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Best Poems Written by Crystal Hendrickson

Below are the all-time best Crystal Hendrickson poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Masks

We're not taught how to love one another.
We're not taught how to love ourselves.
But for humans there's no choice... it's engrained in us to want love, to want connection, to feel CO-NNECTED.
So we project it in the only way we know, the way this society teaches us- to seek validation. From the likes to the dislikes to the shares.
I look around and I see people so afraid to be themselves. How they can- it's just a cycle. Fearful people bringing up fearful people.
Wearing masks, gripping on to them for dear life. Too afraid to show the darkness, too afraid to show their scars. If only they could see the beauty in them.
Look at their masks. Each branded with their need for validation. 
LOOK AT ME! LOVE ME! RESPECT ME! NEED ME! WANT ME!
SEEEEE ME!
Or am I just seeing my reflection?

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Listen But Don'T Hear

I wish I could hear him when he tells me I'm beautiful. I wish I could hear him when he tells me he loves me. I wish I could feel the love he tries to give to me. But all my life people have told me one thing and done another. Their 'love' for me has only brought me pain. It's gotten to the point where I listen but I don't hear. I care but I don't love. I feel but with caution, never deep. I'll let you into my life, but not into my heart. I don't expect anything from anyone, sometimes I even expect the worst from people- that way I can't be disappointed. I can't feel the pain when they 'hurt' me. Sometimes I feel so numb. I want to feel. I want to remember what love is like, how it truly really feels. But I don't even know where to begin. Where do I begin?

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Farewell

Who would have known the day I opened my heart.
We'd fall apart.
I showed you my vulnerability.
Then you lost your credibility.
It can't be a coincidence.
Maybe its your insolence.
I was ok that you needed space.
There were some things you 'needed' to face.
But you dissapeared without a trace.
What am I supposed to do.
I'm healing to.
But I would never leave you wondering.
I would never leave you begging for the phone to ring.
Not now.
But wow.
You know what hurts the most.
Is that I know you see my calls, but you choose to ghost.
I let you in
Thought you were my twin.
You just tossed me in the bin.
Is it with a grin?
Was this the plan all along? 
To see how much pain you could prolong?
Question after question, my mind is spinning.
This was meant to be our beginning.
I'm going between justifying and being mad at you.
Because this all came out the blue.
When you told me I could give you my trust.
I believed you, for me it was must.
When I looked into your eyes I thought I saw honesty.
So you can imagine my shock, with your lack of integrity.
This isn't love.
Love is doing all you can and above.
Not something you just shove.
And that's why I'm letting you go.
Not even sure if you care to know.
But in the end this will help me grow.
Yeah I've cried.
But I've got the universe on my side.
One day I'll have love I deserve.
Something you will get to observe.
Im sure it will hit a nerve.
So yeah,  I'll be ok.
You're the one with the price to pay.
Because you see me I'm one of kind.
Some have said a rare find. 
In the end you have lost.
And look at what it has cost.
Deep down I'll always be that huge regret.
The 'what if' you can't forget.
But you need to know you have my forgiveness.
Depsite everything I want you to win in this.
There's no hate in my heart.
Even though we are apart.
For me this only the start
With this poem is my final cry.
My final sigh.
But most importantly my final goodbye.

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Being Real

Being real.
What does this mean.
Being authentic?
Telling people what you really think.
Not letting others opinions affect your decisions.
But I'm going to say it again what is real?
Your environment, the things you've experienced, your conditioning, societal norms have created YOU.
What happens when we strip all that away?
Would you be you, if you grew up in a different home, with different parents, with more love, with less love, with more death, with less death. You might not be you.
So then who are you? 
Without the programming. Because really and truly that all it really is. Like a computer. So what happens if we do a factory reset. Who are you then? 
This is the question to ask.
Go within, spend time alone. Unplug. It will be the best and worst thing you do. You'll have to face some programs that don't serve your system at all and uninstall them. You'll have to update a few things and rearrange the more important programs so they're accessible. Some parts are easy and fun and some literally feel like you have the whole world on your shoulders. But at the end of the day. YOU. I mean the real YOU is worth it.

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Stagnancy

Stagnancy is an illusion, that I've been choosing.
Barriers of the mind, are the worst kind.
Trapped in the pain, escape is hard to gain.
Drowning in sorrow, makes it hard to see tomorrow.
It feels like I've been walking with a blindfold.
With nothing to hold, my freedom sold.
Stuck in the cycle of lack, my dreams I pack.
Put them at bay, keep them away.
For that someday.
That never comes...
Because I'm stuck in the cycle of living off crumbs.
Crumbs...Crumbs of happiness.
When will I win in this?
Universe why cant I be free? 
Can someone, something, anything  save me?
I can't breathe!
I'm tired.
What is required? 
I'm just tryna be freed.
What is this greed? 
Deep down I know 'I am all I need'
Is it my 'not enough' that brings this despair?
Am I the cause of this pain I cannot bear? 
Lost in fear.
Has made my mind unclear.
I don't want to shed another tear.
But I cry. I get high to get by. Always asking why? I can't see the sky.
But now I see it's just a lie.
When you focus on the darkness of course you can't see.
As much as you plea, you can never just 'be'
Whilst I've been focusing on what I haven't got.
The goodness around me has seemed to rot.
I'm starting to see the cycle.
Listen.. this is vital.
The more I focus on the pain.
The less ease I gain.
The more hateful.
The less there is to be grateful.
The more unworthy I feel.
The less the things I deserve reveal.
So what does this mean? 
What have I seen? 
So if this stagnancy has been a illusion.
Best believe I'm refusin'.
It's all about perspective.
Remembering the objective.
Thoughts selective.
Now this is affective .
This is my declaration.
This is my confirmation.
I choose to feel good.
The way that I should.
I choose to leave my mental prison.
But instead focus on how I have risen.
I choose to let go.
So that I can grow.
Now I know that it won't all be easy.
I snap my finger and then everything is breezy.
There may be times the old thoughts come up.
But unlike before I won't hold on, i'll let them drop.
I'm dedicated to my peace.
I'm dedicated to my release.
I'm dedicated for the constant struggle to cease.
I'm in this for the long run.
The next chapter for me has begun.

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Another Farewell

All the signs are saying let him go
You don't even have the decency to let me know
One minute we're flowing, growing
Next I'm left not knowing
You said you need to some time alone
You may not answer the phone
You said you just need some time go within
So the healing can begin
Ok I'll give you some time
Parnonia has set in... has he done a crime?
Not agains the law but against my trust
Has he fallen into the trap of lust? 
What am I supposed to think
I'm searching for clarity, so I create the link 
You've disappeared
Something I've always feared
Let some in and they leave me
No explanation, they just flee
I miss you
This was out the blue
Even though it was my fear
For this I did not prepare
I want to believe that is gonna work.
That you'll hit me up and apologise for being a jerk
That you're sorry and theres no need to worry
You feel better now and things aren't as blurry
But my gut and heart know this can't be 
You see
Right now in life we need different things
And although that thought stings
I know one day we'll both get the love we deserve 
For now I'll sit back and observe.

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

The Rents

Opposites created me. He was constant and strong. My rock. But exactly that. A statue. No emotion. She was here and there. Strong than weak. Kind then cruel. This created me.

So who am I? I tried to be like him. I looked up to him. My hero. Ok. I won't show emotion. I won't let them see the pain. I won't even let myself see the pain. But now, now I see how weak, how hurt my hero really was. I saw what his IDGAF attitude really was. He created a barrier against the world so he wouldn't get hurt, so he wouldn't feel. They see strength. Now all I can see is pain. They see confidence some say arrogance. I see a little boy using his words to protect to himself. Fending away anyone who can hurt him.

And there's her. Always been the darkness in my life. So much pain. So much confusion. All I wanted was her love. But she'd never been shown love. She'd never been shown how to love herself. But mannnnn... she'd been shown the worst of all. Self hate. A poison that runs through her veins. A poison I'm still detoxifying from. So yeah, she could never love me. But that's ok. I have a dream that one day she'll overflow with love and she can share some with me. That I can trust her fully. Let the barriers down. One day.

This created me.

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

My Heart

Never given my heart
I didn't want to fall apart
You see right from the start
I've seen the damage love can make
I knew my heart couldn't take
'Love' was never a piece of cake
Seen my mom abused
Something I've always refused
This made me confused
Seen my dad settle
Think that's when my heart turned to metal
But the inside is still more delicate than a petal
The barrier is hard
Always on guard
Because the inside is deeply scarred
How do you give away something that's not even yours?
I'm a cancerian, shouldn't this run through my pores
But I can get on all fours
I can give you body, I can give you some tours.
But...HE makes me want to feel
When I'm with him it's so surreal
I don't have to conceal
Never had a man care so much
At least not without 'touch'
But I won't let him be my crutch
He sees me
I'm the lock and he's the key
With him I'm free to be
His priority is understanding my mind
He not perfect but to me he's so kind
What a wonderful find
I wish I had a heart to give
Then the pain I must relive 
In order to forgive 
So that I can heal
So that I can deal
So that I can be real 
But most of all so that I can feel.

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Are You Ready

You see what's outside
But do you care to know what's within
Do you care to know who I am
My dreams
How I love
My demons
The highs
The lows
You think you can have just this, what you see 
But can you take on every part of me..
Are you ready?
For the light
For the darkness
For laughs 
For the pain
I'll say it again
Are you ready 
For the light for the darkness
For the laughs
For the pain
ARE YOU READY?

Details | Crystal Hendrickson Poem

Free Yourself

You have the ability to free yourself at anytime.
Stop treating yourself like you've committed a crime.
Stop beating yourself up for what could have been.
Stop obsessing over what can't be seen.
To free yourself, you allow.
You live in the now.
You flow.
You let go.
Choose gratitude.
Now that's the attitude.
That can change any mood. 
Allow you to feel renewed.
Remember it's all about how you feel.
From this your world will reveal.