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In The Name Of Love

I was only sixteen when I gave birth to you a child having a child - my parents made a decision for me I would give you up for adoption and that is what happened the days after, I was lost confused and questioning the decision but I knew I could not care for you I was just a kid . . . part of me would never forgive me a part of my heart was forever missing when I got a bit older without my parents knowing I tried to find you but got nowhere then much later- I told my mother and father that I wanted to search they did not stop me . . . I searched for years not a day went by my son that I did not think of you I loved you although I never held you I was your mother . . . should I find you, I would not change your life perhaps just be part of it time went by and life went on first father passed and in time mother I inherited the family plot one day, I went to visit with roses and for some reason before leaving I went into the cemetery office . . . I asked for a list of who was buried in the plot as the lady read off the names, I nodded then she said, oh yes, and there is the baby boy a dagger stabbed my heart I asked the date- I could not breathe I had tears in my eyes I had found you, my baby boy the lady showed me your birth certificate and your death certificate and there was no doubt you died at birth . . . I know my parent lied to protect me in the name of love and I will never know why . . . why did they let me search the world could they not tell me the truth in my mothers dying breath could she not tell I will never understand the why and never forgive it made me so sad and that sadness still lingers I had "baby boy son of . . . and your date of birth" engraved on the family stone, after all I was the owner you were never given a proper name now, I know where you are and my search is over although you dwell in another realm you are my son and I am your mother . . . how many times did I stand at that cold tomb not knowing your bones lay beneath my feet I go often with a white rose for my sons because in time, I had two baby boy angels buried there, both loved . . . ____________________________________ July 19, 2016 Poetry/Free Verse/In The Name Of Love Copyright Protected, ID 16-809-918-0 All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym. For the contest, Long Lost Family sponsor, Silent One Fourth Place

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 10/11/2016 2:56:00 PM
wow,Constance, I have found this remarkable story. SO similar to mine. So sad!! Sorry your parents never saw fit to tell you this. I cannot understand that all. To make a person believe that they have a child somewhere in the world when they do not. Luv,Andrea
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Date: 9/2/2016 8:56:00 PM
What a heart-wrenching poem this is, Constance. Beautifully written, but bringing tears. Congratulations on your win! :)
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Date: 9/2/2016 8:52:00 PM
Hi BW, This was such a sad poignant piece. Congratulations on your win. It was well deserved:-) Alexis
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Date: 9/2/2016 8:09:00 PM
Oh Broken Wings...you do it to me every time! You pull my heart strings into a million directions :) Beautifully written, as always lovely lady...congrats on your placement :)-luloo
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Date: 7/20/2016 11:52:00 PM
This is heartbreaking, no one should have to go through so much pain. As you said you have great inner strength maybe that's why. This should do well in the contest!A7
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/21/2016 3:42:00 PM
John, thanks for visiting and the 7, I am not sure if I always had the inner strength but I know I have it now ~
Date: 7/20/2016 11:46:00 PM
I just had to come back and read this again. This time I've read some of the comments as well. The first time I read this, I did not realize the story is true and yours. The poem and the story is so very touching and heartwrencing. Hugs. T.J
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/21/2016 3:43:00 PM
Teppo, yes it is my reality, thanks for reading my poem again ~
Date: 7/20/2016 7:37:00 PM
Hello Broken Wings it has been awhile since I have been here - wanted see what you had been up to with your writing - this one immediately caught my eye - so heart wrenching and moving - I was adopted also and on a journey of sorts -well anyway - it was no coincidence that I stopped to read your poem - thank you for writing it!!! All my love - yes and hugs!!!!
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/21/2016 3:45:00 PM
Susan, welcome back and thanks for visiting, yes you picked a sad one for sure ~
Date: 7/20/2016 5:09:00 PM
totally moving me from start to end, constance... this is one gem of a work!.. huggs and soupie!
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/21/2016 3:46:00 PM
Nette, thanks for visiting and the compliment ~
Date: 7/20/2016 3:28:00 PM
I went on reading and feeling sad for the girl and now I find out its actually you.Hugs to you Broken,you have endured a lot!
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/21/2016 3:48:00 PM
Sara, my life has been a tangled path for sure, thanks for visiting ~
Date: 7/20/2016 9:17:00 AM
I adore the sadness and depth of emotion in your poetry, Constance. A beautiful write. Best wishes for the contest. A7 and a fave for me. T.J
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/21/2016 3:49:00 PM
Teppo, thanks for the beautiful, favorite and 7 ~
Date: 7/19/2016 9:50:00 PM
Powerful and real gutsy writing. A true poet. See my poem "in another time" then you will know I understand the emotion you brought to the table. You obviously have ability to put that kind of painful emotion whether yours or someone else's onto the page in a such way that we will not come away unmoved and feeling there is a hole in humanity. David. God luck for contest.
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/20/2016 8:40:00 AM
David, thanks for the nice comment. The story is true and it is mine. When I had the engraving put on the headstone, I thought I could close that door at last, I was wrong. I would have called my son , Conrad, after my father ~
Date: 7/19/2016 4:10:00 AM
I am gripped between what is real and what is imaginary when I read your work. Expertly written - good luck in the contest. Jesse
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/21/2016 3:53:00 PM
Jesse, ,sadly it is true..thanks for visiting ~
Date: 7/19/2016 1:37:00 AM
Truly touching Broken Wings, all the best in the contest!
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Dear Heart
Date: 7/19/2016 1:38:00 AM
Grace, thanks for visiting, I hope it does well in the contest ~