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In the Name of Love
I was only sixteen when I gave birth to you a child having a child - my parents made a decision for me I would give you up for adoption and that is what happened the days after, I was lost confused and questioning the decision but I knew I could not care for you I was just a kid . . . part of me would never forgive me a part of my heart was forever missing when I got a bit older without my parents knowing I tried to find you but got nowhere then much later- I told my mother and father that I wanted to search they did not stop me . . . I searched for years not a day went by my son that I did not think of you I loved you although I never held you I was your mother . . . should I find you, I would not change your life perhaps just be part of it time went by and life went on first father passed and in time mother I inherited the family plot one day, I went to visit with roses and for some reason before leaving I went into the cemetery office . . . I asked for a list of who was buried in the plot as the lady read off the names, I nodded then she said, oh yes, and there is the baby boy a dagger stabbed my heart I asked the date- I could not breathe I had tears in my eyes I had found you, my baby boy the lady showed me your birth certificate and your death certificate and there was no doubt you died at birth . . . I know my parent lied to protect me in the name of love and I will never know why . . . why did they let me search the world could they not tell me the truth in my mothers dying breath could she not tell I will never understand the why and never forgive it made me so sad and that sadness still lingers I had "baby boy son of . . . and your date of birth" engraved on the family stone, after all I was the owner you were never given a proper name now, I know where you are and my search is over although you dwell in another realm you are my son and I am your mother . . . how many times did I stand at that cold tomb not knowing your bones lay beneath my feet I go often with a white rose for my sons because in time, I had two baby boy angels buried there, both loved . . . ____________________________________ July 19, 2016 Poetry/Free Verse/In The Name Of Love Copyright Protected, ID 16-809-918-0 All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym. For the contest, Long Lost Family sponsor, Silent One Fourth Place
Copyright © 2024 Constance La France. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs