Blinded By Darkness

I was blinded by darkness Not knowing where I planted each footfall I had a body I had a heart I had a mind and most of all a soul I thought I was alive with happiness and joy Alive with peace in my soul But I was wrong dead wrong I was all but dead to the world It was Death that captured and trapped me In a grave not letting go of me In the end not knowing it was little ol’ me Trying to breathe trying to fight my way out Thinking I was almost there to the top but not even moving I thought I was justified by my negativity and actions Not knowing it was trapping me further down Displaying the ignorance of my ways without caring for the ones I loved The pain of it that was caused went noticed Everyone telling me but not realizing it until now Letting the deceit and evil willingly roll off my tongue Thinking I was always right on everything Thinking that all I need was the trust of man No matter how long I sat by the fire I was cold Even when the sunlight was resting upon my skin I was still ice cold as Death’s very own I did not think that life would be this dead within The darkness of the ice cold abyss of the grave yard Picking and choosing what to do seems right but it wasn’t Trying again and again until finally picking up the one thing That I thought would not help me in the long run Thinking that I had all the love in the world Knowing that nothing can bring me down was one Of the biggest lies I made myself believe for so long Thinking I had fait and love in my life but I was wrong And in the end all there is was nothing but darkness Deceit and evil rolling off the tongues of you so called People walking blindly through the shadows Of the ever present grasp of Deaths darkest abyss Of all the wickedness that has been committed in my life Why now has the Mighty Father and Mother given me a second chance Why have they forgiven me of my sins without a second thought Have I really forgiven myself so the Father the Mother and the Divine To enter my body my mind my heart and my soul Has the Lord and the Lady really seen that I have been trying to Change and to become an adult woman mentally so my Husband can rely on me in the time of need like now I thought I was ready to begin a life with kids Until I realized that I am still one myself How will the Lord and Lady tell me when I am ready to have The family I want with my husband who is my soulmate All I can do is wait ever so patiently for the moment The Lord and Lady will tell me when I am ready Inside that dark grave a white light came to me With a hand to pull me out of my hole I dug and saved me From my own condemned version of hell after praying They deliver me from my sins and the trespasses I’ve done What are people going to do when they see me Completely changed after the long visit to LCJ God and Goddess thank you for saving my when I thought There was no way for me to be saved and unworthy of it Again thank you for everything I currently have In my life my wonderful loving husband that only Sees the potential in me all the time and the love he Gives so unconditionally to me even when I Do wrong in his eyes or the law’s eyes please Show him the same lovingkindness and forgiveness you Have so heavily laid on me to realize and forgive Myself and those around me like I should Have so long ago when you tried to show me the light I have forgiven myself of the anger and hate I had For my adopted family and now it is in the past I cannot Change that but however I can change how the future Goes by what I say and plan to do now today I can look back not so long ago the darkness that Covered my eyes then and hope the light keeps the veil away I can see all the negative emotions that were running And controlling me I had no idea what to do Now I am grateful for the things I have for The things I have come to realize on top of everything I am the most thankful to you in my life When I thought I did not deserve the love And the care you have shown me Love is for an eternity, not just a second, minute, hour or even a day.