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Aidan Gilbert Poem
To Love My Only Daughter
By: Aidan Gilbert
I wanted to be the best father
To love my only daughter
But a cold war struck my blind eyes
Left my love inside in a knotted tie
This war slowly kills
And I don’t have a will
A will to fight against it
Because of that my daughter took the biggest hit
She was only six
And my life I couldn’t fix
I remember
On a cold November
I took her to her ballet class
And when she was backstage I snuck out to my car and hidden alcohol stash
I would come back and see her dance
See her on that stage prance
See looked at me with a huge smile and those big brown eyes
I had to step outside and cry
Her in her beautiful pink tutu
I’ll never love her like she wants me too
Lilly
Always said when I’m drunk I’m acting silly
If only she knew I won’t be there when the sky is blue
Or new
Only when the sky is grey
With this alcohol addiction I won’t change my way
And the worst of it is you can’t take the sting out of my heart
Because sadly I don’t regret anything from the start
What kind of man am I
To let my only daughter later cry
Because later she will see
The man I chose to be
After her ballet class I took her home
But in that car my drunk mind started to roam
It all happened so fast
It happened in a flash
I passed that red light
My mind was having flashes of us once flying a kite
Then we hit the semi truck…
We didn’t have the time to duck
I remember in that hospital room
I woke up too soon
My shame was hard to hide
I had lost all of my pride
I knew I might never see my daughter again
I knew I probably didn’t win
I looked over at my wife
Drained from her was life
She was shaking
Waiting to see if her daughter would be waking
From that day what I remember best
The doctor came in depressed
He said Lilly did die
I started to cry…
I knew I would never be to tell her I love her again or say goodbye
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2015
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
Halloween: The Best Time of the Year
Halloween
Frightening
Everything about the nonliving
Everything about the dead
Scary stories to be said
Monsters coming out from under your bed
All in one night
All in the biggest fright
Lock your doors really tight
Trick or treat
Smell my feet
Don’t give me no rotten meat!
Candy everywhere
Scary masks giving you a stare
Giving you a scare
Toothaches
People acting fake
Zombies come and wake
Knock on every door
Abandon houses to explore
Stay safe worried moms implore
Flying witches on brooms
Wake up the tombs
You are doomed!
Pumpkins glow out light
Clock strikes midnight
Kids wandering around is still a sight
Children eat pumpkin pie
Watch movies where people die
This night is no lie
Old men hitting teenagers with their canes
People loosing their brains, all aboard the haunted train!
All humans drinking cider
Watch out for hooligan hiders
Watch out for creepy crawly spiders!
Halloween is my favorite time of the year
Everything is to be feared
Everything is a little to near
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2015
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
A Pretty Sound-Hit Me With Your Best Shot
By: Aidan Gilbert
At the park swinging
I heard my phone ringing
Picked it up and heard my Mom crying
The cancer spread, I was told I am dying
It sucks to know you only have two weeks
And to live them in a hospital bedridden too weak
Staring at the ceiling colorless eyed
Hiding the question that burns my jumbled mind
Why did God choose me to die
My parents sitting at my dying side
So quiet I can practically hear my brother two stories down trying not to cry
Taking the elevator with my grandparents to see if his only sister is alright
In my dreams I scream at God
Why did you do this?!
Was there some pretty picture on my way here I missed?!
Well you hit me with your best shot
My remaining cheerfulness you get to watch rot
All of this broke me down
For the first time calm lying still in my hospital gown…
I just wanted to have heard a pretty sound
I was taken by something out of my sight
But I wasn’t truly hurt that I wouldn’t be able to put up a fight
It was me as a fifteen year old girl and being robbed that right.
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2015
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
The Wanderer
By: Aidan Gilbert
People say time ticks faster than it’s allowed
I say we walk too slow
People say stop to enjoy every moment
I say some moments aren’t worth stopping for
Everyone says the storm already passed
That just means I’m following it
Everyday black and grey
It’s all the same
I don’t know which road I lost my soul
Probably lost it before I started this journey
People say death brings sorrow
I say it brings happiness because that’s when you finally get your freedom
I ain’t know mistake in life
Just the sad thing it coughed up
This world is my jail time
It locked me up for wanting innocence
I am not allowed to pray for a better time
Because these bad times are the only times I am allowed
There ain’t no sunshine in Hell!
Just me wandering
Wandering aimlessly around
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2015
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
My Broken Life
All my life I have been running from the sting of the knife
My Dad never provided enough
Which eventually just made me tough
As a child I was wild
I didn’t know what was right
And always got into fights
On the street I had to stay on my feet
And be careful for however I meet
Most of the time there were guns
And I would have to run
My Dad was so bad
It made me sad
You see; he was on drugs
And all I ever wanted was a stupid hug!
I felt like I had to run a mile
Just to see if he could make Mom smile
I could see the lies in his eyes
All I ever wanted was to lie in bed and cry
I got abused left confused and bruised
And I wanted to do was blow a fuse
My Dad didn’t hurt me just a tad
It made me so mad
But I was too scared of the horrors
Behind my bedroom door
I never left it because I knew my father was in dept
And never to except I was there
Just to listen to him be mad and swear
There was no food on the table anyways
Because my Dad was stuck in his drunk daze
My life was something I thought I couldn’t fix
Only at the age of six
Then one day my Dad got fired
And Mom was sick and tired of being with him
And in bed I laid
I overheard my Mom say she was not going to stay
And was going her separate way
My heart started to rapidly pump
And I felt like I just hit a big bump
I thought life wasn’t fair
And my armor that I wore just tore
It was so sad watching her walk out that door
So now a days when I hear my father’s name
It brings me pain and shame
So my life just broke I tripped over the rope
And started to smoke loosing hope
I didn’t have a dime my mind was lost in time
But then everything changed when I wrote down that rhyme
I started to win no more sin just had my mind and my pen
My life started to happen and then I was rap’ in
Then before you know I was behind that curtain ready to put on a show
Everything was working
No more hurting.
I would take my bow
And live for the now
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2015
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
Red Maple
Smiling Red Maple
Red leaves; red heart; shining bright
Take my love; hold it
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2016
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
Meet Me in the Silence
Bleeding call
All my worlds fall
Too much suffering
Painful non-attending
I’m a mess
I’ve failed every test
I couldn’t possibly please you
There is nothing left to hold on to
Amazing grace
Retie every cut shoelace
I keep tripping on myself
I love too much the empty desired wealth
God please save me
Darkness is not the key
Myself I hate
I’m a messy love and you’re my mate
Capture me
Do it slowly
Grasp every wound
Don’t misunderstand me; my fate is not doomed
Feel my infiltrated beating heart
I’m in your arms don’t part
Blow through the weak defending desires
What I believe is true needs to be rewired
From what I think I love but don’t love I need saving
On top of me reality and imagination is caving
God send it all away
With you my heart wants to stay
Meet me in the silence
Let it be tense
Stare into my eyes
Shout the lyrics of my cries
Let me fall onto you
Let these tears be new
May they not be sad
This ongoing painful ride was the last one I had
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2016
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
First Real Love
By: Aidan Gilbert
That night I found love
My eyes meet yours; warmth hit hard
Magic heart, possessed
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2015
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
Tiger Lilly
Whisper right to me
Reach skies; grab my yearning heart
A Tiger Lilly
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2016
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Aidan Gilbert Poem
When the Autumn Leaves Fall...
Blossoms bloom red
Your pretty smile falls beneath your head
Brunette flow
Healthy glow
From then on you hid in my sheets
The thing you were running from I never got to meet
I rushed in
Not knowing it was a bear’s den
We got married
I thought I was what you would need
We planted seed after seed
To grow a tree
But time went on
And you were slowly on your way to gone
I figured out pretty fast
That on your heart’s list I was last
Every day you woke
Around the house a dying smell poked
My affections were true
But you not loving me was something I knew
Don’t wear that disguise
I’m immature but a little wise
I know all your lies
We share the same lives!
Eventually destiny hit in the autumn leaves
With the foxes you became a thief
You threw out my wedding ring
Mascara covered eyes; you were a mess
I didn’t have to guess
You were accompanied by a luggage bag
I watched you leave not knowing you left with all I had
Where do I turn
What lesson is there to be learned!
I am so confused
I’m not walking in my own two shoes
It’s been about a year
My own life I can’t steer
I know I was not in your view
But I’m troubled because I think I stuck onto you like glue
I’m drowning because
These memories are not fading to fuzz
There all a little to real and alive
Dark realization you were all I strived
You were what I sought out
Why I am still teary eyed and missing you remains about
Well I grew that tree and carved our names
To you our love was all fun and games
Then I scratched them out from pain and regret!
My chained emotions had to be let...
Let go
This I think know
But why is letting go still something I am pondering
My heart still does ring
I’m still coming across the past
Your still what I had last
I remember the first time you said hi
I still ask why
Why was I the scapegoat?
Being with you, was it not an authentic lump in my throat?
I stare at the sky so dark
Clarity on mark
I clear my brain
My heart’s stain
My intentions are now in sink
I take a deep breath and blink
Your gone like that
This time I know it’s a fact
I stepped out of the thorn bush and onto the path
I satisfied my own wrath
It took a while for everything to be white
I left you with the fire it took forever to light
I left it all behind
To burn with my battered mind
Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2016
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