Depth of My Pain

A simple phone call led to a plunge into suffering Hyperventilating, from news of the sudden death of my friend I gather my words and travel silently to the grave A rose and Christmas tree are frozen in the snow I felt frozen too in the cold, empty, cemetery I stood completely shocked, this could happen ‘again’ A winter had never been so cold, I had never been so cold Everything I was about to say, was stolen by time Haunting me, as I spoke alone, under looming gray skies Yet, I didn’t want to leave where I felt I was stuck This was the only safe place out there left for me For now, there was no strength anymore, in my soul To fight the evil we had fought together, as a team To make things right all on my own seemed impossible I woke up and thought it was a terrible nightmare Stumbling with tears to make a coffee in the morning Then, awakened again, by the bitter truth of loss You had helped me for years, now you were gone You had chosen to do what is right from the start Now, taken from those who choose to do wrong Suddenly, life did not make sense to me anymore To face another day, took going through the motions I was empty, until I wrote songs for you, poems for you, Painted scenes for you, while speaking for you I pursued matters on my own the best I could With continual visits to your grave, with so much to say I could feel you watching over me everywhere I went Continually making sure I don’t give up on life For only you knew the truth, the depth of my pain - And only I could do something about it - Heidi Sands Written: 5/19/18 Placed 3rd in the Let your pen drip contest. Theme Chosen: I gather up my words Four Words Required: Plunge, suffering, rose, soul.