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A Couple of Lims

TIGHTWAD TIMMY

Tightwad Timmy bought some very cheap meat
With fresh vege t'would be a nice tasty treat
But something was wrong 
There was a strange pong
And maggots were dropping off by his feet...



FINGERLESS FRED

Fred lost his finger in a meat grinder 
Offered a huge reward for the finder 
But short sighted Sue
Used it in her stew
And felt poking and prodding inside her...


Written 14th January 2022.

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Valsa George

Date: 10/30/2022 9:07:00 AM

More than humor, I feel my innards are churning.... ! Imagine maggots dropping from stale meat! Yuck ....! The limerick on finger stew is so very funny !

Tom Cunningham
Date: 10/30/2022 12:08:00 PM

Thank you Valsa, glad you enjoyed the second one anyway lol. Tom

Indiana Shaw

Date: 3/23/2022 6:51:00 PM

I popped in to get away from the war, I so needed a laugh, dearie me, picked the wrong limericks there, gory, ha, ha, ha ; )

Tom Cunningham
Date: 3/24/2022 4:47:00 AM

Lol, there's doom and gloom everywhere. Tom

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 2/7/2022 1:50:00 PM

That last Limerick had me really laughing Tom. You are one of the best here at soup at writing Limericks. I am Faving these two. Kudos on these being so funny. I loved them. Thank you for the laughter. Blessings xxoo

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/7/2022 11:50:00 PM

Thank you very much Connie, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Thanks too for faving them Hope you're keeping well. Tom

Cecilia Macfarlane

Date: 2/3/2022 2:19:00 PM

Hahaha, these are great Tom. Hugs

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/3/2022 3:03:00 PM

Thank you very much Cecilia, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Lisa Ricci

Date: 2/3/2022 3:04:00 AM

Good Morning Tom - Hi. Two very vivid limericks before us. I very much liked your second of fingerless fred because my dad was a meat cutter and once in his long time career he had to go to the ER to have his thumb attached. It was a scary time with the loss of blood etc. As always Tom you leave us with wonderful poetry. Have a great morning and day. Remain safe. Blessings always.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 2/3/2022 6:40:00 AM

Thank you very much Lisa, sorry to hear that it happened to your dad. Hope you're keeping well. Tom

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 1/21/2022 8:05:00 PM

G'day Tom ... as gory as they are, your limericks had me chuckling - thanks Tom - Lindsay

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/29/2022 2:25:00 PM

Thank you very much Lindsay, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Robert L. Hinshaw

Date: 1/18/2022 12:29:00 PM

A tonne of laffs, Tom! I love great lims and these are great lims - especially the 2d one! Many thanks for your kind comments re my recent post An Election Year Prayer and hope all is well at your house - Bob H

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/18/2022 2:12:00 PM

Thank you very much Bob, im happy you enjoyed them. All good here, hope you are too. Tom

Anitha Jayasankar

Date: 1/17/2022 10:02:00 PM

So funny Tom, thanks for the laugh... especially the second one... enjoyed reading your limericks... God bless... ~ Ani

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/18/2022 12:57:00 AM

Thank you very much Ani, Im pleased that you enjoyed them. Tom

Timothy Mcguire

Date: 1/17/2022 5:51:00 PM

Yikes! you cant trust a Tim! love limericks, good job

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/18/2022 12:57:00 AM

Lol, thanks Timothy, glad you enjoyed them.. Tom

Judy Ball

Date: 1/17/2022 2:20:00 PM

Too funny Tom abd poor Sue. Don't think I would want any meat that may have anything in it I wouldn't want to eat. Good Limericks. God Bless, JB

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/17/2022 2:28:00 PM

Thank you very much Judy, they're enough to put you off meat for life lol. Tom

Anil Deo

Date: 1/17/2022 2:20:00 AM

Poor Sue. After these limericks I gave up meat, for pure veggie meals, LOL! Thanx for dessert Tom. "Lim" dessert?

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/17/2022 3:53:00 AM

Thank you very much Anil I think that I had the devil in me when I composed those lol. Enjoy your week ahead. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/16/2022 6:30:00 PM

funny and gross . I especially liked the second one. VERY funny one.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/16/2022 6:32:00 PM

Thank you Andrea, I hope I haven't put anyone off meat lol. Tom

Eve Roper

Date: 1/16/2022 1:48:00 PM

Grosssss.... Maggots!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a deer in the heat when a blow fly has blown the carcass with eggs and the maggots are like a waterfall and that is all you see. Yuck :( Great hilarious Limericks. May your new year be a blessed one

Eve Roper
Date: 1/17/2022 12:52:00 AM

I had the problem one year when my husband brought a buck home bagged. But, the fly got to it first. I tried everything to get rid of them,,, last resort was flea spray. that did the job

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/16/2022 2:02:00 PM

Yikes, not something I'd like to see Eve. That's nature for you. Glad you enjoyed them, hope you too have a wonderful new year. Tom

Rama Balasubramanian

Date: 1/16/2022 11:12:00 AM

Both Limerick superb. Second one very innovative!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/16/2022 11:20:00 AM

Thank you very much Rama, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 1/16/2022 7:18:00 AM

I enjoyed both but the 2nd made me laugh lots. Well penned my friend. Blessings my friend for the rest of the year, may it only bring you good cheer. Jennifer.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/16/2022 7:53:00 AM

Thank you very much Jennifer, im glad you got a laugh out of them. Tom

Alexis Y.

Date: 1/16/2022 6:53:00 AM

Lol! Tom, I echo what Lin said. Like always well done. Have a nice day- Alexis

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/16/2022 7:02:00 AM

Thank you very much Alexis, im happy you enjoyed the humour although a bit gross lol. Tom

Charles Messina

Date: 1/16/2022 5:16:00 AM

If it were Fred's pinky, then it would have smelled stinky, and Sue might not have eaten it (lol) Great Lim's as usual, Tom. Have a nice weekend. Charlie

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/16/2022 5:18:00 AM

Lol thanks Charlie, glad you enjoyed them, hope you too have a lovely weekend. Tom