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Heave Ho and Yo Ho Ho

An Old Folks home called Shady Lane where life was at an end. Where a hundred captives bide their time till Death its message sends. They built a country... fought its wars and gave everything they could. Now left to simmer and wait their time as all good inmates should. Told what to eat and when to sleep, the clothes were not their own. No cable news, no colored shoes, their dreams have long since flown. The paint is peeling off the walls and the rooms are cold and damp. There is no doubt... the inmates know this is a prison camp. The Shady Lane was quiet with the inmates locked away. The staff was more than happy, it had been a stress free day. But tomorrow in the morning when others had their rest. One man sick of dying would cause them much distress. At the buzzer the man awoke and jumping to his feet. He looked into the mirror and saw the Dreaded Pirate Pete. 'G yaarrr, I be a menace to those who built this jail. I soon be weighin' anchor once this ship is mine to sail.' 'But first a crew I be needin' to sail the southern seas. To loot and pillage treasure ships along the Florida keys. This brig is full of salty dogs who be men not knowin' fear. They'll gladly follow Cap'n Pete and be my buccaneers.' 'But the jailers they be crafty, I will need to run a rig. If caught alive Old Salty Pete could dance the hempen jig. I need a plan to get me crew so me Mates can start a livin'. And fight against these biscuit eaters with no quarter being given.' He stole into a nearby room where he surprised a man named Rob. 'We be settin' sail, I be Cap'n Pete and ye be 'One Eyed' Bob. 'We be breakin' free. Why walk the plank and risk the briny deep? Sail with me and I be guaranteeing, ye be not dyin' in your sleep.' Robert Frost thought a bit on what life was left to squander. Or rage against his captors and sail the wide blue yonder? 'I'll join your fight, I'm 'One eyed' Bob and ye be Cap'n Pete. Arr! Let's find some mates and show them how these Urchins can be beat.' 'We'll get 'Keen Eyed' Tom and 'Smilin' Pat, both eager for the fray. They be joined by many more, all zealous for their day. There be 'Big Thighs' Bertha, 'Lootin' Mike and 'Mad Eyes' Martha Stone. And 'Blunder buss' Betty, 'Butcher' Jack and 'Harpy' Janice Sloan.' Pirate Pete tells his plan and the crew would join the fight. 'Then me Hearties, me be thinkin', we hatch our plan tonight. Before them jailers sit for grub, we be silent as we creep. And Arr! We add a bit of potion to make em' fall a sleep.' The plan succeeds, the swabbies down, 'Now let us bind them tight. Now my Beauties,' says 'One Eyed' Bob. 'Cap'n Pete has set things right.' 'Yo ho ho.' the crew explodes with blatant disregard. When Cap'n Pete says with glee, 'Arr...I've found a credit card.' To the phone they order out such food was long denied. They get chicken wings and onion rings with a decent side of fries. No salad greens, all fatty foods and grog of every kind. 'Arr! Let's order more,' cries 'One Eyed' Bob. 'Those scurvy dogs won't mind.' 'G yarrr! Get some music,' says Cap'n Pete. To someone in the know. 'We be Masters of this vessel now so let the hornpipes blow.' They danced the night to a merry tune where nothing done was wrong. When One Eyed' Bob says, 'Oh Cap'n Pete, give us a shanty song.' 'Avast ye lubbers and move smartly now, least ye feed the fishes. For booty calls and gold doubloons to satisfy our wishes. With a cutlass and some cackle fruit we'll loot and never fail. And if our winds be out of favor. Arr! Dead men tell no tales.' 'Heave ho and yo ho ho' was heard throughout the night. When a Pirate crew tasted freedom on winning their last fight. I'd like to hope it stayed that way to their glory and their fame. When Cap'n Pete and a fearless crew took back the Shady Lane. The End *To run a rig is to play a trick. *To dance the hempen jig is to be hanged. *Biscuit eater is an insult. *Cackle fruit is a hen's egg. *Swabbies are lowly workers. *The potion is ground up sleeping pills. *For those who might be interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Date: 4/29/2019 4:14:00 PM
Oh this a FUN, happy piece! I love the narrative about how the inmates take over the Shady Lane! Bravo! Love your swashbuckling language.
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David McHattie
Date: 4/30/2019 6:16:00 PM
Thanks Andrew. I had to do a bit of research for this one.Have a great day.
Date: 4/10/2019 8:08:00 AM
David this is a brilliantly fun and frolicking shanty poem. A truly enjoyed read. Have you by chance seen Monty Python's "Meaning of Life"?
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Jeff Connelly
Date: 4/10/2019 9:32:00 AM
Sailing on the accountant sea...
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David McHattie
Date: 4/10/2019 8:21:00 AM
One of my favorite films. Love the pirate sequence. Thanks for commenting. Stay frosty my friend.
Date: 4/9/2019 7:35:00 AM
Hello David McHattie, I enjoyed this tale of the pirate Pete,now they will have some fun. Have a nice day my friend.
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David McHattie
Date: 4/9/2019 4:31:00 PM
I hope so. They deserve it. Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it. Have a great day.
Date: 4/8/2019 5:03:00 PM
This is great! Cap'n Pete has become my new hero! A fav!
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David McHattie
Date: 4/8/2019 5:11:00 PM
I hope there are a few Cap'n Petes out there.
Date: 4/8/2019 4:47:00 PM
This is way beyond (a mere) 'excellent,' David. I am stunned. It should be published somewhere, somehow. A FAVE for sure. Kudos, Gerson
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David McHattie
Date: 4/8/2019 5:17:00 PM
Gershon, you are way too kind, but I appreciate the support. It makes me want to be a better writer. Thank you.
Date: 4/8/2019 4:39:00 PM
Wow, I'm speechless..well almost. what a story..Loved it. BG
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David McHattie
Date: 4/8/2019 5:13:00 PM
Thank you Barbara. Sometimes I never know where I'm going with a poem, and it turns out better than I could have hoped.
Date: 4/8/2019 2:44:00 PM
you deserve a flag at our ship for this story. words used to set the stage connect nicely to the intriguing voyage. a lot of time was taken to make this into a true to life story. will let this be at the helm of my favs.
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