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Amber Stratton Poem
I was blinded by darkness
Not knowing where I planted each footfall
I had a body I had a heart
I had a mind and most of all a soul
I thought I was alive with happiness and joy
Alive with peace in my soul
But I was wrong dead wrong
I was all but dead to the world
It was Death that captured and trapped me
In a grave not letting go of me
In the end not knowing it was little ol’ me
Trying to breathe trying to fight my way out
Thinking I was almost there to the top but not even moving
I thought I was justified by my negativity and actions
Not knowing it was trapping me further down
Displaying the ignorance of my ways without caring for the ones I loved
The pain of it that was caused went noticed
Everyone telling me but not realizing it until now
Letting the deceit and evil willingly roll off my tongue
Thinking I was always right on everything
Thinking that all I need was the trust of man
No matter how long I sat by the fire I was cold
Even when the sunlight was resting upon my skin
I was still ice cold as Death’s very own
I did not think that life would be this dead within
The darkness of the ice cold abyss of the grave yard
Picking and choosing what to do seems right but it wasn’t
Trying again and again until finally picking up the one thing
That I thought would not help me in the long run
Thinking that I had all the love in the world
Knowing that nothing can bring me down was one
Of the biggest lies I made myself believe for so long
Thinking I had fait and love in my life but I was wrong
And in the end all there is was nothing but darkness
Deceit and evil rolling off the tongues of you so called
People walking blindly through the shadows
Of the ever present grasp of Deaths darkest abyss
Of all the wickedness that has been committed in my life
Why now has the Mighty Father and Mother given me a second chance
Why have they forgiven me of my sins without a second thought
Have I really forgiven myself so the Father the Mother and the Divine
To enter my body my mind my heart and my soul
Has the Lord and the Lady really seen that I have been trying to
Change and to become an adult woman mentally so my
Husband can rely on me in the time of need like now
I thought I was ready to begin a life with kids
Until I realized that I am still one myself
How will the Lord and Lady tell me when I am ready to have
The family I want with my husband who is my soulmate
All I can do is wait ever so patiently for the moment
The Lord and Lady will tell me when I am ready
Inside that dark grave a white light came to me
With a hand to pull me out of my hole I dug and saved me
From my own condemned version of hell after praying
They deliver me from my sins and the trespasses I’ve done
What are people going to do when they see me
Completely changed after the long visit to LCJ
God and Goddess thank you for saving my when I thought
There was no way for me to be saved and unworthy of it
Again thank you for everything I currently have
In my life my wonderful loving husband that only
Sees the potential in me all the time and the love he
Gives so unconditionally to me even when I
Do wrong in his eyes or the law’s eyes please
Show him the same lovingkindness and forgiveness you
Have so heavily laid on me to realize and forgive
Myself and those around me like I should
Have so long ago when you tried to show me the light
I have forgiven myself of the anger and hate I had
For my adopted family and now it is in the past I cannot
Change that but however I can change how the future
Goes by what I say and plan to do now today
I can look back not so long ago the darkness that
Covered my eyes then and hope the light keeps the veil away
I can see all the negative emotions that were running
And controlling me I had no idea what to do
Now I am grateful for the things I have for
The things I have come to realize on top of everything
I am the most thankful to you in my life
When I thought I did not deserve the love
And the care you have shown me
Love is for an eternity, not just a second, minute, hour or even a day.
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
I had completely given up on life.
I thought there was nothing else in my life to live for.
Then we met again.
I do not know what happened but something inside me lit up.
I could not figure out what was inside this dead heart that caused it to spark to life.
I thought I had loved the real love but this was harder to stop.
Harder more to not give into what is called the unknown emotions of life.
Then you told me you wanted me for me.
I did not know what to do.
Most of me said not to go; not to hurt the MAN in front of me.
When that faithful day came, you told me the absolute truth about loving me.
The moment my heart left my chest I had to chase after it.
My heart led me straight to you; into your arms and into the happiness I needed.
Now I sit here wondering when I will see your handsome face.
Wondering when you will be able to tell me everything and anything on your mind.
Before we got together or even met up again, I did not want a family.
There is something about you alone that caught me, my curiosity.
When your lips fell upon mine, my breath disappears like being stolen right out of me.
When you whisper my name, my voice cuts out and I cannot make a sound.
When I fell your breath on my neck, it sends boiling hot shivers up and down my spine.
When I felt your first touch of the day, it sent a feeling through my body that I don’t know.
I believed and thought why did I get chosen to experience this, but I now do not care.
Now I believe this happened for a reason but that reason I do not know either.
Like the old saying goes, “True love is one of a kind and soulmates are once in a lifetime.”
I had never felt like this before that first time I knew you were my dark prince.
I felt so many different positive sensations.
I did not know where to begin to explain.
Everything I thought about love that did not apply to me.
Then, well…I’m glad it does now.
Everything I thought about life that I would not get to experience.
Everything up to that moment of utter happiness with you, I went through hell.
From being emotionally hurt to being physically beaten for what I believed in.
From being burned by the most common things to the unthinkable kindness you now show me.
I never thought a relationship would be so kind and caring without the violence.
Now all I see is the love and kindness there is suppose to be and now I don’t care about the others.
My heart still won’t let me pick it up out of your hands and put it back in my chest.
Every time I feel your soft hands on my skin my body shudders underneath you.
Right know I can’t wait to see your face light up when you see me again my love.
When you and I get to be together again, I know it will be as amazing and as wonderful like the first.
When we get to be alone, I know you want your way with me; and I will let you.
In the beginning I was scared of what could be but now I want more of the unknown future with you.
I don’t mind having to wait for as long as I get to be beside you in the end.
The love that I have known in the past but the love I know now I want to give to you more.
Now after you have shown me what love really is, I want that family only with you.
I want that family, everything that you would like to have; each other, the family pets, the best; but most of all I want the love the care and my soulmate…
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
The love I feel is just growing into something
I do not know what to call just yet
Every time I think about you my heart starts to race
And keeps going like nascar racecars competing each other for hours
I do not know what is keeping my way of thinking positive
But whatever it is it’s working great
This is the first time in a while that I have ever felt
Fully relaxed and anxious at the same time
Does anyone know exactly how to describe this feeling
Of utter peacefulness inside my very own soul heart mind and body
Baby please see the light and accept what you did wrong
And then forgive yourself of that sin
I am NOT going to stop loving you just because you haven’t seen
It yet but one day you will my love
I will be there to support you and guide you through what I am
Actually putting myself through as of right now baby
I love you so much baby and that will NEVER change
There is nothing that can stop the unconditional love and care inside
My heart that just wants to see your handsome face again
It races around inside my chest and there is nothing
In the way for it to stop moving
From what I have learned about True Love is that whatever tries to get in the
Middle of two people that are bonded together by their souls
There is no stopping that metaphyscial bonding connection
No matter how much they try to snap it it will refuse to give into the
Heavy weight of the negative pressure out there that so many
On earth have or that is jealous of because some does not
It feels like they are obligated to try everything in the world to ruin the
Happiness they see others with without even realizing they are doing it
How long is it going to take to realize that there is no one else in the world
That makes me or you feel the way we do
Is it from knowing that you will never leave me or that I will never leave you over
Anything that can be worked out one way or another
I love you son much and I do miss you a lot however
I will be waiting for you no matter what
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
So many people
So many backgrounds
So many personalities
So many in one place
They come
They go
They visit
Some need help
Some need to talk
Some just listen
Some are old timers
Some are newbies
They travel and hike
They stay where they like
Some have destinations
Some just don’t
There are men
There are women
A few are old ones
A few young ones
A few in the middle
Some are phat
Some are skinny
Some have nothing
Some have something
Some have everything
But everything is nothing
And nothing is everything
Do you know what I mean by this
So many have fun
Some are alcoholics and/or addicts
Some are just sober individuals
Some are just in recovery
P.S. this poem is not insulting anyone for anything.
This poem is just simple observations of the
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
When we see the face of death
We run without thinking why he is here
Normally we don’t know what happens
After the heart finally stops beating its
Rhythmic race after years upon years
Our hearts begin to race as he gets close
We start to pray to our own higher power
‘Lord please if you take me do not let me
Feel the pain that I am imagining now amen’
As he holds his scythe he glides closer and
Closer picking and choosing whom is next
On the list to die tonight no one knows at
That moment if they will die or survive to see
The sun rise in the sky the next morning
What are we to do in the meantime while
He torments the living who have a sickness
Of the body mind or soul we pray again
Please do not take me from my family that
Needs my help to survive
And again another life is spared by his
choosing but not all of our prayers and
pleas will be answered by the one above
there are a few who choose to let the
scythe come down and rip out our soul
and then the heart stops we pass into
the next world or we watch the pain
Tear the hearts of our loved ones apart
Then we slowly start to realize something...
‘To celebrate death is actually to celebrate life itself’
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
wake up in the morning
walk into the kitchen
look out through the window
thinking 'still have enough time'
put the grounds in then then water
the smell of fresh brewed coffee
the brewing process finishes
grabbing a favorite cup out of the cabinet
a little sugar, powdered creamer and a dash of honey
then in goes the coffee
tastes so good and instantly warms the cold spot inside
walk out the front door to sit on the porch
waiting for that first kiss of sunshine to hit
watching the kiss of sunshine touch the dark gloomy sky
finally what was waited for the whole dark and cold night
finally a kiss of sunshine
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
My eyes have been opened to the things that
I did not know I was doing to you to them
Because of my selfish ways I have realized that
There is more to be grateful for and not
Only but so much for being thankful for at the same time
Leaving you to the duty that should
Have been solely mine to do and let you relax now
You have done your main duty in raising me
And now you can have the enjoyment of babysitting them
It is my turn to take on the responsibility that
Was my choice to create in the first place
Don’t worry I am not blaming you or anyone else
My eyes were closed to the fact or should I say
To the truth of life that everyone loses someone they
Love then it becomes a little harder to go through life
But everyone seems to be taking it well except when they
Are alone with the rest of their family at first
I believe family is what keeps a person motivated
Underneath everything else in their way of thinking
The unconditional love that is there from your mothers
From your father from your own kids nothing
Will get in the middle of it if you do not let it…
…the one who wrote this is not who you think she is…
…she has committed crimes and yes it is her own fault…
…and now wants to take responsibility for her word and now actions…
No matter what life throws at people their family
Is all they have and even sometimes some don’t even
Have a family to call on for help in their time of need
The one of many things I am grateful for is
That I have a family so loving and especially wonderful
Mother who would do again what should have been mine
I am truly sorry for all the hardship I have currently
Caused you caused my kids I really do not know
What I would have done it I did not have a mother
Or even a family like you to be my support when in need
I cannot promise I won’t get into trouble again but
I know all I can do is go on with my life and with
Our family’s lives when I am released from my
Current isolation from you guys I promise I will
try to do my best for now on but nothing is for certain
Until the event actually happens…
……in this time……
……in this world……
……and most of all in this life....
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
What is this knot inside my bosom?
What has caused it to be entwined into itself so tight?
What are the words or actions that caused this to happen?
What is exactly inside this knot of pain and misery?
Is it caused from the pain that other have inflicted on me?
What about the tears that cannot seem to come?
I have no idea how to explain this…will someone please help me?
Who caused this knot to form?
I just don’t understand…was it me?
Was it caused by a person that I once loved?
Was it that person’s love that started it in my bosom cavity?
Is it from being isolated that made me notice it was finally there?
Is it from being forsaken by the adopted family?
Was it being discarded and left abandoned that caused this knot?
Mother Father please help me to answer these questions of mine…are you willing?
How many cords of pain have been entwined and woven tightly together?
How long will this knot stay in my heart’s cushioned room?
Where did this great big knot of twisted and painful emotions come from?
Was it from being disowned because of who and what I am?
Was it from making the right decision?
Wait a minute…I still do not know who I am; when will I?
Does everyone go through of not knowing what caused the pain?
Or is it mew thinking too much of something too little?
Is it from the lack of justice due to the person that physically caused harm?
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
The more I think about the past
The more shadowy flashy images come up to the surface
The more I try to figure out what the images
The more I get confused and irate the feelings get
The more I ignore the negative hostility energy
The more it gets worse
The more it tries to boil up to the top
The more the croak stopper quivers
The more it becomes distressed over time
Until the point it unwilling shoots out of the top
Now the toxic venom start to well up
Starts the cascading surge over the smooth lip
Oozing and slithering down the silver-tongued facade
Not wanting to let this unruly and riotous
Venomous poison that turns into violent tendencies
Once this flesh eating liquid poison reaches the edge
The more I try to stop this from happening
The more it claws and tries to hack open the steel door
The door that imprisons this frustration and violence won’t last
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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Amber Stratton Poem
looking out through the eyes of the person
i once knew now realizing that person has changed
without anyone really seeing it happen locked behind
a series of doors that only a privileged few that
have to keys for a specified routine day in and day
out at first not knowing that special day of when
freedom is to come then finding out that one mess up
and gone for quite a while with no one to hold that is
holds the key to this heart being forced to play this
exhausting game of waiting timed intervals of being kept
in a small room from an hour to overnight without
the ability to walk around the streets whenever it is
wanted not wanting to be in the same place for days and
days wishing what was said was not said and having to
go through the same over and over again wanting to
wear anything but the mandatory and disgusting
uniform the way the privileged regulates it every
single day being labeled with a name that does
not fit at all being held for the wrongs that have
been committed in the past hoping to the higher
power that nothing will happen that will not be
able to handle alone the days starting to fly past
really without a thought of what is going to happen
knowing the set routine for the day without
actually looking at the white paper with black
lettering printed upon it once every few days
Copyright © Amber Stratton | Year Posted 2013
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