Funny Goodbye Poems | Funny Poems About Goodbye

These Funny Goodbye poems are examples of Funny poems about Goodbye. These are the best examples of Funny Goodbye poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Sonnet | |

Pest Control --- Goodbye

Goodbye, farewell, adieu, please go away,
this house is mine. I will not share with you.
You see my cabinets as a buffet,
pay no rent, and use the floor as your loo.

You fail miserably as a roommate,
and I’ll be more than glad to see you gone.
Sinisterly gleeful about your fate,
I’m anxious for the curtains to be drawn.

No more ceaseless chattering though the night,
nor any more wires cleaved by rodent teeth.
I won’t fret on small eyes reflecting light,
or creatures hiding in my Christmas wreath.

Escape, or, if you prefer, you can die.
I don’t care which, as long as it’s Goodbye!

Copyright © Brittany Reynolds | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Happy Question

Today I am going to hop my way to my brother.
To tell him how I feel about not being together.
I thought I could be so kind.
I saw him by the road side and I was blind.
I could just end it all by now.
Today I tried a cow.
It really was hard to do.
Then I hired a semi crew.
I watched carefully, darn he is fast!
My name is Happy ?, I'm Easter's brother who is sad.
He painted eggs that made me jealous and bad.
I hopped one day and he threw an egg at me.
My heart became really cold that memory was key.
I finally thought of it an accident really is going to happen.
Happy Easter is going to be laugh-en.
Good to see you, I said to a mystery man.
I was told not to associate with any human.
It was my last resort.
The man had a sports car a beautiful sort.
I was desperate, now, I'm in a bunny court.

Copyright © Reynaldo Mast | Year Posted 2013

Details | Haiku | |

Out house saga

             The puffs of air came and went bubbling
                         Happily putting on the exhaust on high
                                       Running like hell to the outhouse saying bye

Copyright © Tonytocaa Camacho | Year Posted 2015

Details | ABC | |


You send bolts through my skin 
something I was never to 
accomplish with you, when I 
saw you it's like my heart sank 
to my stomach and I was in 
shock my body still my body 
heavy felt like when I moved I 
was about to fall to my knees 
you make me want to get 
inside my brain pick you up and 
take you out pick you one by 
one like a flower because I do 
love you and love you not.

Copyright © brittney lopez | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rondeau Redouble | |

Goodbye Johnny Walker

Goodbye Johnny Walker
Joanna Davis

I swear I’m in a nightmare,
I know it’s some bad dream
This craving for the deadly juice,
Is nothing new it seems
Our life is one long quarrel, 
A battle no one can win
Am I paying a kind of penance,
For some past life of sin?
I won’t put up with this forever,
The smell or wavering gait
If I stay with you much longer,
I’ll surely be tempting my fate
A soul that’s soaked with liquor,
With breath to ignite a match
But your handsome looks so deceiving,
I naively believed you a catch!
You’ll promise it’s the last time,
Say you’re done… that it’s the end!
But in me you see a nagging wife,
While in the bottle - a comforting friend
Tell me exactly how, I can win,
Or compete with something so pure?
What kind of psychological jargon,
Would even up the score?
This demon is so elusive,
Someone, somewhere, please advise me,
What spirits will finally convince you,
To seek your desired sobriety!

Copyright © jo davis | Year Posted 2011

Details | Free verse | |

My Mother in law is Poisoning me


I think my mother-in-law is poisoning me.
The electric range is smelling strange,
She tests the smoke detector by cooking everyday....
Now the entire kitchen is acting deranged.
Semolina at 3:30,
Mercury hits 120 degrees!
Nausea and stomach cramps are rising in me,
Red-sauced tripe is afflicting me.
Outside it's now Celsius 43 degrees.
Now Bulimia is what I see,
I have to stay for tea,
Yes, my mother-in-law is poisoning me,
There's much to said for ...

Copyright © Julie Grenness | Year Posted 2015

Details | Blank verse | |

The oversized plastic coffee cup says

The oversized

Plastic coffee cup 

with the plastic lid



I am hot and wet

Handle me with care

Do not microwave

Copyright © RUDOLPH RINALDI | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse | |

Gene and Gilda

Star crossed champions of mirth
Wild hair and wild eyes, both 
To the world they say with arms raised to the sky, 
"What a pity, for we dearly love to laugh!" 
Arm in arm, singing their favorite show tunes 
But in the voices of Donald Duck and Calamity Jane
Gallivanting through the city, doing the Charleston in the street 
These two have no interest or talent for growing up 
And made the world lighter because of it 

Willy Wonka in his purple jacket,
Holding the door for her with his cane,
Him with those dreamy eyes
Pale eyes that swim in her perpetual smile
A smile, a voice and a soul that lit up everything for miles 
She sits, glowing in the window, 
Like a princess in the white room, wearing her little barrette
But she isn't well at all 

And so she left this world, Roseannadanna did, one morning 
And the twinkle in his eye twinkled off into space 
With her dimples, impromptu cartwheels and spinning skirts  
Four years wasn't enough to fill up the laughing box 
The glass elevator is lonely looking down on the world 

Wait, wait, wait, BAM!
Would she want him sinking there in his spats? 
A wop, bam, boo! No, choose instead to keep that wicked grin 
Dance down the aisle of the plane, show that funny funny face 
Embrace each Saturday Night gone by 
To Gene and Gilda, geniuses of love and light hearts 
Pop the cork on the champagne and roller skate through this life!

~For Heather Ober's Famous Couples/Duos Poetry 

Copyright © Jeremy Martin | Year Posted 2013

Details | Carpe Diem | |


Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.

Copyright © Sam Ruby | Year Posted 2013

Details | Rhyme | |

Goodbye Smoking

I'm not smoking today ;
not that the urge has gone away.

It's just that I'm tight and smokes are high ;
but, clothes are cheaper, I won't deny.

I'd like to be known for my wit and charm ;
instead of an odor setting off a fire alarm.

Believe me, it's not easy;
but, with a cigarette, I look sleazy !

I have an image to uphold ;
I'm known to be brave and even bold.

But, those little, white, sticks of fire ;
have always been part of my attire.

Will people even know me now; 
without the smoke circling my brow ?

Grit my teeth, gnaw my tongue ;
clean my hair and clear my lungs.

I might even feel brand new ;
and smell like perfume, not fish stew.

So, wish me well, no more Pall Mall ;
and pray I do not have a fall.

For this will be my very last try ;
to say it's easy, is a BIG, FAT lie !!

Copyright © Gail Blakeley | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme | |

Moving On

Goodbye sweet friend it's time to go,
Don't act as if you did not know.
Now is the chance for me to show,
You have become my greatest foe
I'm leaving you at dawn.
Remember when we used to be
Like peas in a pod, you and me?
Now all I want is to be free
It's time I'm moving on.

The sun awoke to bless my sky,
Wind has given me wings to fly,
I'm feeling so free, I cannot lie
Turning I whisper one last goodbye,
As I'm leaving you at dawn.
Today has become my greatest test...
Find a field where my seed shall rest
Till when next year I'm a Dandelion pest.
That's why I'm moving on.

09.08. 2014
Written for Anthony Slausen’s Contest Moving On

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans | Year Posted 2014

Details | ABC | |


I wake up to unusual ringtone
I rise to pick up my phone
One eyed half open,
I stretch out my hands down my pillow
I clean my throat ready to say “hallo”

 My right thumb on the screen to slide the green icon
But….there is no message or a missed call
Oh my God, I forgot that I never had you’re new number at all
Because you’re gone- my sweetie
So reluctantly, I have to go back to sleep

Copyright © Hanif Munthali | Year Posted 2014

Details | Rhyme | |


Sweet memories bring me sighs

So many tears from our many goodbyes

Hey!!!!!!!! Those days life was new

Your ginger laughter filled the room

I feel the grief of our childhood

I curl beneath myself and sob

A cherry rope swings between the tree

Of summer nights on the beach

When the wind moaned up the hill

And you’d take me in your arms

And hand me such a big kiss

The sweet hugs meant just for me

Now we’re parting, leaving these walls

Where our laughs and tears forms the beats

The glitter of our many dreams spill and hunt these walls

So caged they refuse to fly away

It’d be a felony if the memoirs swayed

I bubble in the corners of your head

Ray dots that never change with time

So many promises I keep on hold

And as I say my last goodbye

And looking at the smiling sky

I know one day that all this sorrow

Will peel off before those teary eyes

That day we shall mend the past

Because it has always been a patent

You belong to my heart

By Liz Leppy

Copyright © liz leppy | Year Posted 2014

Details | Free verse | |


This is about my best girlfriend.
How she attracted men.
When we were in school, boys really doted on Sue.
She is about 5 ‘2.’
Black and beautiful
This poem is concerning one.
His name was Samuel.
While we were in the gym, he wanted Sue to be attentive.
She ignored him well with another male.
He came up the bleachers with a chair.
Said, “That’s my woman Israel.”
Israel gave him the eye.
He stopped and smiled.
Sue sat through it all.
Today she is alone.
Please laugh out-loud.
Because what tickles the funny bone is when you imagine the jokes that went on.
Israel asked, “Samuel why she with me?”
Samuel responded and stated, “She is a cheat.”
Israel came around, took the chair from Samuel, and both begin to court Susan.
The morale of it all is this does not tickle the funny bone.
This creative write was a motivation drawn from Francine Roberts contest 
"Tickle My Funny Bone."  I wanted to thank her for this motivating writing tool with the flip side of her request.  This will not be entered.

Copyright © Verlena S. Walker | Year Posted 2014

Details | Rhyme | |

Held Too Long

I am the dipped stick
People are always referencing to

For two reasons:
One, is that I held on too long
Two, is because all but two fingers are gone

Lets look on the bright side, shall we...
I was a beautiful explosion!

A vibrant bouquet 
Of summer flowers in bloom
Emanating from my hand 
In offering to the night sky

There was an orange so serene
It could make the setting sun cry
At least I lost my pinky finger 
And not my right eye

The potassium and iron oxide
That filled the firecracker's column
Made brilliant scores of violet and red 
As visions of pyrotechnical plum ferries danced in my head 

There was also a yellow that looked as if it escaped from dreams
 Like a day lily in the morning that just busted its seams
This can be attributed to the explosive levels, of sodium
Which may of in turn resulted, with the loss of my thumb  

Iron was unmistakably there creating a pure gold
The color of the ring a lost extremity used to hold

Copper sulfate was present creating the truest of blue 
Five digits once stood where now there is two
Titanium, aluminum, or magnesium powders
Gave the finish a hurtful bright white
I may be giving a peace sign 
But everything is not alright

6/9/16 - real late at night

Copyright © Plant A Tree Poetry | Year Posted 2016

Details | Light Poetry | |

Memorable Rides

Congratulations! You have bought a new car.
May you have many joyful and memorable rides with your family!

As regards how fortunate you are
to get such a quick loan to buy the car,
Aha, ask me!
Few years back, 
in all excitement and overloaded love, 
I gifted my husband, umm.... a high end german car -
You see, I have faith in all German technologies-
they are strong and reliable,
'coz one of my aunts is a German.
The first year or two is pretty blissful- 
Right? as it is with all ignorant fools-
happily enjoying the rides,
coyly smiling at envious eyes,
holidaying in distant places, 
and paying back the loans religiously.
The third year I kept on wondering,
Oooish! many more left?
The fourth year I just wanted to get it off my back! 
Sorry to say, but- the itch was always glued there,
no matter how much I scratched, rubbed,
mowed the back with a roller-
Oof! -I just couldn't get off the painful itch.
The final year, when a handful loans were left, 
my patience was depleted, 
I begged, borrowed, emptied my piggy banks,
dug out all my hidden vaults,
squeezed out the last bit to 
just pay off the tortuous loan.
Plomp! I fell on the sofa,
and heaved the biggest sigh of relief! 
By that time this not so young companion 
had travelled many tedious miles with me,
burrowing the largest manhole-
Aha! - even ripping through my last bank account.
The next day I peered at it with raised eyebrows,
shocked to realise that it truly looked 
uncomfortably older, scarred and weatherbeaten.
Honestly speaking, I was tired of it,
found flaws in it, and who wants an old hag?
I started eyeing and drooling over other beauties- 
Whew!-the youngest and latest models!! 

May you have many joyful and memorable rides with your family!

Copyright © Balveen Cheema | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse | |

Death Makes A Call

Death has a habit of waiting
Death is very patience

My Mother has a saying-
when your number is called then your time is up
But Death is tolerant and is more like a friend

Last night at 5:58 pm Death called me on my home phone
Death is also clever and disguised himself
My called ID showed my name and number but when I answered
Death was on the other end

I was very afraid that Death was calling me
Maybe my number was up
But Death said that he was calling for a friend
who has refused to die and was too frighten to left go
And would I have a word

I saw Death in a new light
A kinder and friendlier Death
And one who may not sting

Death said goodbye and I said that I would put in a good word
But I asked Death to do me a favor and try not to call for me too soon

Copyright © Mel Brake | Year Posted 2016

Details | Quintain (English) | |

Romeo's Goodbye

Tainted lovers leave
Broken lies.
From sorrow did our souls reply,
To see upon this marital bed
A prickly thorn upon its head.
And I,
With shirt,and shoes,and cap
Do take those tender words right back.
For intertwined we could never be
A stitch on true love's tapestry.
For hurried hearts
Doth often hide
Where lustful desires coincide.
Now that the beast lay satisfied
I fear my love for thee hath died.
And all I pray thee take in stride
With this my ultimate,
Last goodbye.

Copyright © Christina Larmon | Year Posted 2008

Details | Blank verse | |

without a wave

I press my face 
the window glass
like a small fish 
in a large fish tank
looking out

in lukewarm water 
the outside world
rush by

without a wave

Copyright © RUDOLPH RINALDI | Year Posted 2016

Details | Light Poetry | |

Goodbye To A Friend

You find me in a crying state
I find it hard this to relate
I hope the words will come to pass
Sadness I feel so deep alas

It has been good fun as you can tell
I enjoyed it, what the hell
So goodbye my furry friend
I will see you when I meet my end

Although old faithful pal you’re dead
I know I’ll dream of you in bed
So now I bury you, old chum
And you can go and join your mum

I know you could not help the hair
You were covered in it everywhere
And when you played you were so rough
But monkeys are so very tough

Copyright © Owen Yeates | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse | |


Alone in a crowded room
               she whispers through
               her sharp cat`s teeth...

Count the rest of your life
in days you do the same.
Imagine a space in the air
where I will never be...

Copyright © Leslie Philibert | Year Posted 2016

Details | Free verse | |


Tell me you 8 me,
Please, don't you d-9.
Tell me to 1- der away,
That you're 2 bad for me.
Tell me of your 5 star escapades
With your Slay Queen 6-ters.
Tell me you're a 3-ickster
And your heart isn't meant 4 love.
Tell me, so I'd 0 my mind.

Copyright © Akinlade Seyifunmi Sky | Year Posted 2017

Details | Couplet | |

Don't Kiss A Wish Goodbye

To us, what is a kiss?
If, it’s done with a twist

A pretentious kiss
A pretentious wish

Is it your way of saying goodbye?
Maybe, you need a break for a while

A pretentious kiss
A pretentious wish

Do you want to end this way?
The sacred vow we disobey

A pretentious kiss
A pretentious wish

Which one is wrong, yours or mine?
Then, let’s make a kiss to find the lime

A pretentious kiss
A pretentious wish

Why don’t we wish a gentle kiss? 
A real kiss made of a gentle wish

A pretentious kiss
A pretentious wish

A kiss is a symbol of you and me
Once we both deeply wished to be

So, bye-bye to pretentious kiss
And, no more pretentious wish

Copyright © Ernesto P. Santiago | Year Posted 2006