Unanswered Questions of Pain

What is this knot inside my bosom? What has caused it to be entwined into itself so tight? What are the words or actions that caused this to happen? What is exactly inside this knot of pain and misery? Is it caused from the pain that other have inflicted on me? What about the tears that cannot seem to come? I have no idea how to explain this…will someone please help me? Who caused this knot to form? I just don’t understand…was it me? Was it caused by a person that I once loved? Was it that person’s love that started it in my bosom cavity? Is it from being isolated that made me notice it was finally there? Is it from being forsaken by the adopted family? Was it being discarded and left abandoned that caused this knot? Mother Father please help me to answer these questions of mine…are you willing? How many cords of pain have been entwined and woven tightly together? How long will this knot stay in my heart’s cushioned room? Where did this great big knot of twisted and painful emotions come from? Was it from being disowned because of who and what I am? Was it from making the right decision? Wait a minute…I still do not know who I am; when will I? Does everyone go through of not knowing what caused the pain? Or is it mew thinking too much of something too little? Is it from the lack of justice due to the person that physically caused harm?