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There's a Senior's home called the Shady Lane
    and life's curse is at an end.
Where a hundred souls are kept in line
    till Death its message sends.
They built a country... fought its wars, 
    giving everything they could.
Now left to marinate and wait their time 
    as all good inmates should.

Told what to eat and when to sleep, 
    the clothes are not their own.
No cable news or colored shoes, 
    their dreams have long since flown.
The paint is peeling off the walls,
    the rooms are cold and damp.
There is no doubt... the Seniors know,
    there in a prison camp.

The Shady Lane was quiet,
    the inmates locked away.
The staff was more than happy 
    to have another stress free day.
But the morning would be different
    as necessity would hamper nature's Laws.
There was one man sick of dying 
    who would bring deference to their cause.
    

At the buzzer... the man awoke 
    and jumping to his feet.
He peered into the mirror 
    and saw the Dreaded Pirate Pete.
'G yaarrr, I be a menace 
    to those who built this jail.
I'll soon be weighin' anchor
    once this ship be mine to sail.'

'But first I need a stoutly crew
    to sail the southern seas.
To loot and pillage treasure ships 
    along the Florida keys.
This brig is full of salty dogs 
    who be souls not knowin' fear.
They'll gladly follow Cap'n Pete 
    and be my buccaneers.'

'But the jailers they be crafty, 
    I will need to run a rig.
If caught alive... Old Salty Pete 
    could dance the hempen jig.
I need a plan to execute
    so me Mates can start a livin'.
And fight against these biscuit eaters 
    with no quarter being given.'

He stole into a nearby room 
    and surprised his best friend Bob.
'We be settin' sail, I be Cap'n Pete 
    and ye be 'One Eyed' Bob.
'We be breakin' free. Why walk the plank
    and risk the briny deep?
Sail with me and I'll guarantee
    ye be not dyin' in your sleep.'

Robert Frost thought a bit 
    on what life was left to squander.
Why not rage against his captors 
    and sail the wide blue yonder?
'I'll join your fight, I'm 'One eyed' Bob
    and ye be Cap'n Pete.
Arr! Let's free our mates and show them how 
    these Urchins can be beat.'

'We'll get 'Keen Eyed' Tom and 'Smilin' Pat, 
    both eager for the fray.
They be joined by many more, 
    all zealous for their day. 
There be 'Big Thighs' Bertha, 'Lootin' Mike 
    and 'Mad Eyes' Martha Stone.
And 'Blunder buss' Betty, 'Butcher' Jack 
    and 'Harpy' Janice Sloan.'

Pirate Pete lays out a plan
    and the crew would join the fight.
'Then me Hearties, me be thinkin', 
    we hatch our plan tonight.
Before them jailers sit for grub, 
    we be silent as we creep.
And Arr! We add a bit of potion 
    to make em' fall a sleep.'

The plan succeeds, the swabbies down, 
    'Now let us bind them tight.
Now my Beauties,' says 'One Eyed' Bob. 
    'Cap'n Pete has set things right.'
'Yo ho ho.' the crew explodes 
    with blatant disregard.
When Cap'n Pete says with glee, 
    'Arr...I've found their credit card.'

To the phone... they sally forth
    ordering food long since denied.
They get chicken wings and onion rings 
    with a decent side of fries.
No salad greens, all fatty foods 
    and grog of every kind.
'Arr! Let's order more,' cries 'One Eyed' Bob.
    'Those scurvy dogs won't mind.'

'G yarrr! Get some music,' says Cap'n Pete. 
    To someone in the know.
'We be Masters of this vessel now 
    so let the hornpipes blow.'
They danced the night... a merry tune 
    where nothing done was wrong.
When One Eyed' Bob says, 'Oh Cap'n Pete, 
    give us a shanty song.'

          'Avast ye lubbers and move smartly now, 
              least ye feed the fishes.
          For booty calls and there be gold doubloons 
              to satisfy our wishes.
          With a cutlass and some cackle fruit... 
              we'll loot and never fail.
          And if our winds be out of favor. 
              Arr! Dead men tell no tales.'

'Heave ho and yo ho ho' 
    was heard throughout the night.
When a Pirate crew tasted freedom 
    on winning their last fight.
I'd like to hope it stayed that way
     to their lasting glory and fame.
When Cap'n Pete and a fearless crew 
    took back the Shady Lane.

                The End

*To run a rig is to play a trick.
*To dance the hempen jig is to be hanged.
*Biscuit eater is an insult.
*Cackle fruit is a hen's egg.
*Swabbies are lowly workers.
*The potion is ground up sleeping pills.

                


*For those who might be interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day.
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