To Be Sung to the Tune of Man on the Silver Mountain in the style of Ronnie James Dio with Rainbow
I compute, I compute
I'm a meticulous brute
you can't stop me from filing
Cause I'm no fun, I'm no fun
But I get your tax done
The new tax code I'm learning
I wear bland attire
and lift your refund higher
Someone's screaming my name
Come and save me money again
I'm the killer accountant
I'm the killer accountant
In the day in the day
I can show you the way
And look, I'm right beside you
In the night, in the night
you will not be uptight
Uncle Sam can't see inside you
Write off your dryer
Lift my pencil higher
Someone's screaming my name
Come and save me money again,
I'm the killer accountant
I'm the killer accountant, hey, hey
Well, I can help you, you know I can
I'm the killer accountant
I'm the killer accountant
Just look at me and listen
I'm the man, the man, give you my hand
I'm the killer accountant
Write off your dryer, lift my pencil higher
I'm the killer accountant, I’m the killer accountant
Have no fear, no fright, there’s no audit - that’s right
I’m the killer accountant
My accountant said I'm officially poor,
so I headed out to the grocery store.
Food now costing so much more.
Preparing tuna casseroles, eating spaghetti
striving to keep track of every penny,
is making me anxious, my palms now sweaty..
Gas prices may have stabilized but every thing
else continues to rise, even every day household supplies..
Merchants smile at you so you think their the nicest
and claim that it's all post pandemic prices or that limited
supplies have caused this food crisis..
I've said no to Lancome and designer jeans as I struggle
to stay with in limited means. My bank account chronically
seems to be lean..
It's not much fun being poor, especially if one's known
money before. I'm starting to ask what else is in store?
Let freedom ring from sea to sea but America is no longer free.
I'll keep on working at 73.
An accountant asks for accuracy
Playing figures
Always got his mind tangled
Blurring his eyes
And so bustling the calculator
Making his neck strained and fingers stiff
But the cunning figures
Still manage to escape
From his balance sheet sometimes
Causing him a severe headache
What's more
So surprisingly
Sometimes has to go all the ways
To make fool of the figures
For tax evasion
Making himself
Restless and guilty
For the rest of the day
For the rest of his career life
The prince was fearful when he saw the pretty faerie headed his way.
He held up his arm indicating that was close enough.
She was transfixed by his stare, so she kept flying.
Seriously! He croaked, please give me six feet.
She sat down, and he relaxed a bit.
I am here to transmogrify you back, she told him.
He had been afraid of that. Dreading the day.
Nothing had been worse than paying all the bills in the palace.
Please don’t, he implored her.
I love it here. I can swim all day, and the flies are tasty.
His huge tongue sizzled out and snatched one.
YUM!
But the king needs you, she told him.
He is lonely.
There are other accountants, he told her.
Please tell him you could not find this one.
She suspected there was another reason.
What about your wife? She misses you.
She was never kind to me, he argued. She put me down.
She made fun of me in front of my children.
She works in accounting at the factory,
loves counting numbers and her salary,
she has it made,
till she got weighed,
obviously hates counting calories.
11-20-16
I've been an accountant, since I received my degree
And I wake around seven, with a fake grin and coffee
So I drive to the office, to watch time past by
Will there be time for travel, will there be time for life
Will I be blessed with a women...One quick with a line?
Her breath on my neck with a faint trace of wine
So I take the long way, with the screnery of sprawl
From the shopping on Quivira, to the center off Nall
Life is but a whisper, that gets lost in the sound
Of the constant highway chatter and the daily go-round
hopeful and happy
the little girl counts to ten
does it nine more times
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