Without John

lost in the twilight hours
             the twilight years
longing for the past

a closet door opens,
             I reach inside
wrap myself in his old sweater

his Aramis scent 
             still clings to wool 
puts me in a trance

and the aged phonograph
             still works
as I dance to our song

“Without You” by Nilsson
              I can’t live
if living is without you
              I can’t give
I can’t give anymore

no, I’ll not forget the evening
              his face as he was leaving
for work the night before his stroke

I keep Aramis in the house
               to spray my pillows
as I drift off to sleep

without you, my love,
               without you
just sounds and scents
               that make no sense
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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12
Beck Avatar
January 5, 2011 at 1:53 AM
sadly beautiful......Syd
Chappell Avatar
October 29, 2010 at 4:09 AM
well done here my friend wonderful peace
Ruebel Avatar
October 28, 2010 at 2:03 PM
Carolyn, This is so beautiful and it touches my heart...It would seem we have walked the same road. Thank you and congratulations on winning the contest....Well done As Always, Shar
Mehta Avatar
October 26, 2010 at 11:53 AM
Congrats on HM in contest......Luv/Best wishes...........Hitendra Mehta
Brown Avatar
October 25, 2010 at 10:39 AM
Congratulations Carolyn on your HM in Frank's contest. Love, Carol
Mannan Avatar
October 22, 2010 at 9:45 PM
A very touching poem Carolyn. many congratulations for this win.
K. Avatar
October 22, 2010 at 6:41 PM
coming back here to say Congrats on this very touching piece, Carolyn! -- hugs nikko
Neels Avatar
October 21, 2010 at 8:37 PM
Carolyn congratulations on your win with this beautiful piece, love Wilma
Gorelick Avatar
October 21, 2010 at 5:46 PM
I missed this first time around I guess..This is so sad..he would be so proud of you my dear..you have so much talent. Congrats once again. BG
Guzzi Avatar
October 21, 2010 at 5:24 PM
such longing and sweet pain, we never forget, congrad's Light & Love
Mehta Avatar
October 21, 2010 at 4:02 PM
Congratulations on this well deserved win, Carolyn
Kendrick Avatar
October 21, 2010 at 3:40 PM
Congratulations on your win..Sara
Richards Avatar
October 21, 2010 at 2:54 PM
This touches deeply, Carolyn....those sad memories can come in sounds, smells...sometimes in the most unexpected ways. A lovely sweet poem. Congratulations on this wonderful poem. Love, Carrie
Johnson Avatar
October 21, 2010 at 1:26 PM
I identify with this and it gives me shivers. Congratulations on your recognition. It should have been higher. Thank you for your sweet comments. Love, Joyce
Bloomsfield Avatar
October 17, 2010 at 9:27 AM
this wouldbe the winner if i was the judge. .im cryin with you,very deep to lose the one you love and still feel him there. .love you Dear friend,tmfs!Celene
Hilliker Avatar
October 16, 2010 at 11:16 PM
The last stanza is awesome, Carolyn. I hope all is well with both of you. Aramis - a great aroma. :-)
Fraser Avatar
October 15, 2010 at 8:49 AM
A beautiful tear laden piece Carolyn, and a lovely tribute to John. I so loved Aramis, I have not seen it in years. Have a lovely weekend >> James
Bagnall Avatar
October 15, 2010 at 5:12 AM
That's sad and beautiful at the same time, really well written.
Freedom Avatar
October 15, 2010 at 4:42 AM
Great poem Carolyn, when I read something and feel it in my chest, I know it's great.
Ryerson Avatar
October 14, 2010 at 5:58 PM
Beautiful writing, Carolyn...the scent, the photographs, wrapping up in his old sweater...That song has always been one of my favorites too...Tim
Beesley Avatar
October 13, 2010 at 1:31 PM
very nice...chokes me up a little
Horsman Avatar
October 13, 2010 at 12:02 AM
you give so much Carolyn, in fact you don't know just how much your love is transfered in your poems and comment, a friend for life i hope you'll be. Harry
K. Avatar
October 12, 2010 at 8:42 PM
what a heartbreaking write-- and one could really feel the loss here-- sorry indeed for this, Carolyn...but you are blessed though to have shared wonderful memories with him--replied to your soupmail btw, thanks...:)
Christian Avatar
October 11, 2010 at 1:24 PM
but I have God and I have my kids and I will be fine it wil take time to heal but I will be good anyway i'm off to go get some rest, God bles you always from diane
Christian Avatar
October 11, 2010 at 1:22 PM
aww what a lovley poem and yes it hurts so much when w e loose loved ones it doesn't make it easier knowing our Loved ones are waiting for us in heaven if they have gone that way but like me a loved one gone on earth is painful too sometiems circumstances leave us feeling so hurt and empty but faith keeps us strong and upholds us, it was my birthday yesterday and although my husband keeps asking forgivness he never even botherd to text or anything so he dont really care after all
12
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