Tom Cunningham Poet Limerick

A Couple of Lims

TIGHTWAD TIMMY

Tightwad Timmy bought some very cheap meat
With fresh vege t'would be a nice tasty treat
But something was wrong 
There was a strange pong
And maggots were dropping off by his feet...



FINGERLESS FRED

Fred lost his finger in a meat grinder 
Offered a huge reward for the finder 
But short sighted Sue
Used it in her stew
And felt poking and prodding inside her...


Written 14th January 2022.

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Valsa George October 30, 2022 at 9:07 AM More than humor, I feel my innards are churning.... ! Imagine maggots dropping from stale meat! Yuck ....! The limerick on finger stew is so very funny ! Tom Cunningham October 30, 2022 at 12:08 PM Thank you Valsa, glad you enjoyed the second one anyway lol. Tom

Indiana Shaw March 23, 2022 at 6:51 PM I popped in to get away from the war, I so needed a laugh, dearie me, picked the wrong limericks there, gory, ha, ha, ha ; ) Tom Cunningham March 24, 2022 at 4:47 AM Lol, there's doom and gloom everywhere. Tom

Connie Marcum Wong February 7, 2022 at 1:50 PM That last Limerick had me really laughing Tom. You are one of the best here at soup at writing Limericks. I am Faving these two. Kudos on these being so funny. I loved them. Thank you for the laughter. Blessings xxoo Tom Cunningham February 7, 2022 at 11:50 PM Thank you very much Connie, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Thanks too for faving them Hope you're keeping well. Tom

Cecilia Macfarlane February 3, 2022 at 2:19 PM Hahaha, these are great Tom. Hugs Tom Cunningham February 3, 2022 at 3:03 PM Thank you very much Cecilia, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Lisa Ricci February 3, 2022 at 3:04 AM Good Morning Tom - Hi. Two very vivid limericks before us. I very much liked your second of fingerless fred because my dad was a meat cutter and once in his long time career he had to go to the ER to have his thumb attached. It was a scary time with the loss of blood etc. As always Tom you leave us with wonderful poetry. Have a great morning and day. Remain safe. Blessings always. Tom Cunningham February 3, 2022 at 6:40 AM Thank you very much Lisa, sorry to hear that it happened to your dad. Hope you're keeping well. Tom

Lindsay Laurie January 21, 2022 at 8:05 PM G'day Tom ... as gory as they are, your limericks had me chuckling - thanks Tom - Lindsay Tom Cunningham January 29, 2022 at 2:25 PM Thank you very much Lindsay, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Robert L. Hinshaw January 18, 2022 at 12:29 PM A tonne of laffs, Tom! I love great lims and these are great lims - especially the 2d one! Many thanks for your kind comments re my recent post An Election Year Prayer and hope all is well at your house - Bob H Tom Cunningham January 18, 2022 at 2:12 PM Thank you very much Bob, im happy you enjoyed them. All good here, hope you are too. Tom

Anitha Jayasankar January 17, 2022 at 10:02 PM So funny Tom, thanks for the laugh... especially the second one... enjoyed reading your limericks... God bless... ~ Ani Tom Cunningham January 18, 2022 at 12:57 AM Thank you very much Ani, Im pleased that you enjoyed them. Tom

Timothy Mcguire January 17, 2022 at 5:51 PM Yikes! you cant trust a Tim! love limericks, good job Tom Cunningham January 18, 2022 at 12:57 AM Lol, thanks Timothy, glad you enjoyed them.. Tom

Judy Ball January 17, 2022 at 2:20 PM Too funny Tom abd poor Sue. Don't think I would want any meat that may have anything in it I wouldn't want to eat. Good Limericks. God Bless, JB Tom Cunningham January 17, 2022 at 2:28 PM Thank you very much Judy, they're enough to put you off meat for life lol. Tom

Anil Deo January 17, 2022 at 2:20 AM Poor Sue. After these limericks I gave up meat, for pure veggie meals, LOL! Thanx for dessert Tom. "Lim" dessert? Tom Cunningham January 17, 2022 at 3:53 AM Thank you very much Anil I think that I had the devil in me when I composed those lol. Enjoy your week ahead. Tom

Andrea Dietrich January 16, 2022 at 6:30 PM funny and gross . I especially liked the second one. VERY funny one. Tom Cunningham January 16, 2022 at 6:32 PM Thank you Andrea, I hope I haven't put anyone off meat lol. Tom

Eve Roper January 16, 2022 at 1:48 PM Grosssss.... Maggots!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a deer in the heat when a blow fly has blown the carcass with eggs and the maggots are like a waterfall and that is all you see. Yuck :( Great hilarious Limericks. May your new year be a blessed one Eve Roper January 17, 2022 at 12:52 AM I had the problem one year when my husband brought a buck home bagged. But, the fly got to it first. I tried everything to get rid of them,,, last resort was flea spray. that did the job Tom Cunningham January 16, 2022 at 2:02 PM Yikes, not something I'd like to see Eve. That's nature for you. Glad you enjoyed them, hope you too have a wonderful new year. Tom

Rama Balasubramanian January 16, 2022 at 11:12 AM Both Limerick superb. Second one very innovative! Tom Cunningham January 16, 2022 at 11:20 AM Thank you very much Rama, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos January 16, 2022 at 7:18 AM I enjoyed both but the 2nd made me laugh lots. Well penned my friend. Blessings my friend for the rest of the year, may it only bring you good cheer. Jennifer. Tom Cunningham January 16, 2022 at 7:53 AM Thank you very much Jennifer, im glad you got a laugh out of them. Tom

Alexis Y. January 16, 2022 at 6:53 AM Lol! Tom, I echo what Lin said. Like always well done. Have a nice day- Alexis Tom Cunningham January 16, 2022 at 7:02 AM Thank you very much Alexis, im happy you enjoyed the humour although a bit gross lol. Tom

Charles Messina January 16, 2022 at 5:16 AM If it were Fred's pinky, then it would have smelled stinky, and Sue might not have eaten it (lol) Great Lim's as usual, Tom. Have a nice weekend. Charlie Tom Cunningham January 16, 2022 at 5:18 AM Lol thanks Charlie, glad you enjoyed them, hope you too have a lovely weekend. Tom

Joanna Daniel January 16, 2022 at 12:47 AM Fun ones, Tom:) I loved the second one very much:) Tom Cunningham January 16, 2022 at 12:49 AM Thank you very much Jo, I often wonder if someone has an accident like that do they throw it away and start again lol Tom

Bill Baker January 15, 2022 at 4:57 PM Both fun and entertaining, Tom. I liked Fingerless Fred best though, especially the closing line. lol Thanks, Bill Tom Cunningham January 15, 2022 at 10:25 PM Thank you very much Bill, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope you're having an enjoyable weekend. Tom

Jenna Logan January 15, 2022 at 1:35 PM I'm thinking I'll be eating vegan food tonight. Ha ha, Tom. Your limericks are always fun to read. Tom Cunningham January 15, 2022 at 2:23 PM Thank you very much Jenna, I've given it serious thought after reading David's comments lol. Tom

Michelle Faulkner January 15, 2022 at 11:53 AM Sounds like Fred and Timmy might know each other? Grusome in a fascinating way, Tom! Tom Cunningham January 15, 2022 at 12:24 PM Lol thanks Michelle, glad you enjoyed them. Enjoy your weekend. Tom

Lin Lane January 15, 2022 at 8:57 AM Two disgusting limericks, and both utterly hilarious! I love your lims. Lin Lane January 15, 2022 at 9:31 AM lol Yes, they are, but limerick is the proper form for gross. Tom Cunningham January 15, 2022 at 9:09 AM Thanks Lin, they just came to me yesterday, pretty gross lol. Tom

Malabika Ray Choudhury January 15, 2022 at 6:57 AM Limericks are your area, Tom. Who can beat you? Hilarious! BW ~ Mala Tom Cunningham January 15, 2022 at 9:06 AM Thank you very much Mala, im pleased that you enjoyed them. Hope your new year is off to a good start. Tom

Delice Arleen Skelly January 15, 2022 at 4:47 AM Wow, excuse me while I up-chuck, heheheh...Delice Tom Cunningham January 15, 2022 at 4:49 AM Lol, I should have put a warning. Hope you're well Delice. Tom

Sara Kendrick January 15, 2022 at 2:34 AM Very creative and expressive works you have penned in these two. I felt for all involved in these lines. Sara Tom Cunningham January 15, 2022 at 3:55 AM Thank you very much Sara, glad you enjoyed the humour. Hope you're keeping well, enjoy your weekend. Tom

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