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To Love My Only Daughter

To Love My Only Daughter
By: Aidan Gilbert 

I wanted to be the best father
To love my only daughter
But a cold war struck my blind eyes
Left my love inside in a knotted tie
This war slowly kills
And I don’t have a will
A will to fight against it
Because of that my daughter took the biggest hit
She was only six
And my life I couldn’t fix
I remember
On a cold November
I took her to her ballet class
And when she was backstage I snuck out to my car and hidden alcohol stash
I would come back and see her dance
See her on that stage prance
See looked at me with a huge smile and those big brown eyes
I had to step outside and cry
Her in her beautiful pink tutu
I’ll never love her like she wants me too
Lilly 
Always said when I’m drunk I’m acting silly
If only she knew I won’t be there when the sky is blue
Or new
Only when the sky is grey
With this alcohol addiction I won’t change my way
And the worst of it is you can’t take the sting out of my heart
Because sadly I don’t regret anything from the start
What kind of man am I
To let my only daughter later cry
Because later she will see
The man I chose to be
After her ballet class I took her home
But in that car my drunk mind started to roam
It all happened so fast
It happened in a flash
I passed that red light
My mind was having flashes of us once flying a kite
Then we hit the semi truck…
We didn’t have the time to duck
I remember in that hospital room
I woke up too soon
My shame was hard to hide
I had lost all of my pride
I knew I might never see my daughter again
I knew I probably didn’t win
I looked over at my wife
Drained from her was life
She was shaking
Waiting to see if her daughter would be waking
From that day what I remember best
The doctor came in depressed
He said Lilly did die
I started to cry…
I knew I would never be to tell her I love her again or say goodbye

Copyright © Aidan Gilbert | Year Posted 2015

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