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Best Poems Written by Kory Calhoun

Below are the all-time best Kory Calhoun poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Details | Kory Calhoun Poem

OINK VEY - Limerick

There was a dumb pig from Kauai
Who had a huge stye in his eye
While using a hatchet 
He started to scratch it
Now the swine has an eye in his sty!




Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011



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Don't Touch My Chocolate Covered Nuts

Some think love and romance are sublime
Others feel they're a big waste of time
Both views maybe so
But there's one thing I know
Candy prices are surely a crime!

I'll buy her candies and flowers and charms
When we kiss I'll hear bells and alarms
But one thing can't compare
Is when I'm standing there
Silently holding her close in my arms!


For: Francine Roberts
Valentine's Day Limerick contest

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

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Not Tonight - I Have A Headache

Marie Antoinette - Queen of France
Toyed with promiscuity and Frenchmen's pants.
Lying to Louis; Marie "made her bed."
She was tried for treason and lost her head.


For: Catie Lindsey
You, who...Yo, Clerihew contest

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

Details | Kory Calhoun Poem

You Arrogant Puck

There was a tall brute who played hockey
Whose actions were deemed as quite cocky
His opponents saw red
So they stomped on his head
Now the twerp earns his keep as a jockey!



Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

Details | Kory Calhoun Poem

That must've hurt

There once was a young man from New Paltz
Who performed tricks at bowling league halls
One day with his yo-yo
His teammates screamed: "OH, NO!"
When the darn toy got caught 'round their balls!



For Deborah Guzzi
There once was a man from Dunkirk contest

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011



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Shoe Bop - Kerplop

Cinderella was a starry-eyed lass
Dancing at the ball in shoes made of glass
While bolting for the doors
She encountered waxed floors
And unfortunately fell on her A$$!



For: SKAT*
SHOES contest

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

Details | Kory Calhoun Poem

Rain - Fall Upon Me Again

She entered my life upon happenstance.
I was unaware and naive.
No angels to carry my chin.
No raindrops to cleanse my emptiness.
"I am a landscaper without a garden.
Surely, you cannot help me?"

An unhesitant smile bewitched me.
I began to drown within the scent of her hair.
Her left eyelash softly brushed my cheek
rendering me captured and speechless.

"My name is Rain."
I paused. I silently swallowed.
Her simplistic beauty enveloped me.
Cerulean eyes. Crimson lips. Indigo lashes.
Our fingertips entwined and my being
was suffocated into the magical beating of her heart.

I bowed my head and stammered:
"I've never flown above canyons before."
"I usually sink into the bottom of an empty lake."
Rain kept silent. She spoke to me through her eyes.
Riding upon the wings of an ivory stallion, we glided.
A crystal ball of wonderment she bequeathed me.
She abled me to envision:

Memories from my past.
Hopes of my present.
Dreams for my future.
Our journey seemed like an eternity.
A carousel ride a child never wants to cease;
a mysterious enchantress I wanted to stay.

I didn't expect her exit.

The clouds swelled around her flowing silk cloak;
her wings of white. I remember now. I wanted to cry 
as she drifted into the inviting dusk. 
I thought I was sobbing but was mistaken. 
I was basking in the memories, 
hopes, dreams and 
the promise of tomorrows
with the glorious teardrops of 
my guardian angel.
"Rain...
whisper your sacred lullabyes and
fall upon me again.
Please, fall upon me 
again."

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

Details | Kory Calhoun Poem

Zanphilia

Without a wish in my heart
I stare at glen's pinnacle.
The end of the yellow brick road shakes my weary hand.

Without a knot in my throat
I gaze past a forgotten dell's innocence.
The beginning of a backward's journey has just begun.

The fairy tale was a lie.
The epic had no moral.
The brook is a silent Shangrila preserved for me.

Lost and wandering.
One guardian angel became lost.
Sherlock Holmes failed upon her obvious whereabouts.

Zanphilia speaks to no one.
She combs her hair with honey -
Looking for her forgotten Echo in disenchanted streams.

A goddess of philosophy.
A virgin removed from the claws of Zeus
Needing to baptize herself within salvations's waters.

I see my perfected wings.
I don't see the lustrous beauty beyond them;
I envision the ignorance of clandestine laughter.

The crocus shimmer.
The woodlands set the winds into symphonic overtures.
The morals Aesop needed to write disappeared.

I am Mother Nature.
My name is Zanphilia.
I am omnipresent.
I surround you.
My actions warrant no excuses.
I accept no apologies or prayers.

Speak to me anytime you desire.
Reflections are oft captivating.


Written by: Kory Calhoun
Written for: ~~Constance La France~~ A Rambling Poet's contest~~
                                         ~~REFLECTION~~

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

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Saturday Night's Alright For Sleeping

It's gettin' late and
                                             we couldn't wait.
Me and Ma      just downed         12 cold beers.
It's seven o'clock 
                                 and we both are crocked.
And my drug dealer’s fi-nal-ly here.

My ole Dad’s a stinkin’ like
                    a skunk who’s been binge drinkin’
as my poor Mom       slumps           in her chair.
My sister looks hot 
                                   after smoking some pot.
I’m hoping that she’ll                 surely share-a!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! – 

C'mon and give me some medications!
I've had it with your saccharine!
Whoa! Saturday Night's alright for sleeping.
Getta little shut-eye in.
Gonna be as sleepy as Van Winkles brain.
Gonna set my clock – yeah, right!
Cause Saturday Night’s tonight, goodnight!
Saturday Night’s tonight – Goodnight…Goodniiiiiiight!

Woooooooh!Oooooooh!Ooooh!Ooooh!Ooooh!

Well I’m whacked fairly tight 
                                                  and feeling light.
Taking one more Percocet               will do me right.
I may slug some Robitussin 
                                         and suck-in some weed.
Popping three more oxycontins will be
                                                          all I’ll need!

A couple-of-a drugs that are really keen
Are Sominex and Nytol 
                                                  with doxylamine.
I'm a juvenile junkie                 who hasn’t any class
Watching Motrin PM tablets 
                                                      fizz in a glass.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! – 

C'mon and give me some medications!
I'm tired of potassium!
Saturday Night's alright for sleeping.
Getta couple Zzzz-Zzzz’s in.
Gonna guzzle Ny-Quil ‘til I feel no pain.
Pullin’ down my shades real tight.
Cause Saturday Night’s tonight, goodnight!
Saturday Night’s tonight – Goodnight…Goodniiiiiiight!

Oooooooh!Oooooooh!Ooooh!Ooooh!Ooooh!

Saturday…Saturday!
Saturday…Saturday…Saturday!
Saturday…Saturday…Saturday!
Saturday Night, goodnight!

Saturday…Saturday!
Saturday…Saturday…Saturday!
Saturday…Saturday…Saturday!
Saturday Night, goodnight!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


For: Mr. John Heck
Dear John contest - Elton John (music)/Bernie Taupin (lyrics)
Sung to the tune of: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

Details | Kory Calhoun Poem

Karen's Song

I woke up this morning
giving undue thanks to anyone.
I took for granted that the sun was shining 
as I was showering.
I turned on my computer without
a second thought as I sipped my coffee.
I clicked onto my usual poetry venue 
out of sheer habit and ennui.
Looking for a way to expend precious
moments I never pay attention to.
Searching for something not thought of
until that certain someone finds you.

I stumbled upon words.
I stumbled upon icons.
I stumbled upon her.

I read her visceral emotions. 
dedicated to a person I didn’t.
I saw strength between each delicate letter.
I felt unconditional love 
in the blank spaces admist each verse.
My friend resounded unbridled courage 
that didn’t need a medal or a monument.

She reverberated life.
She reverberated power.
She reverberated friendship.
She presented me with hope.

What a beautiful gift one can give.
Although poetry is an art form -
giving of one's self is silent godsong.
Dearest poetess -
although we are strangers
I must tell you something.
There is an angel beside you.
You may not be able to see 
their halo or wings - but they are there.
Not too many people 
are visited by mortal cherubs.
You, my friend are truly blessed
You cannot see me crying now,
can you?

...can you?

For: Debbie Guzzi
Free Verse Seriously contest.

Copyright © Kory Calhoun | Year Posted 2011

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