John Watt Poet Free verse

Experiencing Technical Difficulties

I've never twitted on Tweeter
nor am I an Instagrammarian
I've searched on Goggle
but cannot find MyFace on the interweb
I ask "how do I find the North Star?"
and get 4,460,000,000 hits, mostly ads
for an ice cream bar called "The Big Dipper"
so I go make some toast and eat lunch
at least I can work a toaster
                              
Kids think I was born in the Jurassic era
believing my first job was swabbing the deck
on a Byzantine sailing ship
for I speak of phones connected to the wall
and TV sets with 4 channels and cars that got 8 mpg
I don't know url's from www's, or http's from html's
my mobile phone always auttocronects my speeling
and cyber censors block my search for 'penal colonies'

I cannot find the mute button on Zoom
so my belch might make it into the meeting minutes
my internet takes regular coffee breaks 
and the only tweeting is the birds outside my window
so I sit at my screen watching dots chase themselves in a circle
trying not to get toast crumbs
on my high tech keyboard


Written 16 Mar 2022

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Gavin Sawyer May 2, 2023 at 11:11 AM "I've searched on Goggle but cannot find MyFace on the interweb I ask "how do I find the North Star?" and get 4,460,000,000 hits, mostly ads for an ice cream bar called "The Big Dipper"" is literally what happens whenever youre trying to find something on google =) also there's a typo for google John Watt May 2, 2023 at 2:48 PM CHKN, thanks for the read and the fun reply. The misspelling of Google was intentional, indicating the writer is easily confused technologically (Twitter,internet, and MySpace are also misspelled).

Caren Krutsinger April 29, 2022 at 6:02 AM I understand this so well "at least I can work a toaster" and it made me happy to read.

Anil Deo March 31, 2022 at 10:40 PM Penile colonies would not even get goggled on Piety Soup. John u got the scoop on humor this year, thx

Jennifer Proxenos March 31, 2022 at 12:30 PM What a laugh - i love this poem, i know enough but not a lot about digital technology. You describe your experience with such keyboard confusion, but we learn as we get younger! A fave my friend, hope you are keeping well. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer. John Watt March 31, 2022 at 6:07 PM Thank you dear friend, I am the King of Cluelessness when it comes to tech. I'm glad you enjoyed this and made it a fave, ever so grateful for your poetry friendship and encouragement over the years. Blessings and hugs ~ John

Gershon Wolf March 29, 2022 at 5:43 PM Hey, I'll bet you played 'Pac-Man though,' and that you were even pretty good at it! ~ Joystick, gobble those pellets... John Watt March 30, 2022 at 7:48 AM wokka wokka wokka wokka

Michelle Faulkner March 24, 2022 at 10:09 AM Yes, I remember answering machines! And VHS tapes (be kind, rewind) And digital pagers! And pay phones (when was the last time you saw one of those?) I am lucky I figured out email :) John Watt March 24, 2022 at 3:48 PM And phone books with yellow pages, and the milkman, and film processing, and music cassettes... ah the good old days. Thanks for the fun comment!

Andrea Dietrich March 22, 2022 at 5:31 PM amazing work, John WOW. Gotta fave this one. I hope you took a high placement. it was well deserved. Sorry I can't see more. I see you have written others I have not seen but my time is limited these days. i can barely keep up with comments before they scroll into oblivion John Watt March 24, 2022 at 3:43 PM It's okay, I fully understand busy schedules. I sure appreciate the fave.

Ann Peck March 21, 2022 at 9:27 AM John, your poem sums up the trials and frustrations with digital, beginning with the computer. I laughed aloud at "cyber censors block my search for 'penal colonies" Great write! Congratulations! John Watt March 24, 2022 at 3:42 PM Thank you for the uplifting words of appreciation, Ann. I'm glad you enjoyed this.

Christuraj Alex March 21, 2022 at 12:30 AM Great and beautiful narration .Congratulations! John Watt March 24, 2022 at 3:40 PM I appreciate your kind words Christuraj

Bill Baker March 19, 2022 at 8:06 AM Very entertaining if it wasn't so true to my experience with technology. It was a good trigger for a flashback of how my kids and especially my grandkids see me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us through poetry, John. Good luck in the contest. Bill John Watt March 24, 2022 at 3:40 PM Thank you Bill, I think we can both relate to the tech generation gap.

Joanna Daniel March 16, 2022 at 11:57 PM This is a really funny one, John, you sure seem to know your technology:) loved the autocorrect line:) John Watt March 17, 2022 at 10:16 AM Thank you for that lovely compliment, Jo. I'm actually an electrical engineer by profession, but technology changes faster than I can keep up with it!

Gary Radice March 16, 2022 at 1:38 PM I'm smiling reading this John. You don't happen to have a drawer full of wires at home as well do you? Wires complete with plugs that don't appear to belong to anything you own. :) Just asking for a friend. :) Cheers - Gary John Watt March 17, 2022 at 10:13 AM actually I do, Gary... it's the same drawer with all the floppy disks instruction manuals from 25 years ago, lol. You can let your "friend" know that it's perfectly normal behavior for us old geezers. Cheers ~ John

Ilene Bauer March 16, 2022 at 1:32 PM oh, i can so relate to this one, john! i am 100% in the same boat as you are, barely keeping afloat. i actually never minded getting up off my rear end to manually change the channels on the tv! John Watt March 17, 2022 at 10:15 AM i remember when remotes were new, i thought "why would anybody ever need that, the tv's only 5 feet away!"

John Lawless March 16, 2022 at 1:15 PM ....have you been monitoring my internet inefficiencies ..... i was just trying to find out where they hid the "cookies".....DAMMIT.....The Captcha for this comment is......9AD John Watt March 17, 2022 at 9:49 AM ah, my birth year... what a coincidence! Thanks for dropping by, John

Tom Cunningham March 16, 2022 at 10:45 AM I think we arrived late for the digital party John, Kids do look at you like you're from the jurassic period lol. Good luck in the contest hope you're keeping well. Tom John Watt March 17, 2022 at 9:50 AM I'm thankful for my kids, without them I'd have no idea how to get my phone to work. Thanks for the visit, Tom.