Opposites created me. He was constant and strong. My rock. But exactly that. A statue. No emotion. She was here and there. Strong than weak. Kind then cruel. This created me.
So who am I? I tried to be like him. I looked up to him. My hero. Ok. I won't show emotion. I won't let them see the pain. I won't even let myself see the pain. But now, now I see how weak, how hurt my hero really was. I saw what his IDGAF attitude really was. He created a barrier against the world so he wouldn't get hurt, so he wouldn't feel. They see strength. Now all I can see is pain. They see confidence some say arrogance. I see a little boy using his words to protect to himself. Fending away anyone who can hurt him.
And there's her. Always been the darkness in my life. So much pain. So much confusion. All I wanted was her love. But she'd never been shown love. She'd never been shown how to love herself. But mannnnn... she'd been shown the worst of all. Self hate. A poison that runs through her veins. A poison I'm still detoxifying from. So yeah, she could never love me. But that's ok. I have a dream that one day she'll overflow with love and she can share some with me. That I can trust her fully. Let the barriers down. One day.
This created me.
Copyright © Crystal Hendrickson | Year Posted 2019