Sea Pearl

I'm fifteen darkwater dreaming or drowning adrift and alone on the ocean of the bathroom floor tossed on tidal waves of pain pearled with perspiration a clattering clutch of shells contracting shingle shushing stifled shrieks the shucked shell of my womb emptying like an oyster snared by umbilicals of seaweed Far away hazy-faint through saltwater mists I see a little pearl glistening floating and rocking in red sea I'm all at sea without anchor on tides a boat floating free seeking a mooring in the harbour of the doctor's consulting room her voice a deep dive anchoring me with subtle sympathy through muffled underwater sounds sea-shadowy fog shawling me I want to tell her about the dream submerged stories of a tiny pearl maroon-mangled and foam-spangled slipping slowly from me into scarlet sea drifting away sinking to darkwater depths Driving home my mother's rings clink like shells against the steering wheel and a shaming sea of silence fills the car pretty shells shucked and shocked