Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.

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Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and g...

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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, "Whe...

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We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

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It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

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It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Funny

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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Sports

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October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

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The ordinary reverence, the reverence defined and explained by the dictionary, costs nothing. Reverence for one's own sacred things--parents, religion, flag, laws and respect for one's own beliefs--these are feelings which we cannot even help. They come natural to us; they are involuntary, like breathing. There is no personal merit in breathing. But the reverence which is difficult, and which has personal merit in it, is the respect which you pay, without compulsion, to the political or religious attitude of a man whose beliefs are not yours. You can't revere his gods or his politics, and no one expects you to do that, but you could respect his belief in them if you tried hard enough; and you could respect him, too, if you tried hard enough. But it is very, very difficult; it is next to impossible, and so we hardly ever try. If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean it does nowadays, because we can't burn him.

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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

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The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

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Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

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Of all the creatures ever made, Man is the most detestable. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.

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Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

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It is easier to stay out than get out.

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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

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