative or positive. Till we do better when we know better. Knowledge of self is in the origin of creation plan. A test of conduct & deeds creation holds for the created. That which pressure is upon most the greater it can stand. By way of perseverance and endurance. The benefit; the more productive to the overall purpose humanity shall become after proven & tested. Which is not seen clearly for some while still weathering evil storms. To all self medicating by the most affordable most natural pain killers. Narcotics may numb the pains of society burdens. But truth only love can stop the pains & psychological stresses associated with living a life of payment. Tit for tat; not who u know it's who u blow all of that. Love our self, love our health, most of all have love for all else. Evil & sin goal is to kill love for all who not lustful of it's fruits....
Enjoy!!!!
Pain so deep, so very deep
It can't be touched,
It can't be reached
Guilt so consuming, it consumes the soul
Hidden so well
That nobody knows
All of these scars, these scars on my arms,
It's only me,
It's myself that I harm.
Can't see ahead, no future plans
All of these track marks
Might as well be a brand.
The lies, so many lies
My whole life is a fiction
Excuses, always excuses,
Just blame it on the addiction.
No escape, escaping the past
Time is the one thing you can never get back
The scars may fade, but the damage, it lasts.
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