Evil comes to all us men of imagination wearing as its mask all the virtues.

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In the 1940s a survey listed the top seven discipline problems in public schools talking, chewing gum, making noise, running in the halls, getting out of turn in line, wearing improper clothes, not putting paper in wastebaskets. A 1980s survey lists these top seven drug abuse, alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery, assault. (Arson, gang warfare and venereal disease are also-rans.)

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Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.
Friendship

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I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.

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It's a 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a packet of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.

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We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us. Ideas of the Stone Age exist side by side with the latest scientific thought. Only a fraction of mankind has emerged from the Dark Ages, and in the most lucid brains, as Logan Pearsall Smith has said, we come upon nests of woolly caterpillars. Seemingly sane men entrust their wealth to stargazers and their health to witch doctors. Giant planes throb through the stratosphere, but half their passengers are wearing magic amulets and are protected from harm by voodoo incantations. Hotels boast of express elevators and a telephone in every room, but omit thirteen from all floor and room numbers lest their guests be ill at ease.

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My situation is a solemn one. Life is offered to me on condition of eating beefsteaks. But death is better than cannibalism. My will contains directions for my funeral, which will be followed not by mourning coaches, but by oxen, sheep, flocks of poultry, and a small traveling aquarium of live fish, all wearing white scarves in honor of the man who perished rather than eat his fellow creatures.

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Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged only in private--- though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.

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Skiing consists of wearing 3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.

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He is definitely coming. This is my best friend. He'll be there, probably wearing a Pittsburgh jersey, but that's OK.

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Be able to suffer wearing a necktie or slightly high heels for an entire evening without complaint or early removal.

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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.

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I've been getting a lot of science fiction scripts which contained variations on my Star Trek character and I've been turning them down. I strongly feel that the next role I do, I should not be wearing spandex.

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Half the world does not know the joys of wearing cotton underwear. (promoting US exports, as quoted in Time)

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All of the photographs of her wearing that gown, she looks like she's Cinderella going to the ball. Older women remember her fondly and younger women, I think, get a kick out of how elated she was at being the center of attention going off to the inaugural ball.

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Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head, make their point of constructive criticism and continue on in calm forbearance. Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

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Have you ever tried riding a pig, painted black, really high on drugs, wearing a cowboy hat?

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I see a red sash I kill the man wearing it. So run you cur! Go tell all the other curs the law is coming! You tell 'em I'm coming, and hell's coming with me, you hear? Hell's coming with me!!

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Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos were lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a mountain in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'.

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Jacoby I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain. Elizabeth You like pain Try wearing a corset.

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Jerry I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens.

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If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.

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How could a man be satisfied with a decision between such alternatives and under such circumstances? No more than he can be satisfied with his hat, which he's chosen from among such shapes as the resources of the age offer him, wearing it at best with a resignation which is chiefly supported by comparison.

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The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the...

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If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sweater.

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The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.

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I think it's really disgusting that designers use fur, and it's disgusting that people wear fur. It has to stop. It's so unnecessary in today's world, with the technology we have. I'm wearing fabulous 'ultrasuede' tonight. This is totally the look of leather. There's a way to get it without death involved. We should be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

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Mike Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know

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I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It's never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting 'Forward, brave comrades!' you'll see he's the one behind the bloody big rock and the wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!

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If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

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