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Carol B. Poem
Living amid the blurred lines of my reflections
Stark cold fears snow me blanket my resolve
Nestled my leafless core begging for rebirth
Patches of life clumped to the reality of what is what was
Soul penetrating every doubt of self worth
Raw exposure of glory days forgone
Dreams engulf the rapture of greener pastures
Revealed in roots embedded firmly in my foundation
Seeds flourish branches extend and trunks stand firm
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2016
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Carol B. Poem
Prick me with your vivid green awareness
Let the white pins that needle me
Diminish into their foggy sham
The bridal wreath that scented our commitment
Now doused in unkept hopes and promises
Moss sprouting venom from hurts battled
Like a fish floating in space with no oxygen
I swam in currents without you
The tank occupied with endless dark clouds
Fraught with fear and loneliness
Love now submerged deep in the recess of my mind
Unclear what is sacred what is trash
I prayed you would see the light
That my white knight would return
This battle is fierce and yours to fight
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2017
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Carol B. Poem
i heard a...what do they say...a spine chilling scream
...is that the saying?
a spine chilling scream
followed by
'he's dead, my G_d he's dead'
the phrase echoed
inside the whole of me
like tennis balls bouncing between two parallel walls
i ran up
aware i would be at the edge
where the road ends and the gates of heaven stand
saw a young man
looked through the aperture of his existence
looked and singed his eyelashes
looked and could not see beyond now
you know those beautiful fluffy white clouds
the kind that feel like large teddy bears that want to hug you
she had landed her very own- she cherished him
knew who he was
felt lucky they shared a mutual love
i can't imagine the despair
flowed through her when she saw him like that
his doughy complexion screamed volumes
breaking the thunderous silence
he was a pale grey, blank, empty
a sight impossible to process
at odds with how one survives
the experience of this tragedy
she was lost in a dreamless mare
[most of the time
life
its outcome depends on the flip of a coin
if you don't know that you don't understand
life
his coin landed on its side
...all the kings men and all the kings horses...]
her 'beautiful huge fluffy white cloud'
had succumbed to the storm
heart in throat
hesitantly
she touched him
he was a frigid cold
for a moment she saw her own smokey breath
moving as if she was walking
through the thick grains of unbearable pain
thoughts racing
she attempted to make sense of the senseless
despair had grabbed her by the throat
shook her around like so much thread and fabric
she thought he might of seen life as futile
society as a guise, as a failed paradigm
thought he had reached the last motel on the road to nowhere
and just...checked out
depression
the illness
it's unlike any other pain
when it peaks
few if any survive it
the afflicted instinctively self medicate
but street drugs are mean
she could easily empathize
she too was him
honestly she was tired of living in her sadness
a life marinated in tears basted in blood
the experience of having seen her partner
lose his life to drugs and alcohol
affected her profoundly
experiencing his death
was like getting hit over the head with a sledgehammer
she'd never wash it off
it clung to her like a pariah
you can't wake up from reality
and you can't sleep through it
the tragedy had possessed her sensibilities
it was a malignant truth she could not ratify
singular in its nature
unfathomable
she'd been blindfolded and spun
a ballerina on a high wire across the span of time
spiralling down an infinite vortex
one plus one is seven
the ceiling isn't a celestial painting
how many fingers
a forty ounce of vodka
opioids a hundred times stronger than heroin
men in uniforms
and
and
...lost...
what happened?
less than two hours ago
he could think- speak
he had his very own persona
now
lying there
as
nothing
it could have been her
it could have be anyone
but it wasn't
it was- Him
what did occur to her
was
the loss.
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2017
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Carol B. Poem
To me it's always been crystal clear
my emerald heart sheds tear after tear
Intense, easy to emote
it's to love I devote
His golden flakes beat in me like needs
I fill my lungs string him in like beads
As rare as four leaf clovers - we are for real
I must bare my heart for him to also feel
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2016
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Carol B. Poem
Heart beats in rhythm to snowflakes
Cascading in tune to my reality
Like a train travelling through time with no track
Overwelmed by it's vivid fertile surroundings
Colours pencilled in my mind
As a reminder of life and it's many shades
Guided by the brightly lit angels from above
Resolve in my faith remains steadfast
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2016
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Carol B. Poem
Wicked news flash - torrential storm - Purple
streaks of confusion striking. Violent grey
clouds spinning its evil. Hatred scattered
in shreds of hail. Waves pounding
against our aching skulls. Who
can live dangerously and ride
their storm. To roll with the
thunder and never see blue
sky. These puddles of
tears splashing out of
fear. All that made a
clear day is spiralling
out of control. How?
can we keep calm.
Wake from this
never ending
storm. Brace
yourself this
may be a
false
wea
th
er
re
po
r
t
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2017
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Carol B. Poem
Desire strong as the concrete beneath my feet
Missteps hinder my stride along a winding course
Signs clearly marked "Proceed With Caution"
Muscles scream to try something new
Never knowing what direction to turn
Exhausted I throw caution to the wind
Gasping in the air with trepidation
Running as fast and as far as I can
I seize the opportunity to test my endurance
Is it a marathon or merely a sprint this course I am on
I won't let it be a dead end, I won't submit
I will have my answer, I will reach my destination
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2016
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Carol B. Poem
devotion unveiled
the fisherman casts his line
his heart now possessed
curves carved in pleasure
chiseled spine traced by touch
love stripped to the bone
flaws etched precisely
he frees an internal scream
she opens her heart
her essence absorbed
two souls artistic beauty
a match written in stone
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2017
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Carol B. Poem
Nothing is ever black and white,
Definitely,
...I think.
Who am I to speak - zip it...
...
...for now.
I'm not going to lose my head over it.
Well I won't
...but she just might.
Wrong guy.
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2016
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Carol B. Poem
I feel him everywhere
He's my savior and loving prayer
Let me tell you he's mighty fine
Smiling eyes to see me through
In everything I choose to do
The very best of humankind
My very soul my dream come true
Never loved anyone like I love you
God knows I thank him all the time
I feel him everywhere
Angels sent him I'm aware
I will love him till the end of time
Copyright © Carol B. | Year Posted 2016
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